Venting yet another reminder my friends fucking hate me

[waistcoat]

can't give too much information without deanonimising myself, but ffs i was doing relatively okay today and then just get hit with the onslaught that is my friends fucking hate me.

i love seeing messages of people shit talking and spreading lies about me, i've tried so many fucking times to just get over it, put up a facade and be okay, but everywhere i go these cunts follow, spreading their shit before i even realise, and by the time i do - it's too fucking late anyway.

this is the, what, third, fourth(?) time this year that i've had someone i trust above all else lie to my face and shit talk + spread rumours about me.

i'm just going to go back to isolating myself, it's easier when i don't have to decide if someone likes me or not.

no fucking wonder i have trust issues.

 

[Z-A]

I'm glad to have chosen to be isolated from people, because I remember those times when these sorts of situations have made me feel like absolute shit.

Sorry to hear about your experience tho, hope you feel better soon People can be so cruel sometimes.

 

[waistcoat]

I'm glad to have chosen to be isolated from people, because I remember those times when these sorts of situations have made me feel like absolute shit.

Sorry to hear about your experience tho, hope you feel better soon People can be so cruel sometimes.

i go on and off into isolation for months to years at a time, each time thinking it'll be different the next time around.
this time is my last though. i had started reaching out this time in a last-ditch effort to find a reason to stay alive.

 

[yellowraincoat225]

I'm so sorry, this probably doesn't help, but in my friend group there was someone who did some questionable stuff and we were complaining to each other about her, mostly just revealing some lies that she had said about us. (Well she never told lies about me to the others, but they let me in on all the revelations and the "gossip", so I became complicit and told them things she did that ticked me off)

But then it turned into speculating if anything she did was 'honest' or 'real', like they'd talk about how she was obsessed with her boyfriend, then making speculations and assumptions about her bf, they talked about her like she was hot gossip, like how one of them suspected that she was telling lies to make her roommate sound bad, how she did things for attention, or that no one at her college liked her, etc etc

It was basically bullying at that point and I wasn't innocent. I recently told that friend everything that was happening behind her back, and long story short I lost all but one friend.

They were highschool friends, and I already have no friends in college, so now I'm officially friendless and it's my fault.

Yea, this definitely did not help you, and maybe I'm just using this as a way to vent.

But karma's real and I'm going to die, maybe you can imagine I'm one of your "friends" and maybe the thought of me dying can give you some peace? At least now you know, some pos bullies do get their come-uppence.

 

[waistcoat]

I'm so sorry, this probably doesn't help, but in my friend group there was someone who did some questionable stuff and we were complaining to each other about her, mostly just revealing some lies that she had said about us. (Well she never told lies about me to the others, but they let me in on all the revelations and the "gossip", so I became complicit and told them things she did that ticked me off)

But then it turned into speculating if anything she did was 'honest' or 'real', like they'd talk about how she was obsessed with her boyfriend, then making speculations and assumptions about her bf, they talked about her like she was hot gossip, like how one of them suspected that she was telling lies to make her roommate sound bad, how she did things for attention, or that no one at her college liked her, etc etc

It was basically bullying at that point and I wasn't innocent. I recently told that friend everything that was happening behind her back, and long story short I lost all but one friend.

They were highschool friends, and I already have no friends in college, so now I'm officially friendless and it's my fault.

Yea, this definitely did not help you, and maybe I'm just using this as a way to vent.

But karma's real and I'm going to die, maybe you can imagine I'm one of your "friends" and maybe the thought of me dying can give you some peace? At least now you know, some pos bullies do get their come-uppence.

you did the right thing in coming forward, i can imagine that hurt to do, you can rest easy knowing you were brave and strong.

 

[TheHolySword]

I'm so sorry to hear this):
I understand isolation. All my life isolation has been one of the only things I have truly understood. I go back and forth between it. Each time it's harder to come back. This one though, this one I made final. I destroyed every bridge I could. There's no going back to the people I cherished most. I had to do it to spare them from what I was going to do. The only friends I have left are a small group from high school and we only see each other a couple times a year if we're lucky. There's no one in my life anymore and that's the way I needed it to be.

 

[waistcoat]

i've cut off everyone i can that won't end up with a wellfare check.
i've had some people directly threaten me with a wellfare check if i don't respond to them within 24 hours whenever they text me, love this.

 

[TheHolySword]

that's just cruel

 

[waistcoat]

that's just cruel

yeah, i regret trying to find a reason to survive

 

[waistcoat]

i've cut off everyone i can that won't end up with a wellfare check.

update: had a welfare check, looks like i misjudged this