Worst part about dying soon is not being able to say goodbye to people, and knowing that you're going to hurt people

[SuicideByBelt]

I'm waiting for Sodium Nitrite to arrive. Then it is lights off for me.

 

[voyager]

I agree, wish there was a rational way of leaving this world without any sort of drama. Think Soylent Green.

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

It would be nice to be able to say proper goodbyes to everyone and at least try to explain why I want to do this. I know no matter what I say some wouldn't agree with my decision, but maybe I could at least help them understand my perspective a little.

 

[littleflower88]

I wish it was as easy as giving your family a date and saying right it's going to happen on this date ??? We choose every other aspect of our lives (minus our mental health) so why can't we take control of our own lives in this way too

 

[Eren]

Completely agree, is the worst .. it's what keeps me CTB, it's horrible guilt I feel for my mother.

 

[Jean4]

Look at it this way. You have people in your life who care about you and will miss you. When I die, nobody would know.

 

[lymestolemylife]

I'm waiting for Sodium Nitrite to arrive. Then it is lights off for me.

I know. I wish my husband could be here with me so i'm not scared and get to say goodbye, but there is no way he can ever agree with me CTB even though i'm very sick and he knows my life is torturous. I can't blame him, he's always hoping that it will get better. I've realized it WON'T ever and its just wasting time wishing and wishing. I want to say goodbye but I can't. I love my husband more than anything and that's why i've hung on for so long.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I have almost two dozen pre-scheduled emails that are going to go out after my estimated time of CTB.

I have discarded and rewritten them all almost a dozen times, but in the end - yes, there is very little you can say to dull the pain of your absence.

The best i could do is let folks know i was not afraid, alone, or out of sorts in my head when the time came. That i love them dearly, and that i want them to go on and live happy and fruitful lives.

 

[Final Escape]

Look at it this way. You have people in your life who care about you and will miss you. When I die, nobody would know.

That's like me too, or I will have caused so much damage throughout my life they'd really rather not remember me. Jean I'll remember u if I don't go before u but I have feeling I will.

 

[Jean4]

That's like me too, or I will have caused so much damage throughout my life they'd really rather not remember me. Jean I'll remember u if I don't go before u but I have feeling I will.

I am here for today. That's all I promise. One never knows what tomorrow will bring. We may be lucky and Trump will blow us up. ;)

 

[Squiddy]

I am here for today. That's all I promise. One never knows what tomorrow will bring. We may be lucky and Trump will blow us up. ;)

I hope he only blows me up

 

[Jean4]

I hope he only blows me up

Sorry. He will take everybody lol.

 

[Squiddy]

Sorry. He will take everybody lol.

Damn lol

 

[Dieordietrying]

I wish so desperately I could explain to my mom why I'm doing this, but she'd only stop me. She has no idea what evil thoughts go through my mind constantly. She's my favourite person in the whole world and it's agonizing that I'll be hurting her, but she doesn't understand

 

[Dieordietrying]

I wish so desperately I could explain to my mom why I'm doing this, but she'd only stop me. She has no idea what evil thoughts go through my mind constantly. She's my favourite person in the whole world and it's agonizing that I'll be hurting her, but she doesn't understand

I don't wish death on her, but I wish she could somehow come with me

 

[LittleJem]

Look at it this way. You have people in your life who care about you and will miss you. When I die, nobody would know.

@Jean4 you are a huge and huge hearted part of this forum - I have never met you, but I am sure I am not the only one who cares about you and who will also miss you.
I have told people in my family and my friends that I want to die, and to say goodbye to me. I've told them I will try testing some more medications - but I am not sure how much more of this torture with no working medications I can take. I've also been really public on my social media about assisted dying and about how if and when I choose to end my life, it will be long-considered.

When I tell my mum I want to die, she tells me she is devastated. Then I ask her if it is better for her not to know, and for it to be a surprise? I am just trying to prepare people. Everyone apart from my mum - they are handling it a little bit better.

I know not everyone can do this - but for me, I have wanted to let people know a bit.

 

[EmptyArms]

Sorry. He will take everybody lol.

You heard it here first. Nostrajeanus. I wish you were wrong.

 

[Jean4]

You heard it here first. Nostrajeanus. I wish you were wrong.

I am part of the resistance. I keep yelling lol

 

[EmptyArms]

I am part of the resistance. I keep yelling lol

I'm not one to incite violence but is there any reason why no one has climbed onto a grassy knoll to save the world from further peril and covfefe and whatnot?

I'm not one to incite violence but is there any reason why no one has climbed onto a grassy knoll to save the world from further peril and covfefe and whatnot?

I mean...if a hypothetical person happened to be leaving anyway.

 

[Jean4]

I'm not one to incite violence but is there any reason why no one has climbed onto a grassy knoll to save the world from further peril and covfefe and whatnot?

I'm a 9/11 First Responder who had to fight for benefits. I am for violence against the Republicans.

Why is nobody removing him for being bat shit crazy?

 

[EmptyArms]

I'm a 9/11 First Responder who had to fight for benefits. I am for violence against the Republicans.

Why is nobody removing him for being bat shit crazy?

This.
Perhaps because we get the government we deserve.
We apparently deserve a cross between a head injury and an unmade bed for a leader, while you..
you get a condom over-stuffed with hotdog meat with a wisp of piss-stained cobweb for hair.
That's what you get.

 

[Jean4]

This.
Perhaps because we get the government we deserve.
We apparently deserve a cross between a head injury and an unmade bed for a leader, while you..
you get a condom over-stuffed with hotdog meat with a wisp of piss-stained cobweb for hair.
That's what you get.

You are being way too kind.

 

[Zoltiel]

I wish so desperately I could explain to my mom why I'm doing this, but she'd only stop me. She has no idea what evil thoughts go through my mind constantly. She's my favourite person in the whole world and it's agonizing that I'll be hurting her, but she doesn't understand

Exactly, if only my mom would understand what was happening in my mind she would be ok with this.

 

[littleflower88]

I don't wish death on her, but I wish she could somehow come with me

I know how you feel, I badly want to tell me twin sister, I wish she could come with me too :(

 

[The nerd]

The amazing thing about humans is that we are resilient. People may mourn you and feel pain for awhile, then they will get over it. They will remember you fondly, but remember, life goes on. They will eventually laugh again, smile, love, and just go on. Don't suffer for other people's enjoyment. Do what is right for you, whether it's living or dying.

 

[SuicideByBelt]

The amazing thing about humans is that we are resilient. People may mourn you and feel pain for awhile, then they will get over it. They will remember you fondly, but remember, life goes on. They will eventually laugh again, smile, love, and just go on. Don't suffer for other people's enjoyment. Do what is right for you, whether it's living or dying.

Love this

 

[Rushon]

The amazing thing about humans is that we are resilient. People may mourn you and feel pain for awhile, then they will get over it. They will remember you fondly, but remember, life goes on. They will eventually laugh again, smile, love, and just go on. Don't suffer for other people's enjoyment. Do what is right for you, whether it's living or dying.

Two years ago I lost my best friend and my favorite cousin who was much more like a sister to me. These deaths happened within 5 months of each other. One of the things that made me sad, other than the obvious, was how quickly the world continued on like nothing happened. It seemed like after a month no one even mentioned these great people. My friend's wife was remarried in SIX months! So the moral of the story is do what is best for you.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah, I had the same feeling as well. I am unable to say my goodbyes without the risk of intervention or even getting guilt-tripped, shamed into living. I suppose the best I can do is to write my note and then say my goodbyes in the notes, address them properly, then CTB.

 

[SuicideByBelt]

My SN arrives in 5 working days. Looking forward to leaving.