worked-up rant

[burninghill]

I can't do this shit anymore. It feels like everything is fucking working against me.

from derealisation to nightmares to bipolar to broken relationships to chronic depression and failed suicide attempts and self harm. i've been alone for so long.
i'm worked up over something so stupid too. i fucked up some delivery details on a parcel that has a bunch of nicotine shit in it. thats what i get for being addicted to that stuff. now it might be being returned to sender (for a second time) and i'm gonna look like a fucking idiot. i know theres bigger problems, people are dying, starving, can't even get up every day. but this is the one thing i rely on and it feels like something is trying to take away all of my stability, even if this dumb mistake was my fault.

everything's just so built up. i havent broken down in a long time but this stupid thing pushed me over the edge. so dumb. I just wanted a calm few final months. zero problems. just do my thing, get on with it and die. i cant even get that right and i'll probably wussy out of my next attempt again

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

misery isn't a competition. never let the idea that others have it worse than you try and downplay your own struggles

 

[burninghill]

misery isn't a competition. never let the idea that others have it worse than you try and downplay your own struggles

thank you. it's such a silly little thing but i just can't go without it. its just another mistake and stressful inconvenience ontop of a massive pile of built up shit