monetpompo
you've got everything now
- Apr 21, 2025
- 851
i could buy two bottles of 1000 25mg pills online. i don't know if it'd be lethal enough. i can't make another trip to the hospital because my parents can't afford to pay another bill, even if i only stay for the legally required 3 day hold. i hate cops and nurses and my parents pretend they care when i get put into the hospital but i know they'd rather be at home. genuinely, i just don't know what to do with myself anymore. i don't care enough to make anymore vent posts because i don't care if people relate to me. i'm just an asshole who thinks about suicide and ghosting all of the people in my life because i don't want to bother them with my suicidal garbage. i think the people in my life would prefer if i ghosted them instead of tell them i have suicidal thoughts, because they would expect me to die or stop talking about it because it stresses them out. i'm thinking about buying the benadryl and combining it with hanging outside. but i should probably just hang myself because i know it'll work if i'm doing it in the middle of the night when no one would be out in the forest. i just can't handle being alive anymore. i feel like such a coward. i was supposed to be dead by now but i'm the only person that can kill myself. i can't function in society if i hate myself so much because i don't think that i'm capable of suceeding at anything.
i feel like a loser for not knowing how i'm going to kill myself. people still get scared and have shitty lives if they have a gun or sn, but they at least know how they're going to die and feel in control of their lives. i've had this cold for about a week now and keep blowing my nose while mulling over my suicide. i feel like a stupid dumb baby. other people are gonna be kissing their partners or celebrating with their families and i'll be out in the woods or still sick in my bed. i've been sleeping a lot because of how sick i am.
i feel like a loser for not knowing how i'm going to kill myself. people still get scared and have shitty lives if they have a gun or sn, but they at least know how they're going to die and feel in control of their lives. i've had this cold for about a week now and keep blowing my nose while mulling over my suicide. i feel like a stupid dumb baby. other people are gonna be kissing their partners or celebrating with their families and i'll be out in the woods or still sick in my bed. i've been sleeping a lot because of how sick i am.
