Wound up in the Funny Farm

[ihatethisplanet]

When my husband made it crystal clear that the marriage was over, I had some kind of breakdown, and consulted my manual about the way I was planning to CTB. Turns out it was more complicated than it seemed. Before I knew it, I was babbling to my therapist and mom that I can't understand these nitrogen and helium methods, pills won't kill me and I don't know how to get SN or if I could even drink it. I think I really shocked everyone while freely talking about this. I think I was out of my mind.

The place was not half bad, except for the restrictions. I made a good friend there and have since gotten a condo. Still, the thoughts are there daily. The voice telling me to do it (not a real voice - I'm not hallucinating) keeps saying, "Go on, do something."

I want to be gone but I'm a chicken, it's against my faith and I could see the anguish in my parents' eyes and don't think I could do it to them. I did make it clear that if I develop a serious illness, I'm out of here. Next step is to get a will and DNR in place.

All in all, the psych ward wasn't a bad place to be and if it's at all possible, try to go to a private hospital if you are found or lose it like my idiotic self and have to go to a hospital. The public psych ward here is a nightmare.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Yes, I've met some good people in psych wards.
A lot of them should never have been there in the first place.
Being a chicken is perfectly normal when all you want to do is be gone.
Getting affairs in order is always a good thing.

 

[ihatethisplanet]

Yes, I've met some good people in psych wards.
A lot of them should never have been there in the first place.
Being a chicken is perfectly normal when all you want to do is be gone.
Getting affairs in order is always a good thing.

My roommate started talking about how she went out and bought liquor and Tylenol. I immediately warned her against it because she could survive but with a damaged liver and told her about this place. We then started discussing methods. I should have probably roomed alone.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

My roommate started talking about how she went out and bought liquor and Tylenol. I immediately warned her against it because she could survive but with a damaged liver and told her about this place. We then started discussing methods. I should have probably roomed alone.

Yes, overdosing is unreliable and notorious for causing organ damage.
Hope you can find somewhere else to be alone if that's possible.