Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
So this is my first thread in recovery. I'm still not "recovered" but I thought I'd share my experience with what's been helping me. I wouldn't recommend this option for everyone but it's something to consider.

So I've recently decided to throw all caution in life to the wind. Basically do everything in my power to pursue one last shot at this thing called life. I've stopped caring about any and all repercussions in life unless it would hurt someone else.

I figured what's the worst thing that can happen to me, I die? I was planning to die anyways. I've been doing and saying things that are way out of character for me. Basically just living a completely opposite lifestyle to what I was accustomed to.

To be honest it's actually been working rather well for me. Things are starting to turn back around in my favor pretty quickly. I've been happier then I've been in a while and I think I'm going to continue down this path now.

I always have the solace and peace of mind in knowing that I can CTB at anytime. So I'm going to now wait until my life can't possibly get any worse before I act on ending it.
 
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A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,441
"Start YOUR day with Fuckitol!
Fuckitol - nine out of ten psychiatrists agree - the best thing since sliced bread!
Buy at your pharmacy today!"
<Catchy jingle>
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
"Start YOUR day with Fuckitol!
Fuckitol - nine out of ten psychiatrists agree - the best thing since sliced bread!
Buy at your pharmacy today!"
<Catchy jingle>

This one gets it! Thank you friend. It's been pretty fun to be honest. Almost like when you play a video game with the cheat codes for the first time. Definitely a rush and I can't see myself going back even when things stabilize again.
 
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A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,441
This one gets it! Thank you friend. It's been pretty fun to be honest. Almost like when you play a video game with the cheat codes for the first time. Definitely a rush and I can't see myself going back even when things stabilize again.
I'm kinda envious, I admit. My stuff isn't here yet. Meto, specifically.
Before I finally finish my shit, I can't allow myself to lose my shit like this.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I'm kinda envious, I admit. My stuff isn't here yet. Meto, specifically.
Before I finally finish my shit, I can't allow myself to lose my shit like this.

I've got the full SN deluxe kit. Two servings on standby. One is burried in a field so no one will find it but me. I've not lost my shit per say, but definitely fuckit as you said. It seems to be working for me anyways.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
So this is my first thread in recovery. I'm still not "recovered" but I thought I'd share my experience with what's been helping me. I wouldn't recommend this option for everyone but it's something to consider.

So I've recently decided to throw all caution in life to the wind. Basically do everything in my power to pursue one last shot at this thing called life. I've stopped caring about any and all repercussions in life unless it would hurt someone else.

I figured what's the worst thing that can happen to me, I die? I was planning to die anyways. I've been doing and saying things that are way out of character for me. Basically just living a completely opposite lifestyle to what I was accustomed to.

To be honest it's actually been working rather well for me. Things are starting to turn back around in my favor pretty quickly. I've been happier then I've been in a while and I think I'm going to continue down this path now.

I always have the solace and peace of mind in knowing that I can CTB at anytime. So I'm going to now wait until my life can't possibly get any worse before I act on ending it.

I definitely think you're on to something here. I'm not in a position where I can do exactly that, but I've noticed that the less I care about what's going to happen, the easier it is to cope.
 
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SlackJim

SlackJim

Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost
Sep 30, 2019
226
any examples of the kind of things you're saying and doing that are out of character? I can relate for sure, the "CTB safety net" is a nice thing to have, even if it takes reaching rock bottom to see it like that. Made me think of "Fake it til you make it" --> wise words!!
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I definitely think you're on to something here. I'm not in a position where I can do exactly that, but I've noticed that the less I care about what's going to happen, the easier it is to cope.

It's true man, but you can't have any worries. You have to let all of your preconceived notions go and just roll with whatever would make you happy.

any examples of the kind of things you're saying and doing that are out of character? I can relate for sure, the "CTB safety net" is a nice thing to have, even if it takes reaching rock bottom to see it like that. Made me think of "Fake it til you make it" --> wise words!!

Not really faking it as much as just doing what would normally hold you back. Faking it would be what I was doing by not acting on my impulses.

Some examples I've had personally would be telling co workers how much they suck at their job, because well, they do. That made a difference in their performance. I asked for a raise and got one as well at work. I asked out a woman I would've never asked out about a week ago and I've been sleeping at her house regularly now.

I've had some other minor victories so far. But those are the biggest ones within the past week or so. Each time my anxiety tried to kick in and I just completely ignored it.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
It's true man, but you can't have any worries. You have to let all of your preconceived notions go and just roll with whatever would make you happy.

I envy you. I can do that to a degree, probably a higher degree than most, but I can't go all-in.

Some examples I've had personally would be telling co workers how much they suck at their job, because well, they do. That made a difference in their performance. I asked for a raise and got one as well at work. I asked out a woman I would've never asked out about a week ago and I've been sleeping at her house regularly now.

I've had some other minor victories so far. But those are the biggest ones within the past week or so. Each time my anxiety tried to kick in and I just completely ignored it.

