freemefrompain

freemefrompain

Member
Aug 5, 2019
39
Hi so I have a trail shift at an arty type cafe on Friday. I am very nervous as I always get this horrible feeling in my stomach before starting a job and uncontrollable nerves, it's lead me to quit previous jobs within like a week, but I can't do that this time as I need money to pay parents rent and this cafe offers good pay highest I've had. Any tips please advise! How to hide the nerves from customers, co workers etc..
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
That's my daily experience with work. I can barely manage it, but I have no choice. I wasted any chance I had of something better and now I'm only capable of doing the crappiests job. My blood pressure is on the roof and every day I wish to die just so I can stop going there.
 
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freemefrompain

freemefrompain

Member
Aug 5, 2019
39
That's my daily experience with work. I can barely manage it, but I have no choice. I wasted any chance I had of something better and now I'm only capable of doing the crappiests job. My blood pressure is on the roof and every day I wish to die just so I can stop going there.
I'm sorry it's bad for you too. Just wish I would stop overthinking it. In old jobs I would legit just freeze up sometimes and get bad body shakes in my hands, just gotta think of the money.
 
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Lennox

Lennox

No alarms, and no surprises...
Jul 21, 2019
223
I'm sorry you're going through this, I hope somehow everything turns out ok for you at your job. Do you have any known coping mechanisms that work for you? Every person is different.

Since I imagine you're short on money and don't wanna go to a psychiatrist to see if you get an anxiolytics prescription (I never took them btw, so not sure about they're effectiveness) , the only thing I can think of is propranolol. Which is a cheap otc beta-blocker (it's otc where I live at least). It's often prescribed off-label for anxiety symptoms.
On my first job my social anxiety was terrible (maybe not necessarily what you have, but it seems pretty similar). I tried my luck with propranolol and it helped some.
My social anxiety waned down on its own over the years.
 
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sobad

Member
Aug 5, 2019
8
I think people who frequent artzy cafes are unusual fairly understanding. You should try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
 
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freemefrompain

freemefrompain

Member
Aug 5, 2019
39
I'm sorry you're going through this, I hope somehow everything turns out of for you at your job. Do you have any known coping mechanisms that work for you? Every person is different.

Since I imagine you're short on money and don't wanna go to a psychiatrist to see if you get an anxiolytics prescription (I never took them btw, so not sure about they're effectiveness) , the only thing I can think of is propranolol. Which is a cheap otc beta-blocker (it's otc where I live at least). It's often prescribed off-label for anxiety symptoms.
On my first job my social anxiety was terrible (maybe not necessarily what you have, but it seems pretty similar). I tried my luck with propranolol and it helped some.
My social anxiety waned down on its own over the years.
Thank you sm for the detailed reply:) Yeah that's the thing, I need to try my best to stay at a job so my social anxiety fades!!
I think people who frequent artzy cafes are unusual fairly understanding. You should try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
The staff member who booked my trail shift seemed lovely. I'm Goanna pre warn them that I get abit anxious. I legit put so much pressure on myself it gets on my nerves lol I can't stop it, but I guess this is a trail shift and whats meant to be will be
 
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P

pole

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
Hi so I have a trail shift at an arty type cafe on Friday. I am very nervous as I always get this horrible feeling in my stomach before starting a job and uncontrollable nerves, it's lead me to quit previous jobs within like a week, but I can't do that this time as I need money to pay parents rent and this cafe offers good pay highest I've had. Any tips please advise! How to hide the nerves from customers, co workers etc..
iv only had one job ever so far, and it was a retail job at Footlocker. i was EXTREMELY anxious cause i mean you have to talk to people, and what not in order to thrive in such a store, especially it being located downtown.

breathing helped a ton, music going there and back helped ease my anxiety, but above everything else was being comfortable in the work environment. People made me feel comfortable, they were all around my age, 19 or so, and it felt like i was just in school or class again, not work. i guess being comfortable with people there. i tried to hide it, like when it was REALLY BAD, but there were two managers who read me like a book and figured out something was wrong and approached me; and if that didnt happen, if i didnt feel comfortable with them, i wouldnt have gotten better. Especially knowing they were going through terrible things as well.

i learned that the more you try and disconnect with people and certain things at work, the more its gonna allevate ur anxiety and stress levels. i was so nervous at talking to people at first when on the floor, but i forced myself to realize they were the same as me, just people; and they would be going through their own stuff in life as well, just as i was. and so i started to enjoy talking to people, and it started with being comfortable in that environment with people.

