would anyone be interested in giving me some feedback on some songs i’m writing?

[wherearewenow]

hi! i am a 19 year old girl and i've always been into writing music. i play piano and guitar, sing, and arrange for symphonic orchestra! i have two songs i think are my "best" but id love for any of you to give your thoughts on them :p

i've made quite a few posts here about my suicidal ideations and wishing to not exist, but i thought i might want to post something less existential for once lolsies

"Olive" - piano and voice. still unfinished, some minor lyrical problems

untitled - piano, 12 strings, 4 brass (later i will add voice, i just haven't yet lol)

if any of you would be interested in giving me feedback i would love that! i want to make an album of my music before i die, sort of to leave my last mark on the world. these two songs are probably my best :p

 

[Brew]

Leaving Olive playing on the background while I do some job searching, just so you know it takes some time to listen to the full thing (not even sure how long the untitled piece is)

 

[wherearewenow]

Leaving Olive playing on the background while I do some job searching, just so you know it takes some time to listen to the full thing (not even sure how long the untitled piece is)

thank you for listening!!! yeah they're both kinda long, but the youtube videos themselves are mostly me talking about the song towards the back half of the video :p thank you so much!!! please let me know any criticism or feedback at all :D

 

[Brew]

thank you for listening!!! yeah they're both kinda long, but the youtube videos themselves are mostly me talking about the song towards the back half of the video :p thank you so much!!! please let me know any criticism or feedback at all :D

Yeah I've noticed it right about now, it startled me a bit

Do you happen to have the written lyrics to Olive? English is not my first language so I had a little bit of trouble making out what you were saying. I really need to up my game on that regard


+ listening to untitled now

 

[wherearewenow]

Yeah I've noticed it right about now, it startled me a bit

Do you happen to have the written lyrics to Olive? English is not my first language so I had a little bit of trouble making out what you were saying. I really need to up my game on that regard


+ listening to untitled now

yeah! the lyrics for olive are in the description! thank you again so much for listening, it means so much!!

 

[Brew]

+ listening to untitled now

...This one has the same energy to the type of music only really sad gen z people get on their YouTube recommendations, "credits song for my death" sort

I can go deeper in the movie soundtrack analogy and say this is close to what an early 2000's movie about dementia would have as a soundtrack, very mellow and not scared of being what it is. "Emotionally clear" would be a good description

 

[wherearewenow]

...This one has the same energy to the type of music only really sad gen z people get on their YouTube recommendations, "credits song for my death" sort

I can go deeper in the movie soundtrack analogy and say this is close to what an early 2000's movie about dementia would have as a soundtrack, very mellow and not scared of being what it is. "Emotionally clear" would be a good description

i mean that makes sense, i'm very much gen Z :p i'm glad it was emotionally clear to you!! :D

 

[Brew]

Listening to Olive again...

Your voice reminds me a lot of Sinead O'Connor for some reason. You sound like you're holding back on a deeper singing voice and I like it.

About the actual song, at the beginning I was finding hard coming up with words to describe something about the way it's being sung along with the piano, I'm pretty rhythm doesn't have much to do with it. At the first strophes, right about the last verse of each of them, it blends together with the piano notes so neatly like they held hands at that point and shared a brief dance only to separate again.

Gosh I love the way it rises at the 5:00 mark so much, love it when songs are able to throw punches out like this, too.

When the song "comes back" at the 6:00 mark, it sounds like an entire different piece, in the best way. It's exhausted to a point of boredom and stagnation, like it's begging itself to end so it can sleep. Supposed one can only see green olive skies in their dreams, anyway.

 

[wherearewenow]

Listening to Olive again...

Your voice reminds me a lot of Sinead O'Connor for some reason. You sound like you're holding back on a deeper singing voice and I like it.

About the actual song, at the beginning I was finding hard coming up with words to describe something about the way it's being sung along with the piano, I'm pretty rhythm doesn't have much to do with it. At the first strophes, right about the last verse of each of them, it blends together with the piano notes so neatly like they held hands at that point and shared a brief dance only to separate again.

Gosh I love the way it rises at the 5:00 mark so much, love it when songs are able to throw punches out like this, too.

When the song "comes back" at the 6:00 mark, it sounds like an entire different piece, in the best way. It's exhausted to a point of boredom and stagnation, like it's begging itself to end so it can sleep. Supposed one can only see green olive skies in their dreams, anyway.

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH, this actually means the world to me!!!

the melody was written years before the words, so i tried my hardest to get the melody to blend well with the piano!! the second to last note of the melody clashes with the piano chords but the last note of the repeating melody fits in perfectly so that might be part of the "hand holding"

and i'm so glad you liked the rise!!! i wanted it to feel almost like it wasn't happening until you realized how much you rose from the beginning, so the crash at the end hits harder! and yeah the last verse and outro are very different to anything else, but i'm glad that works for you!!!

i don't hear a ton of the comparison to o'connor, but that comparison means so much just because of her raw vocal talent :D

and your line about olive skies in dreams is amazing. i'm so, so thankful you liked my song!!! :D i've been writing it for a little over 4 years now lol. if you have any criticism or feedback or even just nitpicks let me know!!! :D thank you so much!!!!

 

[Brew]

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH, this actually means the world to me!!!

the melody was written years before the words, so i tried my hardest to get the melody to blend well with the piano!! the second to last note of the melody clashes with the piano chords but the last note of the repeating melody fits in perfectly so that might be part of the "hand holding"

and i'm so glad you liked the rise!!! i wanted it to feel almost like it wasn't happening until you realized how much you rose from the beginning, so the crash at the end hits harder! and yeah the last verse and outro are very different to anything else, but i'm glad that works for you!!!

i don't hear a ton of the comparison to o'connor, but that comparison means so much just because of her raw vocal talent :D

and your line about olive skies in dreams is amazing. i'm so, so thankful you liked my song!!! :D i've been writing it for a little over 4 years now lol. if you have any criticism or feedback or even just nitpicks let me know!!! :D thank you so much!!!!

Glad to help. Now that you've said it, you got me thinking about certain things.

I have strange plan I am currently doing nothing towards achieving its goal, about going to a music public school later this year. They hold this sort of test every year for students, with tons of Portuguese terms I have no idea how to translate/explain. I like rhythm and percussion specially, so I'd like to study that over there.

I'm glad I managed to convey so many things to you and how close I got to the many things you did purposely on your art. It works as a reminder that maybe I could and should also take this plan and goal seriously, for my own sake. So I thank you too.

 

[NumbItAll]

I really enjoyed both. Olive sounds so nice and genuine and I like how it picks up around the 4 minute mark and then settles back down again. Untitled has some really interesting chord progressions and I love how it slowly builds with the orchestra. The little surprises and variations throughout always keep things interesting. You have a lot of musical chops for sure.

 

[wherearewenow]

Glad to help. Now that you've said it, you got me thinking about certain things.

I have strange plan I am currently doing nothing towards achieving its goal, about going to a music public school later this year. They hold this sort of test every year for students, with tons of Portuguese terms I have no idea how to translate/explain. I like rhythm and percussion specially, so I'd like to study that over there.

I'm glad I managed to convey so many things to you and how close I got to the many things you did purposely on your art. It works as a reminder that maybe I could and should also take this plan and goal seriously, for my own sake. So I thank you too.

you should totally work on trying to achieve your music goals!! my idea sort of is to get my music out as a "last thing", and then once i finish it decide what i'll do next with my life. there's no reason to wait at all on you focusing on your music!!