Venting WTF why is IT winning? I don’t wanna die! :(

[Mustkeyknow]

Why is my brain winning? Why am I planning my own death? And the worst part is that the feeling won't go away!

Some friends are like , you gotta stay busy, and I agree, but the worm is there already, Suicide ideation is there already, and it isn't going anywhere, and it looks like it's winning.

Everyone is so collected, I'm sure they have their own issues, but they're not suicidal. I'm jealous of them. They don't have it all together and yet they want to live, they wanna stay here. I just wanna sleep forever .

It'll win, it doesn't matter how many psychiatrists and psychologists I visit, it'll win, eventually. I'm fucked. I hate this. It's like a cancer winning and I know I'm dying all I can do is write goodbye letters.

I hope it doesn't win. And I hope this is just a phase. But the fuck I'm joking right?

 

[Melkus2020]

Keep fighting champ. It's what matters to you and how much you value your life. That is the way to win over your mind.

 

[faust]

Once the seed is planted, the rain will do the rest.
Suicide is just a part of your life as well as a part of mine.
Maybe if it is ideation, then it can remain ideation? I guess it is not anymore when you are planning. If you like watching football, it does not mean you have to play it. But you want.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

FIGHT THAT COCKSUCKER OF A DEATH IMPULSE and tell me why you want to die. Why do you want or need to die? If you have a big problem you need to escape from, I am trying to plan a big wilderness runaway so a bunch of people or one person can come together and start our own society in the wilderness, to escape our problems and live peacefully and take our chances, because if people are committing suicide anyway, why not die trying to survive in the wilderness and have some ADVENTUROUS FUN!,!,!

But if you don't want to run, that is fine too. Tell me why you want to die TELL ME!!!

 

[k75]

If you're not anti-med, you might consider trying lithium if you haven't already. It's proven to help with suicidal ideation. Things aren't going so well with me right now, but in the past, it's helped me a lot. At one point, it completely erased the urges.

 

[Melkus2020]

You should also post this in recover. Most people here are already planning to be among the deceased

 

[faust]

FIGHT THAT COCKSUCKER OF A DEATH IMPULSE and tell me why you want to die. Why do you want or need to die? If you have a big problem you need to escape from, I am trying to plan a big wilderness runaway so a bunch of people or one person can come together and start our own society in the wilderness, to escape our problems and live peacefully and take our chances, because if people are committing suicide anyway, why not die trying to survive in the wilderness and have some ADVENTUROUS FUN!,!,!

But if you don't want to run, that is fine too. Tell me why you want to die TELL ME!!!

Honestly, it is not a pleasant way to die. It would be okay to camp in the forest before you die, but dying from starvation, dehydration or wild animals is not the dream way. Unless you always dreamt of seeing a grizzly in wildlife

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

Honestly, it is not a pleasant way to die. It would be okay to camp in the forest before you die, but dying from starvation, dehydration or wild animals is not the dream way. Unless you always dreamt of seeing a grizzly in wildlife

Well usually when you have another person or a group of humans the bear will be easily scared off. And we would have bear horns, bear spray, etc. I work out in the petroleum industry and used to go hiking and backpacking lots and have had coyotes, bears, etc. The bear we saw on our worksite lease just turned back around, and a couple bears I saw backpacking went away after sounding the horn. Wild animals are usually not too bad of a deal, but dehydration I guess could be countered. There are special water filter straws (I have used one before), boiling water, etc. Water isn't really an issue as long as you're near a stream I guess. But starvation could be a problem I guess... But we will find a way hopefully. If not, at least we die trying lol