Would you hire someone with social anxiety?

[everydayiloveyou]

I've been having a hard time with work and life lately. The other day I was at work and spaced out while helping a customer. My coworker had a line and the store manager had to tell me to get back to the service desk to help her out. I made a lot of other mistakes that day too, and I overheard the managers saying "if I knew how she was I would've gotten rid of her after a month." I honestly think they do this on purpose, I always hear them talk badly about me on days when I'm messing up a lot. Their office is right next to the service desk where I usually work, so I can hear it even with my terrible hearing. I think they think I don't notice since usually I have trouble hearing/seeing. And ofc because of my social anxiety, I don't confront people about these things so it makes them feel more bold, idk.

I joined my school's job placement program so that I could be independent and work through my anxiety, that's how I got the job. But it's still impairing my life, and now that I'm a little older I realize just how little adults care about the effort you make. It doesn't matter that I'm a good student or that I always cover shifts and never call out or fight with customers. My social anxiety still limits everything, it makes me stupid, uncomfortable to be around, and hard to deal with.

I am trying to get another job. I just did my very first Hackerrank yesterday, maybe I'll get an internship this summer and be done with minimum wage. But even for that I feel so hopeless. Like it's not even worth it. I know the worst that could happen is that I get rejected and it won't be a big deal. But do I even have any hope of getting a job and being independent? My social anxiety is so bad that I can't make friends on my own and I always freeze up. Because of my vision impairment, I can't just work in warehouses, drive trucks, or do other solo jobs either. I had a fully online job, but lost it due to COVID causing a shortage in hours.

Realistically, I really don't think anyone would hire me. I can't lie: I don't think I'd like to work with someone like me either. And I've only tried therapy twice but it was pretty useless and even the therapists didn't seem to like dealing with me. I feel like my only options are to work shitty jobs for the rest of my life or figure out how to get on disability, and neither option is appealing to me. Or just ctb and be out of this misery. I'm getting my final medical exam for life insurance very soon so I've got 2 years to change.

If anyone else with social anxiety/depression has any advice or anything I'd appreciate it! And of course some discussion on this topic in general. I think it's so weird how society shames people for having an obvious mental illness, and then basically shoves them away from improving their lives. You need to be perfect to survive. I know that's the reality of the world, but it still hurts. I do enjoy life to a degree, but these barriers make me feel like ctb is my only way out from the pain of it all.

 

[goodbyebunny]

Hey, you're not alone. Your coworkers are being quite cruel to talk about you that way. You never asked to have these struggles, and you aren't to blame for them. You're worthwhile. On the topic of hackerrank, that's coding, right? Similar to leetcode? I'm in computer science. I think it's a great path to go down if you need a job that is remote/online. You could teach yourself with (free) online courses and then go freelance in web development for example. Anyway, you're not alone. We're here for you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

As someone that's going to open my own business I would say yes. Of course, not to impose on privacy but, I would like it if they informed me. If someone has a medical problem, physical or mental, I would do my best to work within that for them and help them out.

Idk maybe I'm just nice but you did ask what I would do, not others.

 

[Emily_Numb]

I would hire someone with social anxiety in a non customer facing role, for sure. But they would have to get through the interview process first. If you interviewed poorly and struggled to even communicate with me then no, I wouldn't hire you.

I employ around 50 staff. I've interviewed and have hired all sorts of people over the past 15 years. It's just about you finding the right sort of work environment to meet your needs and plays to your strengths. Stop trying to work in jobs that make you so awkward and uncomfortable! You will not thrive in that environment.

Many people prefer to work alone instead of part of a team. There's nothing wrong with that. Some jobs require it.

 

[itachi of death]

Those people are Jerks for having that mindset about you,thats really unprofessional and sickening when I hear or am around people like that,this book called The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog helped me alot and I would suggest maybe a good psychologist or psychology books,I have the same problems and its helped alittle ,I hope everything gets better for you,were here for you and your not alone.

 

[shy]

I've worked several places, before I went back to uni. It's not easy to work most jobs while having social anxiety. Dealing with costumers, I had to mask my fear in each and every interaction, but physical symptoms like shaking hands were impossible to hide.

You're working and you're facing your anxiety, which is no small feat. You're still working even though your superiors are mean and talk about you behind your back. You gotta be a strong person to endure that. No matter what happens at that job, you can be proud of yourself!

Not every job is a great fit for a socially anxious person, but I think anxious people would be really valuable in a lot of positions. Being constantly worried about if you are doing things right, makes you more introspective and double check your work, to ensure you did it properly. That's at least how I tried to cope with the constant fear of making mistakes. Smaller work environments worked well for me, since it was easy to get accustomed to the few people working there.

 

[KClown]

Hey there. Answering your main question: It depends. Many factors are to be counted upon, but it is fairly straight forward.

