Would it be possible to livestream the thing without getting caught?

[ExitStageLeft]

I think that would be an interesting experience - a Q&A session, followed by a broadcast of my own suicide. But could you hide your IP (assuming that you weren't home when you did it) for long enough to avoid interruption? I'm not all that tech savvy. And then, how would you advertise the event, and where?

I know some people have broadcast their suicides, but it's always a quick thing, taken from a phone camera. I'd like to settle in (in a hotel room; my house is a disaster), take a few questions, sip a drink, argue a bit, and be jovial throughout. Maybe an hour and a half total.

I'm going to die an unknown, but it would be nice to go out as a known unknown, as Donald Rumsfeld has it. Having a reasonably large audience for the first time in my life - a few hundred, even - would make me feel as if for once I had a voice, even if I had to go to this extremity to get one.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

You'd have to do it on some immoral message boards, e.g 4chan, so no one would report it. You could pretty easily hide your information from the viewers, but the Police is your main worry. They'd likely be able to track you, you'd unlikely have perfect opsec unless you research the shit out of it. They would have your face, voice, video background, and any information you put in your Q&A. IP wouldn't be your worry in that case, they have tons of information in private and public databases to track you. You'd have to advertise it on certain subreddits, or dark and sketchy message boards. If you were going to do such a thing, it'd be better to delay post a recording, which I'd presume there's a service for somewhere.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

My face and voice aren't my concern. The background could be concealed easily enough, with a curtain - and I could possibly find someplace to do it in comfortably.

I think posting something with an ominous tone might be enough advertisement if it were hinted at in the right way. If I had any kind of photo editing skills I'd even advertise it officially.

I don't know. I wish this coronavirus thing had either not hit or had hit back when I still had any money at all. Because broadcasting it live - and not in a Budd Dwyer kind of exhibitionist way, but in an attempt to genuinely communicate to people - would be ideal to me. There has to be a way. Particularly if, as now seems possible, I'm able to get enough fentanyl and a needle to do it quickly.

In my particular case, I'm enough of a scumbag that, if the sort of people who say they'd like to see people like me genuinely meant it, I'd be happy to oblige. But the technical difficulties of getting from point A to point B are elusive.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

My face and voice aren't my concern. The background could be concealed easily enough, with a curtain - and I could possibly find someplace to do it in comfortably.

I think posting something with an ominous tone might be enough advertisement if it were hinted at enough.

I don't know. I wish this coronavirus thing had either not hit or had hit back when I still had any money at all. Because broadcasting it live - and not in a Budd Dwyer kind of exhibitionist way, but in an attempt to genuinely communicate to people - would be ideal to me. There has to be a way. Particularly if, as now seems possible, I'm able to get enough fentanyl and a needle to do it quickly.

The only way to circumvent that would be using a message board, or other service which is unlikely to report you. Even then, a conscious person may stumble upon it and call the police, the host of the website, or police. Cannot change your view on anything, but know it's a high risk.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

Point well taken.

I'm basically just using this forum as a sounding board... apologies for posting a lot.

It might also depend on the method being used to go out. If I had a gun, it would probably more likely result in intervention than, say, drinking sodium nitrite solution would. Or fentanyl, for that matter, being a controlled substance.

I don't know. The idea of talking before doing it - of grabbing attention, of explaining why, of leaving a record that can be explored by... anyone - appeals to me in death for the same reason it always has in life. I am the sort of person that others say they should execute in public to make themselves feel better, like that episode of Tales From The Crypt about the executioner. I'd be happy to make a full confession and any other thing in the world if I were given a platform and an audience and an hour or two to make observations about my personal life and the society around me. And really, they ought to normalize that sort of thing anyway. It's a logical extrapolation from what the Internet has already become.

 

[5:45AM]

This sounds very difficult to pull off. (Assuming you live in a country where digital privacy is a thing of the past, USA, UK, etc) it is extremely probable that the authorities will be able to track you down through a wide variety of methods. Even spreading the stream through anonymous sources to a largely immoral group of people i.e. 4chan, it only takes one person reporting you to blow your plans open. Having your face showing, using a hotel's public wifi, having a phone on hand connected to social media, shit, literally just having a smartphone that isn't sealed in a faraday cage or something, there are so many risks.

I think a gun or other quick and dirty solution are actually the best choice if you really had your heart set out on live streaming this, a method like sodium nitrate could take 4 hours to seal the deal, plus the hour and a half of chatting you mentioned. There are just too many variables for this to be realistic.

 

[Mr2005]

I think that would be an interesting experience - a Q&A session, followed by a broadcast of my own suicide. But could you hide your IP (assuming that you weren't home when you did it) for long enough to avoid interruptiont? I'm not all that tech savvy. And then, how would you advertise the event, and where?

