L

LifeAfterDeath00

Member
Oct 11, 2019
75
So I failed. Yes, I used N yet here I am. No as an example but as a remainder. You are so much more, gosh, you are worth so fucking much more. You are here for a reason, not the reason being you are going to become the next rocket scientist or the next curator for cancer or even covid19 for that matter. But you are here to live, to make memories, good or bad. You are going to fail, and that is okay. You will also succeed, Not every time, and not everyone will appreciate it, recognize ir. But you will do incredible stuff for yourself. I just chugged down a bunch of N enough to make me drowsy, I am insanely out of it, feeling like. I have no balance, but I want you all. to know you guys rock, even when life made you feel like it was unfair you kept going. Don't compare with others, they have their own demon to battle, you guys are here. I have come to my senses an honestly dying isn't worth it, living is. I will live. I will be fucking alive. And so will all of you. Thanks for fighting, no I mean it, Thank You.
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
I look forward to your comments here when you're sober. If you survive drinking the N that is.

Not trying to make you feel bad, but that was some serious nonsensical gibberish.
 
Marktheghost

Marktheghost

Paragon
Feb 20, 2020
911
Thanks for the encouragement. I'd still prefer to die though.

How much nembutal did you take?
 
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
So I failed. Yes, I used N yet here I am. No as an example but as a remainder. You are so much more, gosh, you are worth so fucking much more. You are here for a reason, not the reason being you are going to become the next rocket scientist or the next curator for cancer or even covid19 for that matter. But you are here to live, to make memories, good or bad. You are going to fail, and that is okay. You will also succeed, Not every time, and not everyone will appreciate it, recognize ir. But you will do incredible stuff for yourself. I just chugged down a bunch of N enough to make me drowsy, I am insanely out of it, feeling like. I have no balance, but I want you all. to know you guys rock, even when life made you feel like it was unfair you kept going. Don't compare with others, they have their own demon to battle, you guys are here. I have come to my senses an honestly dying isn't worth it, living is. I will live. I will be fucking alive. And so will all of you. Thanks for fighting, no I mean it, Thank You.
So you didn't finish it all?

Get a good night's sleep friend and tell your story in detail in a few days.

Good for you that you changed your mind in time!
 
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Luchs

Luchs

kristallene Bergluft über verfallener Gruft
Aug 20, 2019
528
So I failed. Yes, I used N yet here I am. No as an example but as a remainder. You are so much more, gosh, you are worth so fucking much more. You are here for a reason, not the reason being you are going to become the next rocket scientist or the next curator for cancer or even covid19 for that matter. But you are here to live, to make memories, good or bad. You are going to fail, and that is okay. You will also succeed, Not every time, and not everyone will appreciate it, recognize ir. But you will do incredible stuff for yourself. I just chugged down a bunch of N enough to make me drowsy, I am insanely out of it, feeling like. I have no balance, but I want you all. to know you guys rock, even when life made you feel like it was unfair you kept going. Don't compare with others, they have their own demon to battle, you guys are here. I have come to my senses an honestly dying isn't worth it, living is. I will live. I will be fucking alive. And so will all of you. Thanks for fighting, no I mean it, Thank You.
If you knew me, who I am, how I act, what and how I think, you wouldn't say these things.
 
coreofanapple

coreofanapple

I am un chien andalusia
Mar 31, 2020
43
Hey, I know what I am, let me be content in knowing that.
 
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Notabadguy

Notabadguy

Mage
Feb 7, 2020
576
So I failed. Yes, I used N yet here I am
Man, you can't say that you did take N and failed without giving explanations. N is the gold standard. It's against the rules of the forum accusing someone of making up stories, so I won't say that, but at least you should explain. You can't just say that N doesn't work. How much did you take? Was it, maybe, out of date? Maybe did you throw up?

SN is not reliable (7/10 in the PPH), N it is (10/10).
 
Donk

Donk

Useless since day 1
Jan 3, 2020
1,129
how in the world did you survive N? how much did you take?
 
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L

LifeAfterDeath00

Member
Oct 11, 2019
75
how in the world did you survive N? how much did you take?
threw up, I woke up next to puke. I lost a lot of dignity that day, please don't make me recall the events. Also, yes I didn't take the entire thing, I also spilled a lot of it, the taste is disgusting, trying to live is much better. I just hope I get the better mental acumen to survive.
If you knew me, who I am, how I act, what and how I think, you wouldn't say these things.
if you knew me, maybe you would say the same or worse, For once be kind to yourself, someone else isn't going to do it for you.
I hope I don't come to this forum, I hope you guys don't too, and get the required help. We all deserve better days, I mean it. Let's reach our potential.
 
