SterileMoth
Who knows man
- Jul 9, 2020
- 74
Some of you may remember a post I made about my ex-fiance. The general agreement I got was that he was abusive and seemed narcissistic. Well! Because I am an idiot, when he came back and wanted to be with me again I gave him a shot after he seemed to prove he was actually trying to be different. I guess I got love bombed and then he abruptly started ignoring me. He gaslighted me when I pointed out that he was ignoring me. I felt fucking crazy.
So, he cheated on me. Multiple times. Seemingly with one guy. So he gets to cheat then be happy with someone else, and I get to feel gutted.
I feel sick and worthless and empty and really just want the hurt to go away. Its built up more and more. He found yet another way to make me feel worthless. I even told him I was terrified he would just leave again, that I didn't want to try things if he wasn't serious. He promised he was. I give up. I don't have any life goals anymore. I don't have any value. It feels like I've been on a really bumpy road. One thing after the other, something goes wrong. I think maybe things will be better and then a sinkhole opens up. I've tried partial suspension so many times unsuccessfully, where the pressure builds uncomfortably and I start to feel light headed after 5 minutes. I know that's not the right spot. I get a horrible headache if I keep going. I just want it to stop. No one should feel like this. Its exhausting and tiring and I want it to stop. Coma or ctb please
So, he cheated on me. Multiple times. Seemingly with one guy. So he gets to cheat then be happy with someone else, and I get to feel gutted.
I feel sick and worthless and empty and really just want the hurt to go away. Its built up more and more. He found yet another way to make me feel worthless. I even told him I was terrified he would just leave again, that I didn't want to try things if he wasn't serious. He promised he was. I give up. I don't have any life goals anymore. I don't have any value. It feels like I've been on a really bumpy road. One thing after the other, something goes wrong. I think maybe things will be better and then a sinkhole opens up. I've tried partial suspension so many times unsuccessfully, where the pressure builds uncomfortably and I start to feel light headed after 5 minutes. I know that's not the right spot. I get a horrible headache if I keep going. I just want it to stop. No one should feel like this. Its exhausting and tiring and I want it to stop. Coma or ctb please