I know some people have broadcast their suicides, but it's always a quick thing, taken from a phone camera. I'd like to settle in (in a hotel room; my house is a disaster), take a few questions, sip a drink, argue a bit, and be jovial throughout. Maybe an hour and a half total.

I'm going to die an unknown, but it would be nice to go out as a known unknown, as Donald Rumsfeld has it. Having a reasonably large audience for the first time in my life - a few hundred, even - would make me feel as if for once I had a voice, even if I had to go to this extremity to get one.

Who'd want to watch it? Not your friends or your family. The whole thing makes me queasy

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

Point well taken.

I'm basically just using this forum as a sounding board... apologies for posting a lot.

It might also depend on the method being used to go out. If I had a gun, it would probably result in intervention a lot more than, say, sodium nitrite solution would. Or fentanyl, for that matter, being a controlled substance.

I don't know. The idea of talking before doing it - of grabbing attention, of explaining why, of leaving a record that can be explored by... anyone - appeals to me in death for the same reason it always has in life. I am the sort of person that others say they should execute in public to make themselves feel better, like that episode of Tales From The Crypt about the executioner. I'd be happy to make a full confession and any other thing in the world if I were given a platform and an audience and an hour or two to make observations about my personal life and the society around me.

No need for apologies, it's nice to have a person who can have a reasonable conversation lmfao. I can see ways where it would be harder for intervention, and depending on how you talk in your stream, people may be less likely to report you. I think the only safeguards you can have is 1. have good opsec, vpn, voice changer, etc. 2. do it on an anonymous platform, there'd be a difference if you could do it on Youtube, vs 4chan, prolifers are possibly in the minority on 4chan xD. 3. hide or conceal your face. 4. have a blank background 5. don't use your first, last, or real name in any of your account or livestream. 6. do not reveal any personal info within the stream itself, no address, no city, none. I still very much advise against it, but if you're going to do it anyways, at least use precautions. Someone will still likely report the authorities, and the chance of them finding you is beyond likely.

 

[Brink]

I think that would be an interesting experience - a Q&A session, followed by a broadcast of my own suicide. But could you hide your IP (assuming that you weren't home when you did it) for long enough to avoid interruptiont? I'm not all that tech savvy. And then, how would you advertise the event, and where?

I know some people have broadcast their suicides, but it's always a quick thing, taken from a phone camera. I'd like to settle in (in a hotel room; my house is a disaster), take a few questions, sip a drink, argue a bit, and be jovial throughout. Maybe an hour and a half total.

I'm going to die an unknown, but it would be nice to go out as a known unknown, as Donald Rumsfeld has it. Having a reasonably large audience for the first time in my life - a few hundred, even - would make me feel as if for once I had a voice, even if I had to go to this extremity to get one.

I believe in freedom of information and the right to a dignified death, but this is not that and is OTT and distasteful imo.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

Then let me ask you this, not being tech savvy really at all.

Is it possible to take a WiFi hotspot and find a place in the open somewhere where I could broadcast without necessarily being gotten to in time, even if the authorities were aware of it? Like, spread out a picnic blanket and do it there without worrying about the quality of the connection?

I wouldn't want to conceal any aspects of my biography.

I don't know how this works. And that cramps my plans more than any fear ever would.

I believe in freedom of information and the right to a dignified death but this is not that and is OTT and distasteful imo.

The conditions of my existence are such that I have no access to social media, and I have no friends who would be interested in being close with me on there anyway. Taste is in the eye of the beholder: I find having a voice dignified, and amplifying it with my death more than it was ever heard in life is the end that I'd want, even if it means satisfying the morbid curiosity of the dark corners of the Internet.

 

[5:45AM]

Then let me ask you this, not being tech savvy really at all.

Is it possible to take a WiFi hotspot and find a place in the open somewhere where I could broadcast without necessarily being gotten to in time, even if the authorities were aware of it? Like, spread out a picnic blanket and do it there without worrying about the quality of the connection?

I don't know how this works. And that cramps my plans more than any fear ever would.

Well, a wifi hotspot has to be connected to an existing wifi signal. Barring some elaborate daisy chain of range extenders or something akin to that (does not mesh with not being worried about quality of connection, and also traceable without some security setup) you would still have to be close by. If you could acquire some kind of hidden location that the authorities physically won't be able to find or rule out then maybe you could think about not being gotten to in time, but really, livestreaming over clearnet is going to carry these risks. Also I think a lot of people on this forum would agree that absolute confidence in your plan is a must for anybody that's going to CTB (barring being in extreme agony or something). I would start studying up on networking, information security and the darknet and seriously know your shit if you want to do this and evade the authorities, or just record a video or something.