In general your personality, as well as your social skills matter less the more competent and experienced you are at your job. Large and medium companies hire workers by simple procces of elimination (Going into details would probobly be off topic). Your personality is the last (but not least) thing they are interested in. (However when it comes to jobs that require you to work with customers, personality is to be considered a vital part of your job skills, and therefore needs to fall under certain criteria for you to pass job interview/application)
When it comes to minimum wage jobs it all becomes about quantity. Considering almost non existant minimum knowlege and experience required to be competent at those jobs, employers tend to hire the "first to answer the call" (Ofcource workers with more experience are still prefereble), or simply the ones more to their liking. So it might take a few rejected applications and failed interviews before you finally get hired (Which you 100% will if you try hard enough)

This question is bluntly overestimating human society, employers WILL hire you, just like they would anybody, simply because your pesonality, as I said, is the last thing they care about.

Now staying at the job is another thing. I dont have enough intel on your case of social anxiety to say for sure, but undeniably, if your personality STRONGLY affects your effectiveness as a worker in a negative way, no matter how good you can theoretically be at that job, you will eventually get fired and replaced, its nothing new, cold facts.

There are exeptions in what I said, but I found them rather insignificant to mention in this reply.

Off the topic, I dont have a case of social anxiety, quite the opposite actually, so I am afraid I cannot even comprehend the difficulties you face everyday. Still, when it comes to work I sirincely hope you find something you truly enjoy (If you aready havent). Working a job that brings you most joy and little to no discomfort is truly the one of few things that numbs the pain of being alive.

And remember, no job is permanent and final. You work, study, get experienced, git gud. Move to the one where you get a bigger paycheck, or a bigger smile. Repeat.

Wish you luck. Cheers.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Hey, you're not alone. Your coworkers are being quite cruel to talk about you that way. You never asked to have these struggles, and you aren't to blame for them. You're worthwhile. On the topic of hackerrank, that's coding, right? Similar to leetcode? I'm in computer science. I think it's a great path to go down if you need a job that is remote/online. You could teach yourself with (free) online courses and then go freelance in web development for example. Anyway, you're not alone. We're here for you.

Yeah it's like Leetcode. I'm a junior studying comp sci too! Remote work definitely appeals to me, though I'd prefer to go out and work with others, since at the root of it all I genuinely like being around others, being helpful, and collaborating. I also can't really do the whole networking/personal branding thing because of my anxiety unfortunately, so idk how well freelance would work for me. But I'm doing my best to study hard and learn the more practical stuff now so that the option of remote work is available to me later. Thanks for the support, it really means a lot.

Hey there. Answering your main question: It depends. Many factors are to be counted upon, but it is fairly straight forward.

In general your personality, as well as your social skills matter less the more competent and experienced you are at your job. Large and medium companies hire workers by simple procces of elimination (Going into details would probobly be off topic). Your personality is the last (but not least) thing they are interested in. (However when it comes to jobs that require you to work with customers, personality is to be considered a vital part of your job skills, and therefore needs to fall under certain criteria for you to pass job interview/application)
When it comes to minimum wage jobs it all becomes about quantity. Considering almost non existant minimum knowlege and experience required to be competent at those jobs, employers tend to hire the "first to answer the call" (Ofcource workers with more experience are still prefereble), or simply the ones more to their liking. So it might take a few rejected applications and failed interviews before you finally get hired (Which you 100% will if you try hard enough)

This question is bluntly overestimating human society, employers WILL hire you, just like they would anybody, simply because your pesonality, as I said, is the last thing they care about.

Now staying at the job is another thing. I dont have enough intel on your case of social anxiety to say for sure, but undeniably, if your personality STRONGLY affects your effectiveness as a worker in a negative way, no matter how good you can theoretically be at that job, you will eventually get fired and replaced, its nothing new, cold facts.

There are exeptions in what I said, but I found them rather insignificant to mention in this reply.

Off the topic, I dont have a case of social anxiety, quite the opposite actually, so I am afraid I cannot even comprehend the difficulties you face everyday. Still, when it comes to work I sirincely hope you find something you truly enjoy (If you aready havent). Working a job that brings you most joy and little to no discomfort is truly the one of few things that numbs the pain of being alive.

And remember, no job is permanent and final. You work, study, get experienced, git gud. Move to the one where you get a bigger paycheck, or a bigger smile. Repeat.

Wish you luck. Cheers.

Thanks for the input! Yeah my other concern, besides getting a job, is staying at it. Somehow I've been at my current job for 3 years now so I'm scared to let it go. I'm in an at-will state so they could've made up anything by now. I've been living with a fear of getting fired for this entire time, but even with all the mistakes I make, nothing happens. I don't even get written up which really shocks me. They could write me up for being a minute late or for typing codes in wrong. Or even just stop scheduling me. I'm sure it'd be very easy to get rid of me, so idk why they always talk like that.

I don't think I'll be so lucky at a different job. Unfortunately your prediction is pretty right, my social anxiety is very debilitating and there's lots of things that are difficult for me that would be no issue for a normal person. I try to be super nice and always ask for help so that I can do things right, but it doesn't make up for how uncomfortable I make people and my inability to bond with others. I understand that for many jobs, any accomodations they might make for this issue are simply unreasonable, and no one is under any legal or personal obligation to tolerate it. So it's simply a business choice to hire someone you don't have to accomodate for, especially in low wage jobs. I'm doing my best to improve my prospects by finishing school, but I'm preparing myself for the possibility that I may never be able to hold a decent job for too long also.

