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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,393
For me it does not seem like a good deal.

I think about such things because I have bipolar and used benzos to cope. Mania and benzos can make you feel good for a short amount of time. But they will have disastrous effects on your longterm health.

I am really not sure whether it is smart to take benzos again. I quit them in summer 2023 the withdrawal was a nightmare. I did it alone at home with no substitution.
But in dating I might need them to stay calm. It will fuel my demise even more though.

Actually, I fully quit them till the day I tried to attempt taking my SN. I took benzos and realized damn you feel good with them. And I have 40 pills 1 mg lorazepam here. That's way too much.

In the clinic for acute suicidal people I also told them for my own safety not to attempt I will give my benzos to my psychiatrist back. My ass. Lmao.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,957
Actually, I was going to remark this sounded like bipolar.

But, no- I don't much trust it when I do (rarely) feel happy. It makes me nervous that the fall back down will make it feel all the more intense. I'm too regularly miserable and without much motivation/ energy to have bipolar though.

Would you want to be rid of it if you could OP? Stephen Fry did an interview once and said that he probably wouldn't, despite the terrible lows.

I suppose ultimately, we only know what it's like to be ourselves and, the way our brains function can feel intrinsic to our sense of self I suppose. So, similarly, I don't think I'd want to get rid of my pessimistic view on life. I wouldn't really feel like me without it.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,393
Actually, I was going to remark this sounded like bipolar.

But, no- I don't much trust it when I do (rarely) feel happy. It makes me nervous that the fall back down will make it feel all the more intense. I'm too regularly miserable and without much motivation/ energy to have bipolar though.

Would you want to be rid of it if you could OP? Stephen Fry did an interview once and said that he probably wouldn't, despite the terrible lows.

I suppose ultimately, we only know what it's like to be ourselves and, the way our brains function can feel intrinsic to our sense of self I suppose. So, similarly, I don't think I'd want to get rid of my pessimistic view on life. I wouldn't really feel like me without it.
I would like to get rid of it very much, desperately.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,268
With regards to your title, hell no. Pain and pleasure are asymmetrical with the depths of pain being far greater than the heights of pleasure
 
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Aergia

Aergia

Mage
Jun 20, 2023
529
nah. though it's easy to be a utilitarian when you're anhedonic.