M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
It sounds kind of ridiculous. But this is probably the biggest source of my problems. Over the course of my life I have been conditioned to believe everything my brother says.

When I was younger, I was very impressionable. I'm 33 now, but we never learned that I had high functioning autism until a few years ago. How exactly that affected me as a child, I'm not totally sure, but one thing I do know is that I really looked up to my brother; I downright worshiped him. I was always a deep thinker, and when I had anxiety about thoughts like "what if God doesn't exist" or, "how can there be a hell if God is all loving," and stuff like that, my brother always sat me down and put all my concerns to ease. At other times he would joke about having supernatural powers and being able to fly or predict the future, and while other people knew he was joking, I really believed it. Long story short, I believed that my brother knew everything, and now that I'm older and know better, it's really hard to get that out of my system, especially when I've always been really humble, and my brother's always been rather arrogant and egotistical.

It's really hard for me to summarize all this in just a few sentences. Basically because of my reliance on my brother to validate my own ideas, I have very low self esteem. And anytime he says something I don't agree with, it causes anxiety for me, because I know I don't agree with him, but at the same time subconsciously I'm still compelled to believe the things he says. If I don't address this I might just be depressed for a whole day, or several days, depending on the severity of it. Yes, I know, I'm really sick. In the past My way of dealing with this has been to pester him until he explains things to me in a way that sounds good to me. It's not just him, though. I have a difficult time dealing with other people's opinion's in general. According to my psychiatrist, it's an extension of the problems I have with my brother. Basically, I always feel the need to have my opinions validated by other people.
 
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Can'tStandAnymore

Can'tStandAnymore

Custom title
Mar 16, 2019
234
Basically, I always feel the need to have my opinions validated by other people.

I can understand you. This is quite common between the autistic people.
 
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Can'tStandAnymore

Can'tStandAnymore

Custom title
Mar 16, 2019
234
Is that so? I had no idea
I have seen several autistic people whose living the problem that I mentioned. One of them is me indeed.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
It sounds kind of ridiculous. But this is probably the biggest source of my problems. Over the course of my life I have been conditioned to believe everything my brother says.

When I was younger, I was very impressionable. I'm 33 now, but we never learned that I had high functioning autism until a few years ago. How exactly that affected me as a child, I'm not totally sure, but one thing I do know is that I really looked up to my brother; I downright worshiped him. I was always a deep thinker, and when I had anxiety about thoughts like "what if God doesn't exist" or, "how can there be a hell if God is all loving," and stuff like that, my brother always sat me down and put all my concerns to ease. At other times he would joke about having supernatural powers and being able to fly or predict the future, and while other people knew he was joking, I really believed it. Long story short, I believed that my brother knew everything, and now that I'm older and know better, it's really hard to get that out of my system, especially when I've always been really humble, and my brother's always been rather arrogant and egotistical.

It's really hard for me to summarize all this in just a few sentences. Basically because of my reliance on my brother to validate my own ideas, I have very low self esteem. And anytime he says something I don't agree with, it causes anxiety for me, because I know I don't agree with him, but at the same time subconsciously I'm still compelled to believe the things he says. If I don't address this I might just be depressed for a whole day, or several days, depending on the severity of it. Yes, I know, I'm really sick. In the past My way of dealing with this has been to pester him until he explains things to me in a way that sounds good to me. It's not just him, though. I have a difficult time dealing with other people's opinion's in general. According to my psychiatrist, it's an extension of the problems I have with my brother. Basically, I always feel the need to have my opinions validated by other people.
I didn't learn how brainwashed I was until I discovered YouTube lol! I was very depressed for awhile and angry. I always sensed something was wrong with society I live in but I was unaware just how deep the shit goes.
 
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Davy

Davy

Have a great day!
Mar 24, 2019
144
Basically, I always feel the need to have my opinions validated by other people.
technically you are doing this right now by reading our posts in order to reaffirm what you are thinking :ohhhh:
 
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EddieAllenPoe

EddieAllenPoe

Specialist
Mar 19, 2019
304
It's actually normal to look to others, especially close family members, to validate your opinions and beliefs. We are social animals. People who have extreme autism would actually be more likely to ignore validation from others. But let's say you actually do have autism. How would having autistic characteristics change anything? It sounds like you have grabbed ahold of this label just to condemn and belittle yourself. You should be kinder to yourself. Everyone has quirks and flaws.
 
