Venting Would you choose to fall asleep and never wake today?

[FuneralCry]

I certainly would, in fact it's what I've always considered as being the most ideal thing, to peacefully pass away in my sleep without going through any kind of dying process or having to think about suicide methods. It just sounds so perfect to me, never waking again and being able to return to the state of non existence where I won't even be aware of the fact that I'm dead.

To wake up and be aware of the fact that I still exist really is such a terrible thing to me, existence is something that is both a burden and is harmful. As well as being useless and unappealing, as long as we stay here we risk experiencing even worse torture so of course I would wish to never wake again to permanently escape from this hellish world where nothing can concern me and I won't have any problems.

I do consider those who no longer exist to be the most fortunate people as I believe there to be no disadvantages to being dead and to die solves everything that is wrong with existing. I find it so comforting the thought of this existence not even being a distant memory and for me it will be like I never existed at all as I simply won't be aware of anything.

I very strongly believe that death is a permanent, dreamless sleep and this is why I see being gone as the only relief, death is freedom from this cruel world and to no longer exist is the only thing that I've ever really wished for. I just despise existing in general and I think that it makes sense to feel in such a way. It's very unfortunate how all those who wish to just pass away in their sleep cannot do so, as I believe that we deserve the option of such a thing after so unfairly being forced into this world in the first place. It's unfortunate how I've managed to exist for this long.

 

[Zegers]

die solves everything

If you are not religious, sometimes this is the solution.

 

[TraurigerClown]

I very strongly believe that death is a permanent, dreamless sleep and this is why I see being gone as the only relief, death is freedom from this cruel world and to no longer exist is the only thing that I've ever really wished for. I just despise existing in general and I think that it makes sense to feel in such a way. It's very unfortunate how all those who wish to just pass away in their sleep cannot do so, as I believe that we deserve the option of such a thing after so unfairly being forced into this world in the first place. It's unfortunate how I've managed to exist for this long.

I remeber when trying to hang myself how this blackness which overtook me as i loosed ground under my feet was soothing and calming. I never felt more peaceful and relaxed! But sadly some bastard found and "rescued" me :/

Falling asleep, if im able too sometimes and never wake up again would be such an relief....just thinking about it makes me smile and the idea of stop existing is just calming my nerves a bit!
Thank you for writing this post, i really feel it

 

[BlazingBob]

For me the worst part about sleep is waking up, that is when I'm lucky enough to sleep at all. With 4 sleep disorders it's far from guaranteed. Just an aside, in the last ten years at least a third of my nights have been sleepless. That's over 1,000 nights

FuneralCry, I always enjoy reading your insightful posts and responses.

 

[bestbefore053121]

Yes, please. It's always so disappointing waking up in the morning. "F*ck, I'm still alive."

 

[Ernest1964]

I would not choose this myself TODAY, but when the day arrives, I am ready.

 

[card1nal]

Falling asleep and never waking up would be my most favored way to ctb. Regardless of how badly I may want to go, I do have a lot of anxious thoughts about death itself that I cannot control. To just fall asleep and suddenly cease to exist would mean not having to go through the anxiety leading up to death, and that is all I want.

However, I wouldn't choose to fall asleep and die now. I'm staying alive to be here for my siblings and best friend, but I would like to go in my sleep when I feel like all my loose ends are tied up.

 

[Hopeliss]

Every time i fall asleep i think about CTB, so yes

 

[valkyrie]

This was something I was terrified of as a kid, because of all the sleep metaphors to do with death. I'd stay up for ages because of the fear of dying.
I'm probably an outlier in this community, but I think I would prefer to be aware that it's the end.

 

[SunnysSunset]

Of course

 

[GreenTree]

That would be a heavenly way to die.

 

[Source Energy]

YES. until today, it wasn't completely definite. now, 100% yes. I keep asking to transition in my sleep, so I don't have to take SN or anything. I feel as I'f falling into an abyss physically, and a painful void in the chest area. Maybe I will. I'll persist in asking to be withdrawn from this world

 

[stermc]

I wish this everyday before going to sleep, so, yep!

