Venting You ever feel like others have just crushed life out of you?

[ClaireBear31]

I'm so tired of fighting all the time. Even when good things happen, my SO finds a way to make them negative. For example, I just got a promotion at work. My SO went on a rant about how I must think I am better than him because of it, and how all I care about is making more money than he does instead of considering his feelings. (He has severe anxiety and depression that are medication-resistant.) I keep trying to be strong but I so exhausted and drained. Life has sucked all the life out of me and I have nothing left to give.

 

[randomz]

I am sorry to hear that - Just keep in mind that his words regarding you doing better in life is just his condition speaking not his heart. Maybe take some time off in order to "recharge" the batteries.

 

[Oyoy]

I'm so tired of fighting all the time. Even when good things happen, my SO finds a way to make them negative. For example, I just got a promotion at work. My SO went on a rant about how I must think I am better than him because of it, and how all I care about is making more money than he does instead of considering his feelings. (He has severe anxiety and depression that are medication-resistant.) I keep trying to be strong but I so exhausted and drained. Life has sucked all the life out of me and I have nothing left to give.

He is not secure. That's not your fault.

 

[cant cry]

That's abusive. I felt totally drained all the time when I was married to a psychological abuser. And he always tried to make excuses for himself, like his depression caused him to mistreat me. It was bullsh*t. I agree that you should take some time away from him.

And congratulations on your promotion. That's wonderful :).

 

[Ghost2211]

That is an emotionally abusive dynamic. Do you benefit from this relationshi?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I agree this is abusive, and with everything @cant cry said.

Doesn't mean people who abuse don't have problems, but you can't fix the problems or the person, you don't have that superpower. Right now he has power -- to bring you down to his depressed and anxious level, and if he maintains this position, to bring you eventually lower than where he is. And he will never be satisfied. Those who vampire, even the saddest ones, have to drain every last drop of life force, even though it never brings them the life force for themselves that they seek. So of course you feel drained.

I highly recommend doing some research on domestic violence, perhaps calling a DV hotline and talking about this incident to get some outside perspective. This negation sounds like a step on the path toward isolating you. His words reflect he will try to make you responsible for any verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive thing he does to you, and in fact he's already doing this. He sucks the joy and life out of your life-building and self-affirming accomplishments. If he can't have them, then in his mind, neither should you, and you're abusive for seeking and having them -- BULLSHIT.

Some recommended reading resources if you seek them as another form of support:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resources-for-learning-boundaries.30500/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/manipulation-tactics.31123/

 

[ClaireBear31]

You are all right... and thank you for the resources. There are so many other factors here and I can't get out. I'm too tired to even try. I just want to die already but I can't even get away from him long enough to use my SN successfully

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

You are all right... and thank you for the resources. There are so many other factors here and I can't get out. I'm too tired to even try. I just want to die already but I can't even get away from him long enough to use my SN successfully

I'm not at all encouraging you to ctb, but unless you work from home, it seems like you do get away from him for extended periods.

 

[lostangel]

I'm so tired of fighting all the time. Even when good things happen, my SO finds a way to make them negative. For example, I just got a promotion at work. My SO went on a rant about how I must think I am better than him because of it, and how all I care about is making more money than he does instead of considering his feelings. (He has severe anxiety and depression that are medication-resistant.) I keep trying to be strong but I so exhausted and drained. Life has sucked all the life out of me and I have nothing left to give.

Yes, I really do feel like others have crushed the life out of me. I feel like they do it on purpose even though they don't. Being around toxic family members and having zero friends make life hard. Other people being such assholes are just a part of my reason to ctb. I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

People gaslight you without even knowing it

The slimy jealous mean spirited jaded fucks

 

[BPD Barbie]

At one point I crushed the life out of myself, didn't need other people's help to do it, my own mind was enough sadly.

 

[Ghost2211]

You are all right... and thank you for the resources. There are so many other factors here and I can't get out. I'm too tired to even try. I just want to die already but I can't even get away from him long enough to use my SN successfully

You only need like a hour. Doesn't he ever go out? Or could you say you're going to take a bath?

i have the same problem. NEVER alone.

 

[Cevapcici]

My SO went on a rant about how I must think I am better than him because of it, and how all I care about is making more money than he does instead of considering his feelings. .

First off, congratulations for getting that promotion ! Your promotion is about you, he should stop making things about him.

Well it's very hard to fight on two stages at once , the first being your workplace environment, and the second being your private life. Of course you're drained, you're left to fend for yourself 24/7. Have you tried explaining your SO that ehm...him not making efforts not to project his inner negativity and bitterness onto you will eventually ruin your relationship , or are you walking on eggshells so much that you can't even bring the topic without him making you feel bad for being hurt by his behaviours?
I'm just so stunned and confused by his self centered reaction to your achievements , that I suspect he's a covert narcissist...