Temporarilyabsurd

Temporarilyabsurd

NOISE:signal
Apr 27, 2018
438
It's the biggest human issue possibly , because we are guided by culture as much as instinct.

Your brother being a big part of it is underlining the emotional part of it .


It's a theme of philosophy and literature ... and a never ending conundrum for the human beast ,

It's always pissed me off !
 
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
It's actually normal to look to others, especially close family members, to validate your opinions and beliefs. We are social animals. People who have extreme autism would actually be more likely to ignore validation from others. But let's say you actually do have autism. How would having autistic characteristics change anything? It sounds like you have grabbed ahold of this label just to condemn and belittle yourself. You should be kinder to yourself. Everyone has quirks and flaws.

I was grappling with this problem long before I knew I had autism. I only learned that in the last couple years. I've been obsessed with everything with my brother says going back longer than 10 years
 
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EddieAllenPoe

EddieAllenPoe

Specialist
Mar 19, 2019
304
I was grappling with this problem long before I knew I had autism. I only learned that in the last couple years. I've been obsessed with everything with my brother says going back longer than 10 years

I'm kind of similar dude. I don't know if you would call it aspbergers or what, but I can relate. I can be really obsessed with single subjects for long periods. Apparently people with aspbergers and autism are at a high risk for suicidal ideation. What you may come to notice with some time and experience is that you are not alone. I don't think people used to be as aware of autism as they are now. We tend to think of people like "rainman." Autism is actually a spectrum "disorder". My key point to you is that you shouldn't think of it as a disability, especially if you are high functioning. Think of it as a funny quirk. It's more common than you may be aware. I see it in a lot of people.
 
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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
I'm kind of similar dude. I don't know if you would call it aspbergers or what, but I can relate. I can be really obsessed with single subjects for long periods. Apparently people with aspbergers and autism are at a high risk for suicidal ideation. What you may come to notice with some time and experience is that you are not alone. I don't think people used to be as aware of autism as they are now. We tend to think of people like "rainman." Autism is actually a spectrum "disorder". My key point to you is that you shouldn't think of it as a disability, especially if you are high functioning. Think of it as a funny quirk. It's more common than you may be aware. I see it in a lot of people.

I appreciate the support and info, and the fact that I have HFA really doesn't bother me. The only reason I listed it in my post was to give information about myself. It may not even have been relevant, hence why I said, "how exactly that (my autism) affected me as a child, I'm not totally sure." Since you mentioned obsession, though, I do suffer from OCD; I don't know if this is the way it is for you, but I have a tendency to become extremely fixated on certain things people say. Like for example if my brother says something that upsets me, I have a tendency to think about that statement for hours, or days even, making me upset and depressed if I can't forget about it (or talk to him about it, which I try to avoid doing these days). I really just try to avoid talking to my brother altogether these days.

By the way BeetleJuice is awesome :D
 
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EddieAllenPoe

EddieAllenPoe

Specialist
Mar 19, 2019
304
I appreciate the support and info, and the fact that I have HFA really doesn't bother me. The only reason I listed it in my post was to give information about myself. It may not even have been relevant, hence why I said, "how exactly that (my autism) affected me as a child, I'm not totally sure." Since you mentioned obsession, though, I do suffer from OCD; I don't know if this is the way it is for you, but I have a tendency to become extremely fixated on certain things people say. Like for example if my brother says something that upsets me, I have a tendency to think about that statement for hours, or days even, making me upset and depressed if I can't forget about it (or talk to him about it, which I try to avoid doing these days). I really just try to avoid talking to my brother altogether these days.

By the way BeetleJuice is awesome :D

Oh yeah. All the time. You know, I think a lot of my professors from college were in the same boat. I think you have to be OCD in order to get a PHD. It requires an abnormal focus and fixation towards abstract thoughts.

I tend to obsess about things such as religion or philosophy. It took me years to grow out of weird beliefs that I used to fixate on. Lately, I got really fixated on suicide methods because I was feeling suicidal. Trust me. I can relate. On the positive side, these traits can be harnessed and can be turned into strengths.
 

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