 

[Apathy79]

It seems a big risk for dubious reward. It's going to get reported by someone when they realise you're serious so the shorter it is and the more concealed your identity and location the more likely it is to work. You can't really advertise it beforehand so your audience will necessarily be small, unknown to you, and likely just darkweb dweebs who like watching people die. Are you shooting more for post-mortem fame here? It's hard to figure out why you'd bother.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

It seems a big risk for dubious reward. It's going to get reported by someone when they realise you're serious so the shorter it is and the more concealed your identity and location the more likely it is to work.

Which I think may be one way around it. Make a big thing of it, make it seem like it isn't serious, or maybe make it seem like a tailored viral marketing thing, then actually doing it.

I am a pretty terrible person and the authorities know it. I sometimes wonder if there might be some cosmic mishap that prevents my being interrupted...

You can't really advertise it beforehand so your audience will necessarily be small, unknown to you, and likely just darkweb dweebs who like watching people die. Are you shooting more for post-mortem fame here? It's hard to figure out why you'd bother.

Yes, but not on a big level or anything. More like local notoriety.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

The main thing is that your want for having a voice, and being in the flesh, really contradicts good opsec. You have to be willing to compromise, e.g use darknet, change operating system to linux or tails, cover face, use secure networking etc so that you can be confident in your hiding. If you have a gun, then you can hoard yourself in the room and off yourself as soon as they get to the door to knock it down. Otherwise, as soon as they arrive, you're fucked. And the fact that being in the flesh reveals you, e.g face, means that the police will immediately find you, and bust down your door via comparing to private databases. You'd need to make sure your opsec is 100%.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

That's a fair point. I'd be willing to do it, as I understand that shooting yourself in the head is quick and painless. Though I could only get the gun by stealing it - but I know where it could be gotten.

All of this could be avoided if voluntary euthanasia was legal. And just as you give a condemned prisoner on death row his choice of a last meal, you ought to have the option to leave a broadcast recording of your final thoughts. Jesus. If a man can't live right, let him die right.

 

[Apathy79]

My mind is starting to spin with ideas about how to make this work but I'm a bit hesitant to share them tbh. I can't work out your motivation here and it's giving me a weird vibe. Can't you broadcast your final thoughts separately?

 

[s1mplem3]

I think it's pretty dangerous, they will find you most likely. Would be better just to find someone in here for 1v1 video call and make a record of it and then upload somewhere.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

I want to see the response to them, I think. That's the motivation - to see some kind of collective reaction to them.

It's right to feel a weird vibe about it. It'd be an exploration of the nature of my criminal and destructive impulses. Something to validate my own personal opinions. But not directed at anyone in particular.

I'd be curous to hear your thoughts on the subject.

I think it's pretty dangerous, they will find you most likely. Would be better just to find someone in here for 1v1 video call and make a record of it and then upload somewhere.

Wouldn't that be less responsible, insofar as it would then implicate someone else? And I'm not a sympathetic person. What guarantee is there that, when the other person hears my story, they won't then refuse to do it? I'd rather record my final thoughts, see someone else upload them, and then do it, if that were to be the way it happened. I'd be comfortable with that.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

That's a fair point. I'd be willing to do it, as I understand that shooting yourself in the head is quick and painless. Though I could only get the gun by stealing it - but I know where it could be gotten.

All of this could be avoided if voluntary euthanasia was legal. And just as you give a condemned prisoner on death row his choice of a last meal, you ought to have the option to leave a broadcast recording of your final thoughts. Jesus. If a man can't live right, let him die right.

Well you'll definitely get in the news for that one. A Russian couple did that a while ago on stream, including a shootout. It was posted on the New York Post, then uploaded to youtube.

 

[5:45AM]

What notoriety is there to gain? You'll never really be able to see the reaction - you could easily do all of this stream sans the actual intent and equipment to CTB, and see what happens, with no/vastly fewer repercussions, I'd think. But you won't get to know what happens after the fact.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

More broadly, setting aside my personal issues, this should be a possibility.

In the event that legal voluntary euthanasia becomes socially acceptable for reasons other than terminal health concerns, it should be possible to broadcast final messages through some accepted venue, at least ones that aren't made out of spite (to family, friends etc.). DeathTube.

