Venting yeah so here I am with my tourniquet

[ultrasharpy123456]

I followed the troonatnoor pdf thing. I made the tourniquet like 2 months ago. Never used it. But I'm sure it works I've just never tested it out. What gives me assurance is that other people have passed out with the tourniquet method and I think why ppl fail with it is because they don't angle it.

So yeah anyways here I am. I should kill myself soon but I'm following law of assumption for no reason instead of getting a job and I'm doing the void state thinking I can manifest a life for me instantly. Will it work? I dunno. I've been to the void before it was pitch black I just never affirmed for my desires.

Do I want to get better? Well I am better and I guess I don't mind getting a job but it's just the type of person I am is better for suicide. I'm hard to get along with and I make ppl angry at me. Idk. I just wanna kinda like unexist and I do have the method for that and I probably WAS gonna do it today but you know I have wait for warm days, wait til everyone is gone from the house, etc.

So how's my health? Well Most of my body has been examined except for my brain and everyone thinks I'm fine. I feel a little head pain from time to time and I know all this came from my failed attempt at suicide with the carotid method. I choose the carotid method because I don't have money for a gun or smth. Idk I think I'm just ready to not exist.
I now see a psychiatrist. Cool. Thing is what is that gonna do for me? They know I can't talk about suicide because if I do the psychologst is gonna prob. put me on some drugs or send me to a psych ward. Also it's pointless because like I'm kinda ready to just die.

I dunno. If the void state is real I should just try getting there and let it take care of me.

 

[Outandproud]

I talked to my psycologist about suicide and ask her to not tell the psychiatrist, and it was ok, she didnt fail me.. we even discuss a bit about the foroum and she didnt judge.. just advice me to try to not spent too much time in it.. i know i was very lucky to find her, most hc workers are so close minded.. im sorry that you cant talk freely about your feelings and thougths with them

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

I talked to my psycologist about suicide and ask her to not tell the psychiatrist, and it was ok, she didnt fail me.. we even discuss a bit about the foroum and she didnt judge.. just advice me to try to not spent too much time in it.. i know i was very lucky to find her, most hc workers are so close minded.. im sorry that you cant talk freely about your feelings and thougths with them

yeah it sucks but what can u do

 

[FuneralCry]

At least you have a method that you feel confident in for when the time is right to leave. I guess that if the tourniquet method works, it's always another option as a way to be gone from this world.
I wish you the best.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

At least you have a method that you feel confident in for when the time is right to leave. I guess that if the tourniquet method works, it's always another option as a way to be gone from this world.
I wish you the best.

thanks. I don't know if I'll ctb using it. But it does work. People fail because of the positioning. It shouldnt take too much pressure to work. And it's just like hanging only without the rope attached to something. So it does work it just you gotta treat it like hanging you know? And we've had ppl like fktworld who used it and got a success. Bread with milk passed out with the tourniquet method while drunk.

It does work it's just more technical but it does work.

 

[Sad_Sack]

Just be careful if you do a practice run because you can go out way faster than you might think. I tried to end it the may before last and I used a tourniquet that I made from a cloth mask and a wooden spoon. I think I went out in maybe 5 seconds. I had thought that tucking the spoon over my shoulder and laying on it would keep it secure but it must have slipped. That or the cloth slowly stretched. I came to and after I realised what was going on tightened it again and the same thing happened again.

 

[Outandproud]

Just be careful if you do a practice run because you can go out way faster than you might think. I tried to end it the may before last and I used a tourniquet that I made from a cloth mask and a wooden spoon. I think I went out in maybe 5 seconds. I had thought that tucking the spoon over my shoulder and laying on it would keep it secure but it must have slipped. That or the cloth slowly stretched. I came to and after I realised what was going on tightened it again and the same thing happened again.

And how did it feel physically?

 

[Sad_Sack]

And how did it feel physically?

I had to play around a bit because I was compressing more of the jugular veins and it felt like my head was going to hemorage in various different places. When I did get the carotids to compress it was not that bad at all. There is definitley uncomfortable pressure but i did not find it to be a deal breaker. It progresses quickly from a lightheadedness to a slow building of warmth in your head and then your vision starts graying out. Then its like succumbing to anesthesia. You are just out and have no idea at what exact point it happened. I'm pretty sure I was out in around 5 seconds if not slightly longer.

 

[Outandproud]

I had to play around a bit because I was compressing more of the jugular veins and it felt like my head was going to hemorage in various different places. When I did get the carotids to compress it was not that bad at all. There is definitley uncomfortable pressure but i did not find it to be a deal breaker. It progresses quickly from a lightheadedness to a slow building of warmth in your head and then your vision starts graying out. Then its like succumbing to anesthesia. You are just out and have no idea at what exact point it happened. I'm pretty sure I was out in around 5 seconds if not slightly longer.

Thanks for the details, its helpfull.. i would like to try it just to know.. maybe ill ask another person to choke me. Idk if it is risky like you can get permanent damage. I not intend to ctb now but its one method i would seriously consider in the future.. since i wouldnt enjoy poisoning myself, jumping or being decapitated by a train.. theres not so many choises. Did you have a headache and weakness all day afterwards?

 

[Sad_Sack]

Thanks for the details, its helpfull.. i would like to try it just to know.. maybe ill ask another person to choke me. Idk if it is risky like you can get permanent damage. I not intend to ctb now but its one method i would seriously consider in the future.. since i wouldnt enjoy poisoning myself, jumping or being decapitated by a train.. theres not so many choises. Did you have a headache and weakness all day afterwards?

Actually my head didn't hurt anymore than usual but I always have head pain. I forgot to mention that afterwards I was coughing up a lot of blood and my throat did hurt. This wouldn't have been an issue if it did not loosen up though. Please be very careful with testing it out. A lot could go wrong and everyone's physiology is different.

 

[Outandproud]

Actually my head didn't hurt anymore than usual but I always have head pain. I forgot to mention that afterwards I was coughing up a lot of blood and my throat did hurt. This wouldn't have been an issue if it did not loosen up though. Please be very careful with testing it out. A lot could go wrong and everyone's physiology is different

You got me there with the blood thing, didnt expect it.. sorry that you had to suffer like that, it must have been a difficult day.. ill be careful yes, thanks for worring about me Lots of love