Would you describe past suicide attempts as traumatic?

[Rustysoupcan]

Just wondering of anyone considers their past attempts as being traumatic, and why or why not. I've had 3 attempts and I would say the most recent on was traumatic. It was 4 months ago and I'm just now realizing it was actually trauma. I dont know how, but the way I think about it or talk about it or act around things that remind me of it make me think it was trauma for me. Idk tho. Maybe I'm just dramatic.

So basically I'm wondering if others feel like their past attempts were traumatic for them, seeking some validation I guess.

 

[BeyondGoodNEvil]

i cant say if it was traumatic but my last attempt made me sick down to the core i dont want to recall it
in my experience people who are truly traumatized dont want to talk about it, not even mention it

 

[Pure]

I've never had any real attempts. I call them gestures. But I don't like to talk about them. My last gesture left me involuntarily committed and I still wouldn't talk about it then or in subsequent therapy.

It's traumatic in two senses. 1) I feel so disgusted with myself 2) I nearly have a panic attack anytime I'm near a bridge. So I don't talk about it.

 

[Rhaiyne]

I'm not so sure if mine would be classed as traumatic bit when I made an attempt, I was left in a coma on life support for 5 days. When I started breathing on my own, I tried pulling the pipes out of my throat - apparently a natural reaction. However, it was decided that I wasn't strong enough to breathe on my own yet and they were not going to take me off life support. What they did think was that I was trying to ensure i died. When I did wake from the coma, my hands were tied to the bed, which freaked me out and for a while, I didn't even know where I was.
After I awoke properly and life support was removed from me, I was told to voluntarily admit myself to a psychiatric hospital. There wasn't a choice. It was do that or we can have you admitted. It was horrific. And they wanted to know why I was angry. Hhmmppfff....
Yeah, I believe the whole thing was traumatic for me.
I still think about this a lot.

 

[Pure]

I'm not so sure if mine would be classed as traumatic bit when I made an attempt, I was left in a coma on life support for 5 days. When I started breathing on my own, I tried pulling the pipes out of my throat - apparently a natural reaction. However, it was decided that I wasn't strong enough to breathe on my own yet and they were not going to take me off life support. What they did think was that I was trying to ensure i died. When I did wake from the coma, my hands were tied to the bed, which freaked me out and for a while, I didn't even know where I was.
After I awoke properly and life support was removed from me, I was told to voluntarily admit myself to a psychiatric hospital. There wasn't a choice. It was do that or we can have you admitted. It was horrific. And they wanted to know why I was angry. Hhmmppfff....
Yeah, I believe the whole thing was traumatic for me.
I still think about this a lot.

Do you have any long term issues?

 

[Rhaiyne]

Apparently I have scarring on my lungs from the meds I took... but other than that... I don't think so.

 

[Pure]

Apparently I have scarring on my lungs from the meds I took... but other than that... I don't think so.

Which meds if you don't mind sharing? I'm just very obsessive over possible long term issues I may have if I mess up.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

Hmm no, attempts themselves were not traumatic, but one was after that... Shame what I felt when I woke up in the hospital was horrible. I could only think about how much work everyone had done and in vain because I didn't want to survive. That is something what I don't want to remember and if I need to go close to that building where I was I feel myself anxious and I prefer not to go.

 

[Rhaiyne]

Which meds if you don't mind sharing? I'm just very obsessive over possible long term issues I may have if I mess up.

I don't remember individual name but they were beta blockers.

 

[Pure]

I don't remember individual name but they were beta blockers.

Thanks for sharing

 

[Bedrock48]

Yeah, I'd say they were traumatic. Especially my latest one which was probably the closest I've gotten. I talk about it because I'm pretty open talking about mh in general but I've blocked our a lot of it from my mind. The stuff I do remember is painful if I think about it too long.

 

[Sisyphus]

I would even say suicidal ideation is traumatic. It's like having a madman in your head constantly threatening to kill you.

 

[livinginthepast]

Yes, the psych ward was not my finest time to say the least

 

[MagentaScorpio]

I think that my first attempt was quite dramatic, since I was cutting then and tried to ctb that way... However my family quickly discovered that and they forced me to not draw anime for almost year, but I still draw anime and that's how I learned to use incognito mode to search certain things...
Anyway I can't watch any kind of movies that include cutting or the character dies in very messy bloody way... also after that i had a dream where someone was in my house and had cut my throat... My neck tingles in an uncomfortable way, when I see or think of it...

 

[livinginthepast]

I've never had any real attempts. I call them gestures. But I don't like to talk about them. My last gesture left me involuntarily committed and I still wouldn't talk about it then or in subsequent therapy.

It's traumatic in two senses. 1) I feel so disgusted with myself 2) I nearly have a panic attack anytime I'm near a bridge. So I don't talk about it.

You can pm me if you like

 

[LunarPyotr]

I wouldn't say that but honestly I lost consciousness when that one car crashed into me. And I only woke up for short time on the scene of the accident, before the paramedics even loaded me to the ambulance : P

 

[clown_17]

I'm not sure if they actually traumatized me but they were very unpleasant. After one attempt I'd panic everytime I saw an ambulance. When I got my blood taken it reminded me of ivs. It was very unpleasant, but the worst part was having everyone know. Because then you lose all autonomy or independence. I wasn't allowed to leave my hospital room on my own because they thought I'd do something. I was monitored heavily from then on after. That was worse than the attempt itself.

 

[myopybyproxy]

I'm not sure if they actually traumatized me but they were very unpleasant. After one attempt I'd panic everytime I saw an ambulance. When I got my blood taken it reminded me of ivs. It was very unpleasant, but the worst part was having everyone know. Because then you lose all autonomy or independence. I wasn't allowed to leave my hospital room on my own because they thought I'd do something. I was monitored heavily from then on after. That was worse than the attempt itself.

The last few sentences - yep. My attempt itself was fairly milquetoast. Sometimes I romanticise it. But how I was treated afterward was horrid. For three weeks I was watched 24/7, even in the toilet. Then I was dumped in a psych ward for another three weeks and after that a residential facility for seven. Followed by months of more 'treatment' with partial hospitalisation, intensive outpatient, etc.

Remembering how bad it was when I failed only makes me more determined to get it right this time. And to keep my mouth shut. Talking about my feelings and being honest and trusting people is what landed me in trouble. Fuck them all.

 

[Hirokami]

Traumatic? Not really as mine was pathetic and spur-of-the-moment. My mom and gf had a really intense argument, something I couldn't handle as my father passed away around the same time, making my already fragile mind worse. Without even thinking, I nearly overdosed on anti-anxiey medicine. My gf happened to walk in the moment I did this and hit the back of my head, causing me to spit out all of the pills before I had the chance to swallow a single one. Afterwards, she freaked the fuck out and told my mom about it. Luckily, no one called 911 as they got me to calm down. They still kept a careful eye on me for a while, though.