Discussion Would your best case scenario 'save' you do you think? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

Does anyone feel like they either got what they always wanted or, even if they did get what they always wanted, they might still not be happy? Sometimes, I wonder if that's the ultimate test. Like- if you're still not happy after getting what you wanted (pretty much,) where else is there left to go?

Someone asked me what my ideal job would be the other day. At one point, I would have been ecstatic that someone might actually consider paying me to do the thing I wanted to do the most. Maybe it's because I know that isn't realistic. But, I suppose I thought- I've actually kind of got what I wanted but now, I'm simply tired of all of it and I just want out.

Maybe it's because the very best case scenario often isn't exactly feasible. You may get your dream job but you have to work all hours to keep it. You may fall in love but they might be with someone else. Maybe it's because life rarely goes entirely to plan. Even the really good things in life carry problems and you just start to think- I can't be arsed with any of this anymore!

Does your level headedness or pessimism/ cynicism stop you from running away with 'best case' scenarios? Do yours actually seem feasible? I suppose it's the not being sure that plays a part in keeping people here. I feel like I'm pretty sure that my best case scenario would bring with it too many other problems for me to be happy.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'd still want to be dead even if I had the best case scenario since my issue would still be with existence itself and how suffering is inherent to existence

 

[TAW122]

Even if I had the best case scenario, I don't think (at least in the long run) I would just stick around. Maybe I'll hold on a little bit longer, but it all depends on the situation and there are many factors that go into it. I know I will never relinquish the right to die as an option for as long as there are possibilities for endless (and senseless) suffering, be it natural causes, old age, disease, debility, and infirmity. Maybe in the short to mid term if I "got what I really wanted and succeeded, aka fulfilling my goals or something", then I might stick around a bit longer, but long term (years or decades) into the future, most likely not.

 

[DrinkyCrow]

Winning the lottery.

Would at least put it away for a while until i burned through all that money.

Or i could die like god intended, on a sailboat somewhere in the middle of the ocean or overdosing on fancy designer drugs.

 

[Reflection]

Yes, it would be like a flip of a switch. Although it's not entirely within my control, so I can only do so much to try and make it easier to happen.

 

[-Link-]

I can't think of anything external that would save me.

Be it other people, money, material objects, environmental changes -- even with the best of intentions, these things cannot make up for the fact that my problems are all internal.

The only thing keeping me going in life is the emotional and mental support from my family.

Unless my parents can somehow find everlasting life, I have a very big problem coming my way at some point because I just don't see myself being able to survive without them.

 

[Unspoken7612]

If everything had always gone my way, I would still have suicidal thoughts but they would be empty, weightless, and easy to manage. I wouldn't be seriously contemplating ending my life.

That said, I think if things had gone the way I always imagined I wanted them to go, I'd have found out that I didn't actually want them to go that way, especially with regards to romance.

 

[JustAnx]

Yes, but (stuff)

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Nope, my hedonic treadmill is never-ending baby.

 

[Tombs_in_your_eyes]

External factors would definitely save me. I was a chronically suicidal teenager/early 20s, due to internal factors that, thankfully, resolved around the time I graduated. I then had many years of having no suicidal feelings at all, despite severe physical disability, because I had wonderful emotional support. Although I was growing increasingly anxious about the people providing that support dying.

Then along came a terminal diagnosis for one of them... And now I'm about as suicidal as could be.

Unless my parents can somehow find everlasting life, I have a very big problem coming my way at some point because I just don't see myself being able to survive without them.

I am living my version of this problem right now... it is my very worst nightmare. I hope your parents remain around and in good health well into old age.

 

[WholeHereafter]

I'm not sure if it's realistic, but yes, if there was a way to cure my illness and I could experience health again, I would not feel this way.

 

[affirmatice]

The best scenario is happiness. Technically, that's almost always possible. Whether or not it's realistic is a whole other question.

So for me it's unsure. Nothing could give me back what I lost. So can I eventually reach a point of acceptance and happiness? To me right now it seems extremely unlikely. But like I said, theoretically, it could happen

 

[We Are Angels]

At this point, my best case scenario would involve a Dues Ex Machina, like my fairy godmother showing up and waving my problems away. Not happening.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Like- if you're still not happy after getting what you wanted (pretty much,) where else is there left to go?

