Venting X's & O's

[Mx_Pathetic]

So I found out my ex is in a new relationship. It's been half a year maybe, more since our break up and our relationship was only for a small period of time (4 months). I always wondered why I get so obsessed and attached to people so quickly when they show me a little bit of kindness. I'm still struggling getting over him and it's been difficult but I'm pulling through. I also keep finding out more stuff about my mental illnesses, like how I get hyper fixated on people/ games/ objects. I was searching for reasons on why I do these things and it's funny how most of the mental crap I have such as OCD, ADHD, Anxiety and Depression can all make you feel hyper fixated on things. Not just 1 BUT ALL! Now one of my mental illnesses I don't know much about, ADHD. I was diagnosed with it at such a young age and when I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety they where always the focus so I never had time for the rest to learn how to deal with them. I found out so much from reading stuff about ADHD. There is a thing ADHD people are know for and apperently it's called "love bombing" and when I was reading more about it, I was so shocked and relieved on how much I related to that. I also found out that people with ADHD also handle break ups so much more difficult then other people would. I always thought I was just highly emotional but then I find out stuff like this I was just blown away.. Now when I talk about ADHD I know not everyone is the same when it comes to symptoms, etc. But for me this was such a big relief...I wish I knew more of this stuff when I was young, it would of helped me so much more in the long run.

 

[m4rius]

I obsess similarly. Over my goals, over my cleanliness, my health, etc. Perfectionist turned mentally disordered.

Do you relate to symptoms of BPD? They tend to obsess over their partners too. I relate to almost all of the symptoms.

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

I obsess similarly. Over my goals, over my cleanliness, my health, etc. Perfectionist turned mentally disordered.

Do you relate to symptoms of BPD? They tend to obsess over their partners too. I relate to almost all of the symptoms.

I tried getting tested for BPD because I related to alot of the symptoms but when it came to talking to my doctors, etc about it, they were almost pushed down. Like they told me not to worry about it and my mum would always say there is no point in knowing if you do because it won't help it'll just add to the mental illnesses that I already have.

 

[m4rius]

I tried getting tested for BPD because I related to alot of the symptoms but when it came to talking to my doctors, etc about it, they were almost pushed down. Like they told me not to worry about it and my mum would always say there is no point in knowing if you do because it won't help it'll just add to the mental illnesses that I already have.

You probably have it.

A strong piece of evidence would be if you had experienced childhood distress growing up. Like neglect, trauma, etc. Rarely though BPD can still happen in people even without environmental influence but simply from genetics, it always varies.

BPD is horrible. At least 70% attempt suicide once in their lifetimes and that 1 in 10 actually CTB. Pretty sure it's the deadliest mental disorder that isn't an outright illness like schizophrenia. Imagine having BPD and no one to relate with IRL, never-ending loneliness and instability. Mind you, it's often treatment-resistant too. It's a curse.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It helped me to find out about limerance. I think all of my (crazy, obsessive) crushes have been this.

Yeah- I do understand. It's like I was able to remove myself from it a bit. The feelings used to just feel overwhelming and kind of confusing- because they were SO disproportionate to who the person was revealing themselves to be. It certainly helped me not to put myself through it again! I'm pretty careful now when I start to feel myself obsessing.

 

[MrDarkness]

I tried getting tested for BPD because I related to alot of the symptoms but when it came to talking to my doctors, etc about it, they were almost pushed down. Like they told me not to worry about it and my mum would always say there is no point in knowing if you do because it won't help it'll just add to the mental illnesses that I already have.

They usually don't diagnosed for 2 reasons either your too young and they think it's hormones, or they don't give a shit

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

You probably have it.

A strong piece of evidence would be if you had experienced childhood distress growing up. Like neglect, trauma, etc. Rarely though BPD can still happen in people even without environmental influence but simply from genetics, it always varies.