 

[greebo6]

Yes ,I believe in giving someone a chance wherever possible .

 

[KClown]

Its unfortunate to see someone in situation closely resembling mine. Even worse is that I connot offer any valueble advice, since I havent come up with solution myself.

All I can do is wish for you to find strenght to overcome difficulties you might face in the futue. Perhaps one day you might even resolve difficulties associated with your social anxiety.

Best of luck.

 

[Symbiote]

Some organizations have a club called The Toastmasters, it's there for people who want to overcome their fear of talking to others. They help you gear up for presentations, how to interview, how to perform at meetings, etc. It really helped me out with my social anxiety. Also, it helps to not join a work place that acts like one giant fraternity. Those are the worst because everything feels like a party and everyone is in a clique.

 

[Weather]

Of course you can be hired with social anxiety and sight impairment. You just need to find the right job. Easier said than done, I know, but what would you imagine yourself doing in an ideal situation? Perhaps if you can try to visualize that, you can work back toward something that might fit with your interests and comfort level. There are lots of jobs out there that you perhaps haven't even considered. What are some general interests that you have? I mean... customer service? That sounds like torture -- even without social anxiety!

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I'd hire someone with it yes. In the hopes that it would break them of it like my previous work history broke me of it.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

I'd hire someone with it yes. In the hopes that it would break them of it like my previous work history broke me of it.

Haha that works! Working customer service did help a lot with my social anxiety. I used to be completely unable to order food on my own or take the bus, but nowadays I'm much more independent. I think I don't do too badly with short social interactions anymore, but it's still super bad with coworkers/repeat customers. And authority figures are the worst. I can't even say hi to them most of the time, idk if that aspect will ever get better.

How was your case of social anxiety, if you don't mind me asking? Did you have it for a long time? And which job helped you out of it?

Of course you can be hired with social anxiety and sight impairment. You just need to find the right job. Easier said than done, I know, but what would you imagine yourself doing in an ideal situation? Perhaps if you can try to visualize that, you can work back toward something that might fit with your interests and comfort level. There are lots of jobs out there that you perhaps haven't even considered. What are some general interests that you have? I mean... customer service? That sounds like torture -- even without social anxiety!

I know right! I was placed into my job by my teacher lol so I didn't really have any say in it. I hear you, my parents say the same thing to me. I tend to like social and precise jobs though, like my original dream job as a kid was to be an animator, which requires lots of networking in order to get noticed. Then I considered medicine, but it's probably better if I'm not responsible for sticking things into people or reading data accurately ASAP, lol. I'm studying computer science so I'm hoping and praying that it's the right balance for me and that something software or IT-related is my light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Haha that works! Working customer service did help a lot with my social anxiety. I used to be completely unable to order food on my own or take the bus, but nowadays I'm much more independent. I think I don't do too badly with short social interactions anymore, but it's still super bad with coworkers/repeat customers. And authority figures are the worst. I can't even say hi to them most of the time, idk if that aspect will ever get better.

How was your case of social anxiety, if you don't mind me asking? Did you have it for a long time? And which job helped you out of it?

My social anxiety was fairly high growing up and even into early adulthood. I ended up getting a job at the most popular convenience store in the "ghetto." I had to learn to hold my own very quickly, so I did.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I've suffered social anxiety my entire life. Never would I have been able to have worked in a retail environment, so congratulations for giving it a go and making it this far!

I suggest pursuing your next employment opportunity along the lines of something that might be more conducive for social anxiety similar to your prior positions.

There are endless opportunities that are less socially interactive compared to retail positions! Keep looking proactively. You'll find something that works for you.

Since you mentioned you're in school, make sure you have a clear vision concerning what you're studying and how your anxiety will interplay with the field of work you will ultimately pursue.

Good luck!

 

[woxihuanni]

I could. I would never hire a cunt who makes snide remarks or whatever bullying. I don't care how 'good' somebody is, would never let cunts earn a single fucking penny from me.

 

[DJJE]

It seems to be an issue with people in there mid-20's and late teens.

The problem I think is there's not enough face to face conversation anymore. There's not as many conversation on the phone either.

I used to be crippling shy. I still am on personal issues. The key think that most people feel the same way but want someone to talk to.

Try calling friends/workmates/customer services instead of texting, and then meeting up rather than calling. Try asking people in shops how they are (they'll like it). And remember, if they are an arsehole, that's there problem, not yours.

 

[WhiteDespair]

I have poor self esteem and self confidence. I've supported people from interns to C-level. I've even asked them questions. I'm kinda ballsy.

I still bluff my way through social interactions.

I still have trouble with socialization.

I think self esteem and self confidence are required for social interactions and you may find yourself doing better when those improve.

And, bluff when you're not.

 

[netrezven]

i don't know about anxiaty, but being sociopath is one of the main requirements for someone to work with me. I never use "work for me" with such people, cause it's simply imposible. And i respect that.