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Donk

Donk

Useless since day 1
Jan 3, 2020
1,129
threw up, I woke up next to puke. I lost a lot of dignity that day, please don't make me recall the events. Also, yes I didn't take the entire thing, I also spilled a lot of it, the taste is disgusting, trying to live is much better. I just hope I get the better mental acumen to survive.

if you knew me, maybe you would say the same or worse, For once be kind to yourself, someone else isn't going to do it for you.
I hope I don't come to this forum, I hope you guys don't too, and get the required help. We all deserve better days, I mean it. Let's reach our potential.

be kind to myself and get required help? yes! thats it! how come i never thought about that???? you are a life saver! lets all reach our potential everyone! and all this time my goal in life was to be the shittiest person on earth. wait...you forgot "you have so much to live for" and the good ole "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary solution".
 
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LuzurPhagget

LuzurPhagget

Experienced
Sep 15, 2019
288
be kind to myself and get required help? yes! thats it! how come i never thought about that???? you are a life saver! lets all reach our potential everyone! and all this time my goal in life was to be the shittiest person on earth. wait...you forgot "you have so much to live for" and the good ole "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary solution".

C'mon man. This is in recovery.
 
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Darkmoon Queen

Darkmoon Queen

Specialist
Apr 1, 2020
396
threw up, I woke up next to puke. I lost a lot of dignity that day, please don't make me recall the events. Also, yes I didn't take the entire thing, I also spilled a lot of it, the taste is disgusting, trying to live is much better. I just hope I get the better mental acumen to survive.

if you knew me, maybe you would say the same or worse, For once be kind to yourself, someone else isn't going to do it for you.
I hope I don't come to this forum, I hope you guys don't too, and get the required help. We all deserve better days, I mean it. Let's reach our potential.

If I can ask.. what caused this level of turn around? I hope you're okay, man, but.. I'm just confused. You actually did it, you got the balls and determination to do it and now you seem so grateful to live. Which I hope lasts, I just.. yeah, confused but I'm happy if you are!
 
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Notabadguy

Notabadguy

Mage
Feb 7, 2020
576
So I failed. Yes, I used N yet here I am. No as an example but as a remainder. You are so much more, gosh, you are worth so fucking much more. You are here for a reason, not the reason being you are going to become the next rocket scientist or the next curator for cancer or even covid19 for that matter. But you are here to live, to make memories, good or bad. You are going to fail, and that is okay. You will also succeed, Not every time, and not everyone will appreciate it, recognize ir. But you will do incredible stuff for yourself. I just chugged down a bunch of N enough to make me drowsy, I am insanely out of it, feeling like. I have no balance, but I want you all. to know you guys rock, even when life made you feel like it was unfair you kept going. Don't compare with others, they have their own demon to battle, you guys are here. I have come to my senses an honestly dying isn't worth it, living is. I will live. I will be fucking alive. And so will all of you. Thanks for fighting, no I mean it, Thank You.
I'm glad you're better, but CTBing is a personal matter.
 
Notabadguy

Notabadguy

Mage
Feb 7, 2020
576
I'm not doing that. I don't know what you're talking about.
 
Darkmoon Queen

Darkmoon Queen

Specialist
Apr 1, 2020
396
I'm not doing that. I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, dude, you do. You just came over to my thread about watching people die to start blathering that no one uses videos for research and that we're all sick and angry reacted every post that disagreed. Infact, you're now actively trying to derail that thread to talk about buying N, which was nothing to do with the original topic.
Now you're telling OP not to detail his experiences.

What is it you hope to get out of this forum? It's called Sanctioned Suicide, it's where people talking about dying, HELLO
 
Last edited:
L

LifeAfterDeath00

Member
Oct 11, 2019
75
If I can ask.. what caused this level of turn around? I hope you're okay, man, but.. I'm just confused. You actually did it, you got the balls and determination to do it and now you seem so grateful to live. Which I hope lasts, I just.. yeah, confused but I'm happy if you are!
you are asking my why the turn around, right? It seems unfair I die. No matter how hard I try, I am the fucking selfish bitch in this movie, who feeds off other peoples money, and they get to treat me like some pile of shit on the side of the road. All this, because I try my fucking best to please these same people, I give them power. It feels unfair, that I have to die as a big pile of shit. I will do something, at least gain some amount of achievement to turn the table. I will be rich, hence, independent, and I will work my ass off, I know the fucking neurons in my brain will tell me otherwise, reminding me of how undesirable I am, but still iI will work for the life I want, if I don't get it? Well, I will move one. I tried to kill myself and remained unconscious for 3 days like nothing happened. What's the worse that will happen, I will try again? Well, shit hope I get it right this time. And if I succeed? I get to feel that sort of serendipity I once felt.
Tl;dr: I can't quit right now, now is not the time. I have my whole life to die, what is the rush? I am already a failure, hit my rock bottom, dropped out of college. Still I have something in me which gets me going, and until I run of that invisible magical shit, I am going to make things right. At least die trying. Also, sorry about my bad grammar, gotta polish my English a bit.
 

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