BPD is horrible. At least 70% attempt suicide once in their lifetimes and that 1 in 10 actually CTB. Pretty sure it's the deadliest mental disorder that isn't an outright illness like schizophrenia. Imagine having BPD and no one to relate with IRL, never-ending loneliness and instability. Mind you, it's often treatment-resistant too. It's a curse.

Yeah I was highly trumatized as a child and I've attempted quiet alot. I wish they would atleast get it try to see if I have it yknow. But they just won't and I don't understand why

They usually don't diagnosed for 2 reasons either your too young and they think it's hormones, or they don't give a shit

I think I asked around when I was 18-19 so not to long ago. So gonna assume the last one

It helped me to find out about limerance. I think all of my (crazy, obsessive) crushes have been this.

Yeah- I do understand. It's like I was able to remove myself from it a bit. The feelings used to just feel overwhelming and kind of confusing- because they were SO disproportionate to who the person was revealing themselves to be. It certainly helped me not to put myself through it again! I'm pretty careful now when I start to feel myself obsessing.

I've been in ALOT of relationship, starting when I was 5-6. Looking back I can tell I had a problem. I'd get attached quickly and start things so fast, I'd get jealous and emotionally attached. I've grown alot since then and have definitely worked on whatever is wrong with me. I looked at limerance and completely agree with most of the symptoms that go with it. Through the amount of relationship Ive been in which is over 40+ within 19 years I've definitely slowed down when it comes to relationships. I have to take space sometimes and I always have to go slow when it comes to any relationship I don't just jump into them anymore no matter how badly I want to or am tempted.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm bpd and am very clingy and needy. I'm also really insecure and terrified of abandonment.
Yes, I am emotionally fucked-up to be sure.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

I think it's best to avoid or to find out what your ex is up to ( for instance looking at their social media etc)…..

I met a very handsome guy who is my type on paper as they say …but oh God I have so many problems and issues myself to even think about dating .

As for dating it's okay to not feel okay after a break up, but with time you will be fine…. For you to heal you just need a bit of time. After a while you will be okay.

All the best OP.

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

I think it's best to avoid or to find out what your ex is up to ( for instance looking at their social media etc)…..

I met a very handsome guy who is my type on paper as they say …but oh God I have so many problems and issues myself to even think about dating .

As for dating it's okay to not feel okay after a break up, but with time you will be fine…. For you to heal you just need a bit of time. After a while you will be okay.

All the best OP.

I can't help but look at he's socials and see what's he's doing. I don't even feel creepy about it. I just feel to upset that he's moved on and cares so little about what we had.

I'm bpd and am very clingy and needy. I'm also really insecure and terrified of abandonment.
Yes, I am emotionally fucked-up to be sure.

I feel that on way to many levels. I'm pretty much just a mental mess.

 

[ares0027]

I am on the same train. But mine is a little bit different. She is married :) this kinda smothered every ember of hope. So hopefully i will be gone in a few hours if i dont chicken out again.

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

I am on the same train. But mine is a little bit different. She is married :) this kinda smothered every ember of hope. So hopefully i will be gone in a few hours if i dont chicken out again

Trust me when I say I've been throw my fair share of painful heartbreaks, but it's not worth ending your life over. I'm not saying it's a dumb reason to end your life, because it's your reason and it's valid. But definitely think about everything before you make a decision you might regret. Love isn't worth the end of someone's life. It's bloody painful and takes way to much time to heal but there is always going to be someone out there that sees you.

 

[ares0027]

Trust me when I say I've been throw my fair share of painful heartbreaks, but it's not worth ending your life over. I'm not saying it's a dumb reason to end your life, because it's your reason and it's valid. But definitely think about everything before you make a decision you might regret. Love isn't worth the end of someone's life. It's bloody painful and takes way to much time to heal but there is always going to be someone out there that sees you.

thank you so much for your reply :) yea that is not my reason. i was ready and even got myself into the idea before i was with her and even tried it while i was with her. she is not THE reason. one of the reasons yes, but not THE one.