I think this is my case exactly.
Assuming that the best case scenario is only related to things I have control over, then I'm already living that best case scenario and it didn't cure me.

If the best case scenario isn't tied to what's in my control, then I think it would need to rewrite history. Kind of similar to Flash point, going back in time and preventing my mother's death. That's the point from when all my problems started. But who knows if I'd be happy, who knows where I'd be at this age in that timeline.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think this is my case exactly.
Assuming that the best case scenario is only related to things I have control over, then I'm already living that best case scenario and it didn't cure me.

If the best case scenario isn't tied to what's in my control, then I think it would need to rewrite history. Kind of similar to Flash point, going back in time and preventing my mother's death. That's the point from when all my problems started. But who knows if I'd be happy, who knows where I'd be at this age in that timeline.

Yes- I feel exactly this too. It's like- working within the realms of possibility- even probability, there's a lot less hope.

I suppose that's the problem I have with pro-life notions of life. Yes- life can be amazing for some people. But- look at the life in question. What stuff has happened or is happening to them that really doesn't have an adequate cure- to their standards- they have to live it after all. If/ when you can't find that adequate cure- because I expect they've already spent time and energy looking for it, we're left with- 'Well, everybody suffers'- so basically- put up with it.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Yes- I feel exactly this too. It's like- working within the realms of possibility- even probability, there's a lot less hope.

I suppose that's the problem I have with pro-life notions of life. Yes- life can be amazing for some people. But- look at the life in question. What stuff has happened or is happening to them that really doesn't have an adequate cure- to their standards- they have to live it after all. If/ when you can't find that adequate cure- because I expect they've already spent time and energy looking for it, we're left with- 'Well, everybody suffers'- so basically- put up with it.

Even my cousin who is Bipolar and should understand better than anyone, went on a tangent of telling me the horrible things she went through so I'd feel better that my life is better than her.

It's like people can only cope by thinking that others are suffering worse therefore their life is now good in comparison. That doesn't work with me, my expectations of life aren't that mediocre, if I'm alive I want to be happy, I don't want to constantly be unhappy and rationalise my way into continue to live, that isn't a life worth living to me.

People accept terrible lives so easily...I see that in my own father, he is depressed but doesn't admit it. Says that he is old so nothing will making him that happy or surprised anymore and that's normal, that is aging! Ffs... his house is pure filth because he doesn't clean anything, he doesn't even cook food unless someone else is there. It's ironic how in the past he would get so angry at me for not cleaning my room, not wanting to cook, because I was depressed, but now that it is him showing the exact same symptoms but worse, that suddenly he didn't notice that the house was dirty or whatever. The walls are yellowed, there's black mold on a lot of things, that's how dirty things are. Not even at the peak of my depression I let my environment get to that point but I digress...

Life could be very different but, I guess in my heart, I feel like it wouldn't matter that much. Maybe it's just my pessimism after more than a decade of suffering, but I feel like even if Flash point happened for me, I'd still be struggling. I know my life was tragic from an early age but there's so many mentally ill history in my family that I feel like this depression is genetic in a way.

If I could live Flash point, I wouldn't want to retain the memories of this life. I know I'd grieve some things I had in this life.

 

[Hyperion_1884]

Does anyone feel like they either got what they always wanted or, even if they did get what they always wanted, they might still not be happy? Sometimes, I wonder if that's the ultimate test. Like- if you're still not happy after getting what you wanted (pretty much,) where else is there left to go?

Someone asked me what my ideal job would be the other day. At one point, I would have been ecstatic that someone might actually consider paying me to do the thing I wanted to do the most. Maybe it's because I know that isn't realistic. But, I suppose I thought- I've actually kind of got what I wanted but now, I'm simply tired of all of it and I just want out.

Maybe it's because the very best case scenario often isn't exactly feasible. You may get your dream job but you have to work all hours to keep it. You may fall in love but they might be with someone else. Maybe it's because life rarely goes entirely to plan. Even the really good things in life carry problems and you just start to think- I can't be arsed with any of this anymore!

Does your level headedness or pessimism/ cynicism stop you from running away with 'best case' scenarios? Do yours actually seem feasible? I suppose it's the not being sure that plays a part in keeping people here. I feel like I'm pretty sure that my best case scenario would bring with it too many other problems for me to be happy.

