Discussion Would having a significant other make you not want to CTB?

[Freedom Believer]

By significant other I mean husband or wife or whatever you call it. Someone that loves you outside of family. I want nothing more than to wake up in the warmth of an embrace. That will never happen for me though.

 

[Final Escape]

It would probably help as long as I was healthier. In my current state probably wouldn't work out even if I had someone.

 

[Harasaki]

No, it would only make me feel more guilty for having one more person that loves me when I think I'm not deserving of love

 

[porfin1234]

I had an amazing partner but was too stupid to realize my problem was me and not him.
Granted not sure I was ready to marry and have a family anyway.
I just want my old home and job back. Stability. I screwed my life royally so yea. Now no one would want to be with me
And no one can fix that.
But I miss having a partner.

 

[bananas39]

I came to the realization that having a partner isn't going to fix my depression. I've always tried to fill a void and break up with my SO because after a year my feelings toward them would dissipate not realizing it was me, not them. Idk if I'll ever be able to have a healthy relationship. As of now, I've given up.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Ironically, this is the exact reason I am here. For me, it does. Tremendously. But...circumstances are forcing us apart, at least for a while, and if things crumble completely, well, CTB.

 

[bananas39]

Ironically, this is the exact reason I am here. For me, it does. Tremendously. But...circumstances are forcing us apart, at least for a while, and if things crumble completely, well, CTB.

I hope things will end up working out for you and your SO. For me I always feel better in the beginning but it never lasts and then I do something to screw it up when the feeling goes away or I break up with them and then I feel worse. I honestly don't know which option is worse, but as of recent I've been feeling so shitty I don't think anyone can help me feel better even temporarily.

 

[lowres]

I desperately want intimate affection from another human being, i rarely leave the house unless its necessary or socialize outside of my one friend and family so its my fault.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Thank you bananas. I do as well. She is the antidote that cures the poison in my soul and I just can't see a future without her. As for yourself, I am truly sorry you feel that way, but, perhaps one day you can come to terms one way or another with that particular issue. And, if you need someone to just talk to, I will do my best to listen if I am available. Take care.☺

 

[bananas39]

Yesterday a guy asked me to hang out but then he flaked. Same thing happened a few months ago. I don't understand why, it's not like I keep texting them. They ask me to hang out, I agree, and when it actually comes to hanging out I get flaked on. I don't understand why they even ask if they're just going to flake.

 

[TheEndof]

I have a long-term partner. In the very beginning, I'd say he made me want to live or at the very least, try my hardest to. It's hard to explain because I love him so much, but he is a big reason why I need to CTB. Not because he's a bad person, it's just that I know he is better off without me and I feel like I am keeping him from something or someone that might bring him the peace I've tried so desperately to give him.

 

[GinaIsReady]

Yesterday a guy asked me to hang out but then he flaked. Same thing happened a few months ago. I don't understand why, it's not like I keep texting them. They ask me to hang out, I agree, and when it actually comes to hanging out I get flaked on. I don't understand why they even ask if they're just going to flake.

That sooooooo sucks. I do not know why people do that shit. It's not you, it's them.

 

[Thereisnothing]

It would help a great deal to have someone left in the world who genuinely cared, loved and understood me. Sadly the very few who did have gone.
Romantically always been hurt very badly, plus used and abused.
Just to have someones arms to lay in would mean a lot or someone to hold my hand.
Being totally alone is incredibly barren.

 

[TheBigBurden]

I have a long-term partner. In the very beginning, I'd say he made me want to live or at the very least, try my hardest to. It's hard to explain because I love him so much, but he is a big reason why I need to CTB. Not because he's a bad person, it's just that I know he is better off without me and I feel like I am keeping him from something or someone that might bring him the peace I've tried so desperately to give him.

This is how I feel, sometimes I wonder if my bf knows if he sticks with me he's going to have to take care of me the rest of my life? I'm never going to get better and be able to take care of myself. He'll probably get more miserable sticking with me especially now that I'm fat and ugly and stopped taking care of myself. I feel bad for wasting his time.

 

[Midnight-rain]

I crave physical affection from a partner but... knowing myself it would only serve as a temporary distraction from my goal to ctb. Furthermore if it ended up not working out in the end I would just be that much more certain that I want to ctb.

 

[listeningpost1379]

not in my case. i believe a majority of people who ctb have loving partners. connection and understanding help heaps with suffering, but being suicidal is a whole other thing...

 

[BabyYoda]

I wouldn't CTB if the person I love cared for me the way I wanted him to. Though it's tentative.

 

[Dizzy]

I used to think love would be my cure. I tend to just make my partners as miserable as me, though.

but yes- if I had a partner committed to me I would much rather focus on their life my life, as a support side character, ya know?. ...sigh, I say that but I'm scared, even with being loved and adored, I'd still be unhappy.

but, my dog is the reason I'm still here...so...

 

[TAW122]

Not really, because I'm already far gone and the damage I sustained over the course of my life has already been too great. I am not looking for relationships, just looking to find peace (through CTB).

 

[ClaireBear31]

Nope. I have a SO and his mental health issues have significantly contributed to my need to CTB. I just can't be his 'rock' on good days nor his emotional punching bag on the bad days. It's exhausting and I have nothing left to give.