T
Ta555
Enlightened
- Aug 31, 2021
- 1,317
I know we've had several N goodbye threads in the last couple of months but as with all anonymous things on the internet we can never be 100% sure that these people really passed away and didn't end up alive but worse off.
I've read PPeH, I've read every N thread I can find on here and I'm ready to leave, been making peace with dying for a while now but the idea of becoming paralysed or like chemically lobotomized is scaring the shit out of me and I don't even know if this is possible with N.
Yes, I know I need to be not found, that's fine, I have an 8 hour window where my partner is at work. I also plan on taking it in my office and blocking the door with the armchair I'll be sitting in to make it more difficult to get access. A couple of my family members also know I'm terrified of ending up severely brain damaged or paralysed and said they wouldn't make me live in those conditions. But I'm afraid it's not up to them because if my heart is beating and I'm conscious (but say brain damaged and have the mental capacity of a toddler or something) the hospital won't pull the plug you know?
I'm terrified of failing and never being able to try again.
I'm very skinny and would use one bottle since that's what I have. Please don't say to get another bottle because with money and time that's not possible for me. I also know that @sunnybird and voiddesirer22 used one bottle and I'm also quite underweight so that helps a lot.
I just can't shake these brain damage fears.
I've read PPeH, I've read every N thread I can find on here and I'm ready to leave, been making peace with dying for a while now but the idea of becoming paralysed or like chemically lobotomized is scaring the shit out of me and I don't even know if this is possible with N.
Yes, I know I need to be not found, that's fine, I have an 8 hour window where my partner is at work. I also plan on taking it in my office and blocking the door with the armchair I'll be sitting in to make it more difficult to get access. A couple of my family members also know I'm terrified of ending up severely brain damaged or paralysed and said they wouldn't make me live in those conditions. But I'm afraid it's not up to them because if my heart is beating and I'm conscious (but say brain damaged and have the mental capacity of a toddler or something) the hospital won't pull the plug you know?
I'm terrified of failing and never being able to try again.
I'm very skinny and would use one bottle since that's what I have. Please don't say to get another bottle because with money and time that's not possible for me. I also know that @sunnybird and voiddesirer22 used one bottle and I'm also quite underweight so that helps a lot.
I just can't shake these brain damage fears.