Way to go! You're an inspiration to us all.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
Bumping this thread because this method is still providing alot of results for me. I've made leaps and bounds in the last month that would've taken me years, if ever, to accomplish otherwise.
 
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BrokenHopes

BrokenHopes

What doesn't kill you, f*cks you up.
Nov 27, 2019
162
Heres for you guys.

Ae37fce90999c75a8547c21477f26605
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158

If I tripple the recommended dose will I die? Should I take meto with it? Should I fast and or how much water should I take it with? How does it interact with other drugs?

Edit to add: This particular post was obviously a joke in the larger subject matter. A joke in the spirit of a departed friend of us all. But I still stand behind this method of recovery.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,797
I lived in precarious times and I was rather apathetic towards life and it's events, activities, if that resembles what you meant by "Wreckless Abandon". Anyway, when I lived that way, I steeled my heart and mind for death and I did experience a surge of courage (yet with some fear, probably due to SI knowing that a lot is at stake) and feel even more committed to seeing it through. It's basically like a life or death event for me (if I succeed in x, then I'll live, but if I fail in x, then I'll CTB. 'x' in this case is 'getting laid (a.k.a losing virginity, having sexual intercourse)).

There has been many times in my life and many other instances similar to this one but in different times in life and different contexts.

@BrokenHopes I like the picture, it's nice. :)
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I lived in precarious times and I was rather apathetic towards life and it's events, activities, if that resembles what you meant by "Wreckless Abandon". Anyway, when I lived that way, I steeled my heart and mind for death and I did experience a surge of courage (yet with some fear, probably due to SI knowing that a lot is at stake) and feel even more committed to seeing it through. It's basically like a life or death event for me (if I succeed in x, then I'll live, but if I fail in x, then I'll CTB. 'x' in this case is 'getting laid (a.k.a losing virginity, having sexual intercourse)).

There has been many times in my life and many other instances similar to this one but in different times in life and different contexts.

@BrokenHopes I like the picture, it's nice. :)

You've pretty much got it to an extent. You've got to let all of the fear of failure go entirely though. Let go of any anxiety or anything else that could be holding you back as well.

I think I'm just pushing it on all aspects really. I'm not afraid of death although I never really was. However, I've accepted it more to some extent. So whether I succeed or fail in this endeavor ultimately doesn't matter all that much me.

Time will tell I suppose. But again it seems to be working for me so far. Maybe I'll crash and burn tomorrow or the day after though. I guess that's part of the fun too, is just not knowing. As they say at the casino "all in!" and "let it ride!"
 
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Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
530
I definitely think you're on to something here. I'm not in a position where I can do exactly that, but I've noticed that the less I care about what's going to happen, the easier it is to cope.
Absolutely! That's actually my self treatment. It works.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
Absolutely! That's actually my self treatment. It works.

I've had a few ups and downs with this method, but generally having more success then failure. I'm glad to hear it's working for you too!
 
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Ghosted

I was never really here.
Nov 22, 2019
92
Can I take Damnitall and fukitall together or is that like dividing by 0?
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
Can I take Damnitall and fukitall together or is that like dividing by 0?

Only if you're on a strict 48-72hr anti-emetic regimen and you take anti acids before the stat dose.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
It's little known, but fukitol can also be injected. Then it travels directly to the brain and knocks out anxiety and depression centers, and you can say bye-bye to life as you know it.
 
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1DayItWillBover

1DayItWillBover

Student
Dec 21, 2019
148
a great man once said.. you only live once.. that great man was Drake.

*runs*
 
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Forest Fire

Forest Fire

Student
Jul 19, 2019
118
I'm doing this for my new years resolution. Thanks for the inspiration!
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I'm doing this for my new years resolution. Thanks for the inspiration!

Anytime, lemme know how it works for you! It's still working for me because I'm still here.
 
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Moonicide

Moonicide

ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
Nov 19, 2019
802
I'm glad things are slowly starting to look up for you, love. I am so happy for you and I hope it continues to get better for you as you are very deserving of that. Having that option to ctb is always comforting and honestly, as my final days get nearer and nearer... I feel like I've been doing so much more with my time. We'll be here to listen and cheer you on! As well as provide you with a shoulder to lean on.

Sending you all of my love and support. :heart:
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
[...] as my final days get nearer and nearer... I feel like I've been doing so much more with my time.

Maybe that's the trick? To think "Tomorrow I'll do it!" so we can live every day to its fullest.
 
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Moonicide

Moonicide

ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
Nov 19, 2019
802
Maybe that's the trick? To think "Tomorrow I'll do it!" so we can live every day to its fullest.
Maybe! It could definitely work for some people. I think it's a good mindset to have and if it's possible for people to live that way, then I'm all for it. Having that option to continue on with life, but also have the option to ctb at any given time if shit hits the fan can be comforting for many people and I'm glad that the people that do, have something solid they can hold onto. :heart:
 
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