It's a good question. I don't think I ever wanted to be happy, not in the most basic sense of the word, — that being the short lasting ecstatic sensation in your spine as you fail to contain your excitement, — I'm not even asking for a reason to wake up with a smile in my face in the morning, but if my 'best case scenario' where to be, I'm quite sure I'd want to stick around for much longer, not to chase that feeling of happiness, but to witness things, to learn and express things that have not names, all of it without feeling alienated by my body, without feeling like I'm constantly burning in an invisible flame at every waking moment if you know what I mean, I doubt the exhaustion, the frustration and even the loneliness would carry as much weight then as they do now, I'd be cool with the boredom then, with the emptiness or whatever else comes with it, after all I have been for a long time now, it's just the alienation that I can't sit with, the disgust and the repulsion, and if it were somehow gone which I know for a fact it never will, I'd be fine with it.

Does anyone feel like they either got what they always wanted or, even if they did get what they always wanted, they might still not be happy? Sometimes, I wonder if that's the ultimate test. Like- if you're still not happy after getting what you wanted (pretty much,) where else is there left to go?

Someone asked me what my ideal job would be the other day. At one point, I would have been ecstatic that someone might actually consider paying me to do the thing I wanted to do the most. Maybe it's because I know that isn't realistic. But, I suppose I thought- I've actually kind of got what I wanted but now, I'm simply tired of all of it and I just want out.

Maybe it's because the very best case scenario often isn't exactly feasible. You may get your dream job but you have to work all hours to keep it. You may fall in love but they might be with someone else. Maybe it's because life rarely goes entirely to plan. Even the really good things in life carry problems and you just start to think- I can't be arsed with any of this anymore!

Does your level headedness or pessimism/ cynicism stop you from running away with 'best case' scenarios? Do yours actually seem feasible? I suppose it's the not being sure that plays a part in keeping people here. I feel like I'm pretty sure that my best case scenario would bring with it too many other problems for me to be happy.

It's a good question. I don't think I ever wanted to be happy, not in the most basic sense of the word, — that being the short lasting ecstatic sensation in your spine as you fail to contain your excitement, — I'm not even asking for a reason to wake up with a smile in my face in the morning, but if my 'best case scenario' where to be, I'm quite sure I'd want to stick around for much longer, not to chase that feeling of happiness, but to witness things, to learn and express things that have not names, all of it without feeling alienated by my body, without feeling like I'm constantly burning in an invisible flame at every waking moment if you know what I mean, I doubt the exhaustion, the frustration and even the loneliness would carry as much weight then as they do now, I'd be cool with the boredom then, with the emptiness or whatever else comes with it, after all I have been for a long time now, it's just the alienation that I can't sit with, the disgust and the repulsion, and if it were somehow gone which I know for a fact it never will, I'd be fine with it.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

For me it will, because it has to. If it doesn't then I can at least say for sure that it didn't work but until I experience it I won't accept anything else.

 

[Forever Sleep]

For me it will, because it has to. If it doesn't then I can at least say for sure that it didn't work but until I experience it I won't accept anything else.

I really hope you do get your wish and it's all you hope for.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

Sure, if I can be 100% recovered from my eating disorder (both mentally and physically) and from PTSD

 

[jar-baby]

It just feels that as much as I don't want it to be, I'm irrevocably and fundamentally damaged in some way. So my best case scenario would be not being this way, but that feels... actually impossible. Even a hypothetical scenario in which I'm not this way seems, like, metaphysically impossible. Impossible to truly conceive of. So I voted unsure.

 

[CogitoMori]

My best case scenario would be the only person that ever made me feel like a human talking to me, but they won't and I don't know what I did to make them hate me.

 

[Chaosire]

I had my best scenario give me a good year so.
I've done what I've wanted to do in life, during that time, now I'm waiting for that sweet release.

 

[ThisGameIsOverrated]

I just dislike the nature of life it's so unpredictable and unfair

 

[alltoomuch2]

Yes, but only if my best case scenario would be that I suddenly discovered I had some weird illness that made you fat, ugly, autistic, impossible to like, socially inept to the point where you make everyone feel worse no matter how hard you try, and also discovered that the illness could be treated so you became a good person who everyone wanted to be around and helped others so much they were always pleased to see you. But I'm gambling that this best case scenario isn't going to happen. So off I'm going to pop once my dog no longer needs me to look after her, and after my mental health team show that they can't make things any better. I long for the peace and lack of obligations that ctb offers.