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danzk

danzk

Member
Apr 27, 2023
30
I never tell my problems to people close to me, and I always keep everything to myself, but I know that I have my reasons for wanting to take my life, but even knowing my reasons I catch myself thinking that I don't have enough problems and that if I If I talked about these problems with other people they would think that I have no reason to want to take my life and that I'm just being a coward who runs from my own problems and I don't judge these people, maybe they're right, I'm just a person who runs away from their problems.
 
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U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,451
If you are serious and genuine about wanting to CTB then telling people is a terrible idea. Nothing good can come from it.

I never understand these people crying and whining about being locked up or their method being taken away after they tell someone. If you are serious, keep quiet. Simple.

As for enough reasons, you don't need any. It's your life and if you want out, you want out. The right to die is universal, at least in most western countries, there are no restrictions.
 
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uncat_

uncat_

aspiring corpse
Nov 3, 2023
115
I never tell my problems to people close to me, and I always keep everything to myself, but I know that I have my reasons for wanting to take my life, but even knowing my reasons I catch myself thinking that I don't have enough problems and that if I If I talked about these problems with other people they would think that I have no reason to want to take my life and that I'm just being a coward who runs from my own problems and I don't judge these people, maybe they're right, I'm just a person who runs away from their problems.
youre literally shinji
yeah thats just not true at all
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,037
Any reason that makes u suicidal is a valid reason - otherwise, it wouldn't make you suicidal. The question is can those reasons be solved somehow or not? You're not a coward for contemplating suicide at all it's a logic consequence of circumstances.

Depending on how much you want to share you can consider discussing your problems with others here - maybe that can help you finding a solution for yourself.
 
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sugarb

sugarb

long time sunshine
Jun 14, 2024
187
I never tell my problems to people close to me, and I always keep everything to myself, but I know that I have my reasons for wanting to take my life, but even knowing my reasons I catch myself thinking that I don't have enough problems and that if I If I talked about these problems with other people they would think that I have no reason to want to take my life and that I'm just being a coward who runs from my own problems and I don't judge these people, maybe they're right, I'm just a person who runs away from their problems.
I personally don't think I need a reason beyond "I want to". There're a few dozen other reasons that factor into that, obviously, but ultimately that's all that matters- my life is my own, and I'll do with it what I want.

I could improve myself in the ways I'm supposed to. Take a million pills, tuck away my strange, ugly thoughts, work hard till I die, fit in better, have more intimate relationships, keep trying to fill the time before I die with a rapidly shrinking supply of things I find interesting and stimulating- maybe I could seriously pursue a dream, find success, etc.

Thing is- I don't want it. I don't want to live as a married man with happy children and a loving wife. I don't want to live as an acclaimed artist. I don't want to live like my 25 year old friend or my father or any man I know. I don't want to live like any woman I know, either. I don't want to be anyone. I don't want anything past today, let alone past age 30, as much as other people might enjoy their lives. It's been boring and tiring so far and I don't see it getting to be anything more. I've seen enough, felt enough, experienced enough of what the world has to offer. Seeing the ocean first would be nice, I think- but if I had a gun I'd do it tonight. As of this writing there is nothing on this earth that can hold me here.

I went on a bit of a tangent but anyways- the only reason that actually matters is "I want to" and you don't have to justify yourself to anyone
 
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pilotviolin

pilotviolin

five lives too late, and there's blood in my hair
Jan 27, 2024
254
i understand not feeling valid in our reasoning to die, that surely things must be worse for us to want to end our life, it can feel very guilty and shameful, and im sorry you feel like that. with that said, me personally i have been trying to abandon the "good enough/bad enough" mindset, whether it be to death and to life. unfortunately we cannot control how other people view these things, alot of people always want explanations, reasons, exceptions, etc. but its lifted alot off my shoulders realising we are allowed to feel whatever we want, and its makes living a little bit easier, but also does make accepting death a little easier as well. its your choice who and if you tell anyone but i hope someday youll meet someone wholl accept you and not make harsh and invalidating judgements. but yeah it can be difficult, and knowing what many people think about our suicidal ideation doesnt really help or make things better most of the time.
 
U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,451
youre literally shinji

yeah thats just not true at all
Well not every country but there are certainly no restrictions in the UK or US. No matter their age or circumstances, someone is allowed to take their own life.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,246
I have plenty of reasons, but none of them are really good enough. I don't deserve the peaceful kind of death many here long for. I can only hope that when I do die it will make the world a slightly better place just because I'm not in it.
 
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sugarb

sugarb

long time sunshine
Jun 14, 2024
187
Well not every country but there are certainly no restrictions in the UK or US. No matter their age or circumstances, someone is allowed to take their own life.
Not being sent to prison for a failed attempt is not the same thing as suicide being convenient, unstigmatized, and carrying no risk of incarceration in a hospital.

It's "allowed" in a similar vein to how people are "allowed" to have no place to live. The phrase you're looking for is "not always a legal offense that results in fines or jail time", because by no means is it "allowed".

If you're caught, you will likely be sent to a mental hospital against your will. If you are suspected of planning it, you can and often will be denied access to the means of carrying out that plan- guns, chemicals, gas, etc. Bystanders, family, and friends can be and often are enormous obstacles. Obstructing suicide is also "allowed" and completely legal for the most part, be it reporting you or disposing of your method.

We've had this exact conversation before and it's just as ridiculous as the first time.
 
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Edpal247

Edpal247

Experienced
Jul 9, 2024
222
I think I have plenty of good reasons. And only one good reason to wait a while longer.
 
jbear824

jbear824

trapped & scared
Jul 4, 2023
404
The exact opposite. I feel like I find more and more every day.
 
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schmerz

schmerz

if i don't survive, i'll still be by your side
Jul 7, 2024
26
your reasons are valid, no matter how miniscule you might think they are. often we are our own worst critic and downplay the seriousness of our problems
if you are serious about the path you want to take, then even just that is enough
 
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honestmind

Member
Jul 4, 2024
9
I personally don't think I need a reason beyond "I want to". There're a few dozen other reasons that factor into that, obviously, but ultimately that's all that matters- my life is my own, and I'll do with it what I want.

I could improve myself in the ways I'm supposed to. Take a million pills, tuck away my strange, ugly thoughts, work hard till I die, fit in better, have more intimate relationships, keep trying to fill the time before I die with a rapidly shrinking supply of things I find interesting and stimulating- maybe I could seriously pursue a dream, find success, etc.

Thing is- I don't want it. I don't want to live as a married man with happy children and a loving wife. I don't want to live as an acclaimed artist. I don't want to live like my 25 year old friend or my father or any man I know. I don't want to live like any woman I know, either. I don't want to be anyone. I don't want anything past today, let alone past age 30, as much as other people might enjoy their lives. It's been boring and tiring so far and I don't see it getting to be anything more. I've seen enough, felt enough, experienced enough of what the world has to offer. Seeing the ocean first would be nice, I think- but if I had a gun I'd do it tonight. As of this writing there is nothing on this earth that can hold me here.

I went on a bit of a tangent but anyways- the only reason that actually matters is "I want to" and you don't have to justify yourself to anyone
"Thing is- I don't want it," exactly. I've never felt more understood by a single sentence.
 
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