![emoplugg](/data/avatars/l/97/97960.jpg?1724117523)
emoplugg
she/her
- Aug 19, 2024
- 17
hey, it's nice to meet all of you. i joined today because i wanted a place i can openly talk about this kind of stuff without just being told to not CTB, so yeah hello!
there's a few things i still enjoy. i love listening to new music, smoking lots of weed, watching youtube/anime/whatever. it just seems like everything that can go wrong does go wrong. weed is the only thing really keeping me going at this point, it distracts me in a way nothing else gets even close to. i'm completely fucking miserable sober. but of course as soon as i need to purchase more i find out my bank disabled my card for some fucking reason. i don't have the energy to contact them and im usually asleep during their hours anyway due to my flipped sleep schedule. either way i can only get two more ounces purchased with the amount of money i have which will only last me around a month, so its like, do i go through all of the effort just for another month of misery? one could could say that things might get better, but ive been suicidal for months at this point and depressed for years, i've gone to therapy, i'm on antidepressants, i highly doubt shit will improve.
i have some rope coming in the mail i'll be using for if/when i do decide to CTB. i could do it as early as tomorrow night, but i'm still not certain. if i'm not able to get more weed then i probably will. sorry for the ramble haha, i just need a place to vent my thoughts, so thanks for reading <3
there's a few things i still enjoy. i love listening to new music, smoking lots of weed, watching youtube/anime/whatever. it just seems like everything that can go wrong does go wrong. weed is the only thing really keeping me going at this point, it distracts me in a way nothing else gets even close to. i'm completely fucking miserable sober. but of course as soon as i need to purchase more i find out my bank disabled my card for some fucking reason. i don't have the energy to contact them and im usually asleep during their hours anyway due to my flipped sleep schedule. either way i can only get two more ounces purchased with the amount of money i have which will only last me around a month, so its like, do i go through all of the effort just for another month of misery? one could could say that things might get better, but ive been suicidal for months at this point and depressed for years, i've gone to therapy, i'm on antidepressants, i highly doubt shit will improve.
i have some rope coming in the mail i'll be using for if/when i do decide to CTB. i could do it as early as tomorrow night, but i'm still not certain. if i'm not able to get more weed then i probably will. sorry for the ramble haha, i just need a place to vent my thoughts, so thanks for reading <3