 

[yive]

yes, of course. i wish this every day, but so far no luck. so i'll have to do it myself

 

[crimson blue]

Yes

 

[vultureilse]

absolutely yeah thats my biggest dream honestly. i dont like all the planning thats necessary with suicide, having to endlessly research the method to make sure everything goes right, the fear of failing and having to suffer even more, its exhausting. i wish i could just pass away in my sleep without having to worry about all that

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm the odd one out here, I actually wouldn't, i suppose I've been through worse and made it out, and life is okay at the moment. Although a month ago my answer would've been different.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Fuck it. Yes.

 

[moparman97b]

Easiest question ever. YES.

 

[CTB Dream]

Ctb dream

 

[EqualibriumWithin]

absolutely, its already hard enough to get up and function as it is, i would rather quit waking up entirely than waking up with the mental pain i have to suffer through, especially since nobody understands the situation im in, let alone how painful my emotions really are

 

[Ghostofthepast]

I wish it everyday I don't want to be here anymore

 

[Anon1337]

There are things I need to do before I CTB. I don't want to die in 2023. 2025 is ideal.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

For me the worst part about sleep is waking up, that is when I'm lucky enough to sleep at all. With 4 sleep disorders it's far from guaranteed. Just an aside, in the last ten years at least a third of my nights have been sleepless. That's over 1,000 nights

FuneralCry, I always enjoy reading your insightful posts and responses.

I feel you I hardly sleep and when I do it's all nightmares

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes and no. For me- yes- of course. I'd MUCH rather die without suffering. For my family- no. It would be really shitty for them to have to deal with. In some ways- worse I expect than CTB.

If I go now- my Dad will be really upset- even from natural death. He'll worry initially like mad when I don't answer the phone when he next calls. They live hundreds of miles away- so he'd likely need to call the police for a wellfare check. They would need to break down the door to find me rotting somewhere.

Then they'd have the hassle of dealing with all my stuff. I've organised for my solicitor to arrange for a house clearance service and to be the executors but I haven't told him in case it makes him suspicious... Plus, the hassle of maybe identifying the body and arranging the funeral hundreds of miles away.

If I CTB- I'll wait for my Dad to go first (if I can hang on.) I'll be able to prepare the area- putting plastic down, laying out all the information for my solictor, providing access to the place. I can pre-pay for a cremation (no funeral) service. It will only be step and distant relations and friends left then and- while it won't be a pleasant thought for them, we're not particularly close- so- it will be much better that all the aftermath is taken care of.

 

[HayBunny23]

I feel backwards straight on my head the other day on concrete. I just laid still, looking up at the sky for a solid few minutes thinking, "damn, I'm conscious still." The rest of the day I was pretty sick, so I was hoping I had a concussion. I went to bed excited that I *might* just stop breathing. (I knew I wouldn't be that lucky tho)
So yeah.. I'd love to die in my sleep.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Yes.

 

[ilovecats]

Who wouldn't?

 

[tiredone]

Yes. I wish every time i go to sleep.

 

[lukas19]

I remeber when trying to hang myself how this blackness which overtook me as i loosed ground under my feet was soothing and calming. I never felt more peaceful and relaxed! But sadly some bastard found and "rescued" me :/

Falling asleep, if im able too sometimes and never wake up again would be such an relief....just thinking about it makes me smile and the idea of stop existing is just calming my nerves a bit!
Thank you for writing this post, i really feel it

Similar, when i tried partial hanging/blood choke, i thought to myself -this is it, there is no going back, are you sure? And the voice in my head, the same negative voice that for decades that belittles me, dwells on every bad decision, that hates myself, makes me re-live every bad memory, the one has made me stay in my room for years because of anxiety and paranoia, the one that tells me that i will fail and me feeling worse if i even attempt to move out of my comfort zone. The voice that never shuts up, not for every minute, every second what a loser i am ( are odd exceptions) from morning to night. It actually HAD SHUT UP, i felt so much at peace. Every part of my soul shouted out YES YES freedom! (Especially that voice) Unfortunately/fortunately I found out by the bruises on my neck the next morning that the cord i used had stretched and the knots had moved and no longer pressed on my cartoid arteries.
Mixed emotions, intially I was glad to have the fortitude to pull trigger as such (I truly believed that i was going to die) and was still in shock, unsure but then after a few hours later negative feelings and THE VOICE returned.