angelicism999

angelicism999

like, yeah
Jul 22, 2019
33
So this is stupid, but I have a lot of anxieties abt what happens to 'me' after ctb? It feels a bit like I'd be leaving my body unattended, which freaks me out for trauma reasons, but it also just feels like I'm like... littering or something? Just because no matter what I'll be leaving behind some gruesome thing that other people will be forced to 'clean up' or something and that like makes me want to cry. It's super ridiculous I know, but it's a hangup I actually have so I was wondering if ppl had any thoughts/advice.
 
I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Well, I've thought of that. But my life is so horrifying that anything after this is a better option
 
komm susser todd

komm susser todd

Become the master of your own fate
Jul 21, 2019
78
Depends on how you ctb. Anything messy ie jumping or blowing your brains out i get. Personally im just gonna go full suspension so my remains will be neat and in order. Just gonna make sure to have my last piss and shit so i dont leave a bigger mess afterwords LMAO

Otherwise nah not my problem anymore. Cant wait to have that last 40 and a few shots before lights out
 
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theuninstallbutton

theuninstallbutton

hellboy
Jul 21, 2019
21
Yes, I 100% know how you feel about this. This is not stupid at all. I have had similar thoughts, and you are not alone. Have you ever tried astral projecting? I'd like to think astral projection is similar to death. Or out of body experience.

When people die, others have to clean up after them all the time. You are not littering as when a human dies, the body decomposes and provides food and nutrients for nature. These thoughts you have would not be shared by other people. They would be thinking about how much they miss you, how they could have saved you, et cetera.
 
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angelicism999

angelicism999

like, yeah
Jul 22, 2019
33
Depends on how you ctb. Anything messy ie jumping or blowing your brains out i get. Personally im just gonna go full suspension so my remains will be neat and in order. Just gonna make sure to have my last piss and shit so i dont leave a bigger mess afterwords LMAO

Otherwise nah not my problem anymore. Cant wait to have that last 40 and a few shots before lights out

pffffft omg this is hilar, that's such a good mentality to have lol
 
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komm susser todd

komm susser todd

Become the master of your own fate
Jul 21, 2019
78
pffffft omg this is hilar, that's such a good mentality to have lol
Hey what can i say, i pick up after my own shit, dont want anyone to be pissed
 
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T

TimeToDie

Mage
Jun 13, 2019
521
Everyone will need a "clean-up" eventually. It's not as if dropping dead of natural causes at 85 is pretty thing to deal with. Undertakers make a living dealing with nasty things that everyone would prefer to avoid.
 
Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
Once dead nothing matters. Once everyone dies is just rotting organic matter. Just like a banana peel but bigger.
 
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angelicism999

angelicism999

like, yeah
Jul 22, 2019
33
Well, I've thought of that. But my life is so horrifying that anything after this is a better option
:( I'm so sorry guy. I hope you find your ease, however you do it.
Yes, I 100% know how you feel about this. This is not stupid at all. I have had similar thoughts, and you are not alone. Have you ever tried astral projecting? I'd like to think astral projection is similar to death. Or out of body experience.

When people die, others have to clean up after them all the time. You are not littering as when a human dies, the body decomposes and provides food and nutrients for nature. These thoughts you have would not be shared by other people. They would be thinking about how much they miss you, how they could have saved you, et cetera.
Aaa this is so sweet thank you.... i haven't really tried astral projecting but it seems fun! I'll try later maybs.
Everyone will need a "clean-up" eventually. It's not as if dropping dead of natural causes at 85 is pretty thing to deal with. Undertakers make a living dealing with nasty things that everyone would prefer to avoid.
that's so true, but idk it just feels like i'm like taking up space w/e i do i wish there was like a disintegration button?
Once dead nothing matters. Once everyone dies is just rotting organic matter. Just like a banana peel but bigger.
that's rly comforting...
 
angelicism999

angelicism999

like, yeah
Jul 22, 2019
33
I get the sarcasm, but I've found that some confort can be found in apathy, specially when everything is causing anxiety.



New users don't have that function. There's a wait of 24 hours and at least 5 posts.
Oh i wasn't being sarcastic!! It was genuinely comforting, I'm sorry for wording it weird
 
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theuninstallbutton

theuninstallbutton

hellboy
Jul 21, 2019
21
I get the sarcasm, but I've found that some confort can be found in apathy, specially when everything is causing anxiety.



New users don't have that function. There's a wait of 24 hours and at least 5 posts.
Right, I forgot about that considering I joined a day ago. So sorry!

*Pm me after 24 hours and after you make 5 posts if you want. <3
 
angelicism999

angelicism999

like, yeah
Jul 22, 2019
33
Right, I forgot about that considering I joined a day ago. So sorry!

*Pm me after 24 hours and after you make 5 posts if you want. <3
yeah totes!!! for sure you seem rad, i can't wait to learn star stuff :)
 
daikon

daikon

trash golem
Dec 26, 2018
142
So this is stupid, but I have a lot of anxieties abt what happens to 'me' after ctb? It feels a bit like I'd be leaving my body unattended, which freaks me out for trauma reasons, but it also just feels like I'm like... littering or something? Just because no matter what I'll be leaving behind some gruesome thing that other people will be forced to 'clean up' or something and that like makes me want to cry. It's super ridiculous I know, but it's a hangup I actually have so I was wondering if ppl had any thoughts/advice.