 

[Apathy79]

Many people post their suicidal thoughts in the lead up and get live and subsequent reactions, then get the opportunity to clarify further in subsequent videos. Some even go on to livestream the suicide, albeit in a much shorter video than you're planning. Katelyn Nicole Davis is one that springs to mind immediately. That process has the added advantage of reducing suspicion, because you've already posted so many videos about your thoughts that ended innocently, so when the big one comes, no one is expecting suicide, even though you've talked about it constantly, until right before it happens, and by then it's too late. The alternative of just doing one long suicide/confession/final thoughts live interactive video is very high risk, and hard to imagine why it would be preferable.

I might be reading this all wrong but it sounds like you have something to confess that is going to land you in hot water so you want to get it off your chest, explain yourself, get reactions, then die on your own terms. So the usual process doesn't work.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

I might be reading this all wrong but it sounds like you have something to confess that is going to land you in hot water so you want to get it off your chest, explain yourself, get reactions, then die on your own terms. So the usual process doesn't work.

Not a confession to things unknown, but an explanation/rationalization of things that are already known, and a complaint that their consequences make life unlivable and make the person subject to them worse than they otherwise might have been. My desire for an Q&A session is really just because my life is profoundly fucked up, and I'd like to tell people how I navigate it day to day, in the hopes they might get something out of it.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

Hosting a live stream (or any content, really) on a service, platform, server, etc. that is not subject to US interference (ie, in any of the 'Five Eyes' countries, eh really Five, Nine, or Fourteen Eyes) is perhaps the most secure way to avoid censorship.

Because at that point, all other factors are irrelevant. If the service is outside of the jurisdiction of an Eyes cooperative alliance, US law enforcement will have difficulty easily and quickly accessing the necessary data to track a person. It's not impossible, but it's more costly and it takes much more time and resources.

In the case of a singular person broadcasting a suicide, I would think this would not be a priority, it's too "low value", as law enforcement would qualify it.

*Censorship and technology-gone-wild is a pet peeve of mine. Please do not construe my post as encouragement or advice.

 

[FreedomInDeath]

In the end who will care? Your death will just become a show for people who love watching deaths to get a thrill and laugh from. Sorry but its true.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

In the end who will care? Your death will just become a show for people who love watching deaths to get a thrill and laugh from. Sorry but its true.

I am fine with this. There are a handful of people it would matter to, and I appreciate the idea of connecting them with strangers in my death, however fleeting. More, I have a bizarre life-story to tell that might entertain someone briefly.

Hosting a live stream (or any content, really) on a service, platform, server, etc. that is not subject to US interference (ie, in any of the 'Five Eyes' countries, eh really Five, Nine, or Fourteen Eyes) is perhaps the most secure way to avoid censorship.

Is there a way to do this quickly and cheaply?

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

Is there a way to do this quickly and cheaply?

I don't know for sure as I am more familiar with the policies and theories around censorship vs. the ways to go about circumventing it.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I think last year or two years ago, a video started floating of a guy that ctb online. He was in a group chat or forum not sure which. You could hear the audio of the people talking to him. The video went on for 45 min or so before he ctb. I saw reports later that they tried to figure out where he was but they couldn't.

 

[Notabadguy]

What is the point of doing that? CTB must be based in reason, not in emotion, in revenge or in the need of getting attention, which is obviously your case. If you are here, you are in pain, like me and many others, but it just doesn't make sense to want to get attention by CTBing. I think that you need professional help. I strongly advise you to go to a psych, and, only when you will have followed a treatment, if you still fell suicidal, CTB if you feel that is the right choice. But what you are saying right now is that you want to CTB because you want to get attention, whatever the excuse.

I know that I'm fighting a lost battle, because there will always be people that mistakes CTB for other tinghs, CTB is not a treatment to get better, or a way to making "friends", but a permanent solution for a problem. And that is Ok, in my opinion. But it's a fact that it will always attract all kinds of people, and of course, people that craves attention, or cowards, maybe llike me. Of course there are also strong people who CTB.

 

[Alec]

I think that would be an interesting experience - a Q&A session, followed by a broadcast of my own suicide. But could you hide your IP (assuming that you weren't home when you did it) for long enough to avoid interruption? I'm not all that tech savvy. And then, how would you advertise the event, and where?

I know some people have broadcast their suicides, but it's always a quick thing, taken from a phone camera. I'd like to settle in (in a hotel room; my house is a disaster), take a few questions, sip a drink, argue a bit, and be jovial throughout. Maybe an hour and a half total.

I'm going to die an unknown, but it would be nice to go out as a known unknown, as Donald Rumsfeld has it. Having a reasonably large audience for the first time in my life - a few hundred, even - would make me feel as if for once I had a voice, even if I had to go to this extremity to get one.

Your bio and the quotes you are using are making me think that you are an amazing person! And we would probably get along very well cuz we are very likely very similar and love and have passions for the same things. Sorry I don't have an advice about live-streaming