S
Sadfairytale
Member
- Nov 3, 2020
- 9
I wish I was a robot, programmed to be the perfect human being. Sometimes I feel so worthless. Due to my ADHD I can make a lot of mistakes without even realising it. I feel dumb, incompetent and worthless almost all the time. My parents raised me as if there was something wrong with me since I was 7. They told me I should act normal as if that was something I could do just like that. But I can't. I've been physically abused years of my young adulthood because of this. I would want to be perfect but my head is all over the place all the time. I can't control my impulses and that's why I harm myself when I do something stupid. Even though it was not on purpose. I want to smash my brains against a brick wall. Ritalin only makes my depression worse and makes me agressive (I don't consider myself to be an agressive person). I don't want to feel ashamed anymore of myself. I need someone who just gives me a hug to tell me Iam ok the way Iam. Or just somebody who tells me that my flaws don't matter. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do. I don't want to be me anymore. Usually when someone has patience and is nice with me I love to work on myself! Because I understand it can be hard sometimes. But mostly I just feel misunderstood and I want to end my own fucking misery.