My plan is to send a delayed email or mail a letter to the police, so that way a professional will find my body. It won't be pretty, but at least it'll be someone who's paid to deal with that sort of thing and who has consented to be the first responder in that sort of situation. In any case, it's going to happen no matter how you die. Corpses are simply a part of life. You don't need to feel guilty about leaving one behind.
 
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angelicism999

angelicism999

like, yeah
Jul 22, 2019
33
My plan is to send a delayed email or mail a letter to the police, so that way a professional will find my body. It won't be pretty, but at least it'll be someone who's paid to deal with that sort of thing and who has consented to be the first responder in that sort of situation. In any case, it's going to happen no matter how you die. Corpses are simply a part of life. You don't need to feel guilty about leaving one behind.
thanks so much for this! that's super kind and made me feel a lot better. and that's a good idea!!
 
restingspot

restingspot

Lucid Dreamer
May 30, 2019
224
So this is stupid, but I have a lot of anxieties abt what happens to 'me' after ctb? It feels a bit like I'd be leaving my body unattended, which freaks me out for trauma reasons, but it also just feels like I'm like... littering or something? Just because no matter what I'll be leaving behind some gruesome thing that other people will be forced to 'clean up' or something and that like makes me want to cry. It's super ridiculous I know, but it's a hangup I actually have so I was wondering if ppl had any thoughts/advice.
If this is a major concern, make a cleanup plan. Clean yourself up before you ctb, lay on some plastic to make it easier. Depending on your method you could also just cover yourself with a sheet to prevent regular people seeing you.

The folks who are gonna clean you up have seen and dealt with much worse. Hoarders, 600lb+ people, literal tubs of human soup, people in horrifically advanced stages of decomp...you'll most likely be a welcome break for them. And never forget, while you're worrying about this now, the fear will be gone after you ctb, because you'll be somewhere else where you most likely won't care less.
 
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L

lifeisbutadream

Warlock
Oct 4, 2018
722
Your body is just clay when your soul has left it. If you want to really know what comes next here are some excellent websites:





Never the spirit was born;
the spirit shall cease to be never;
Never was time it was not;
End and Beginning are dreams!
Birthless and deathless and changeless remaineth the spirit for ever;
Death hath not touched it at all, dead though the house of it seems!

The Bhagavad Gita
 
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Asta

Asta

Specialist
Jun 7, 2019
318
At last! Thank you for that. There is also the ADC information, which you've probably read. :hug:
 
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T

TimeToDie

Mage
Jun 13, 2019
521
Once dead nothing matters.
Has anyone else repeated "It's doesn't matter when dead" in an attempt to calm down when they find yet another thing distressing them?
 
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FF777

FF777

Death is a natural part of life..
Jul 21, 2019
60
Your body is biodegradable first of all.. Second, no matter who finds you, it will probably be authorities cleaning up your body, not your family or friends.. And, after bodily death, I believe you are still a piece of conscious energy that exists.. I like reading the archive of near-death experiences on the iands.org website..
 
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HGL91

HGL91

Warlock
Jul 2, 2019
720
Has anyone else repeated "It's doesn't matter when dead" in an attempt to calm down when they find yet another thing distressing them?

Me practically every minute of the day making decisions lol
So this is stupid, but I have a lot of anxieties abt what happens to 'me' after ctb? It feels a bit like I'd be leaving my body unattended, which freaks me out for trauma reasons, but it also just feels like I'm like... littering or something? Just because no matter what I'll be leaving behind some gruesome thing that other people will be forced to 'clean up' or something and that like makes me want to cry. It's super ridiculous I know, but it's a hangup I actually have so I was wondering if ppl had any thoughts/advice.

Lol that's very sweet, but keep in mind that when someone CTB's, they won't have to look back and see what happens to their body and how it affects people. Like, when a person CTB's they've peaced out forever, and if one person's CTB doesn't traumatize someone, something else will because life is just evil like that. ^_^
 
Last edited:
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lifeisbutadream

Warlock
Oct 4, 2018
722
Your body is biodegradable first of all.. Second, no matter who finds you, it will probably be authorities cleaning up your body, not your family or friends.. And, after bodily death, I believe you are still a piece of conscious energy that exists.. I like reading the archive of near-death experiences on the iands.org website..


I am reading the nde's on the NDERF website right now. So many, thousands, and in great detail.
 
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lifeisbutadream

Warlock
Oct 4, 2018
722
Whoa...I'll have to check that out now, thanks..


You're welcome! Note that the narratives are presented in thumbnail fashion. Then you click on the name and the experience comes up in detail. I didn't realize that when i first went there. Duh.
 
T

TimeToDie

Mage
Jun 13, 2019
521
Second, no matter who finds you, it will probably be authorities cleaning up your body, not your family or friends.
If it's a messy death -- like a shotgun suicide -- there will be plenty of blood (and other stuff) after they remove the body. There are companies that specialize in cleaning up suicides & crime scenes. Professional cleaning would be needed for any means of death if a body has time to decompose and it's rather disturbing to read what happens & how fast it happens. Moral of the story: make sure you will be found in a timely manner or CTB outside.
 
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