You say the person who booked you're thing is a really lovely person, perhaps a chance to connect and be comfortable is right then and there?

I guess it just depends on ur job really and the person you are, but there isnt a way to "hide and disconnect" from customers imo, but i was just like you, so i know how it feels; though i find a way and it made me being around people the best thing to happen to me. i felt less alone, and work became a safe haven for me, like a place to escape from myself and me being alone and in my room.
 
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freemefrompain

freemefrompain

Member
Aug 5, 2019
39
iv only had one job ever so far, and it was a retail job at Footlocker. i was EXTREMELY anxious cause i mean you have to talk to people, and what not in order to thrive in such a store, especially it being located downtown.

breathing helped a ton, music going there and back helped ease my anxiety, but above everything else was being comfortable in the work environment. People made me feel comfortable, they were all around my age, 19 or so, and it felt like i was just in school or class again, not work. i guess being comfortable with people there. i tried to hide it, like when it was REALLY BAD, but there were two managers who read me like a book and figured out something was wrong and approached me; and if that didnt happen, if i didnt feel comfortable with them, i wouldnt have gotten better. Especially knowing they were going through terrible things as well.

i learned that the more you try and disconnect with people and certain things at work, the more its gonna allevate ur anxiety and stress levels. i was so nervous at talking to people at first when on the floor, but i forced myself to realize they were the same as me, just people; and they would be going through their own stuff in life as well, just as i was. and so i started to enjoy talking to people, and it started with being comfortable in that environment with people.

You say the person who booked you're thing is a really lovely person, perhaps a chance to connect and be comfortable is right then and there?

I guess it just depends on ur job really and the person you are, but there isnt a way to "hide and disconnect" from customers imo, but i was just like you, so i know how it feels; though i find a way and it made me being around people the best thing to happen to me. i felt less alone, and work became a safe haven for me, like a place to escape from myself and me being alone and in my room.
Thank you for detailed reply<3 Yeah I'll deffo address my issues and hopefully will make me feel more comfortable so less pressure. This trial shift is only 4 hours (10-2) so even if I despise it as it's in the town centre so will be busy I can get through it. The last part I understand, I practically live in my room and it makes my household so concerned about me so would actually love a distraction especially one you get paid for.
 
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P

pole

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
Thank you for detailed reply<3 Yeah I'll deffo address my issues and hopefully will make me feel more comfortable so less pressure. This trial shift is only 4 hours (10-2) so even if I despise it as it's in the town centre so will be busy I can get through it. The last part I understand, I practically live in my room and it makes my household so concerned about me so would actually love a distraction especially one you get paid for.
i mean the only reason i got a job outside of money for school was cause my parents would literally get mad at me for wasting my life away. but i guess i realize where there coming from.

i guess the hardest part even for a trial shift is getting through it. Once you get through it, u feel comfortable with it and the people within. my training shift was around 5 hours i think, 3 hours was like training, last 2 they pushed me onto the sales floor and thats where my anxiety and stress levels went beyond 1000000. but when i clocked out and it was over, i was kind of happy and relieved that i went through it all.

Good luck and hope you do well.
 
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L

Lefty

Mage
Dec 7, 2018
530
I've worked retail and it is the worse if you have mental health issues. I think, well I know it made my mental health problems worse. I can no longer work retail. Even work in general is hard for me. Data entry or working with computers is about all I can handle for now. Working with people is just too much for me. Good luck to you. I know working with people can be difficult. Just try to power through as much as you can. That's what I did.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
T
Hi so I have a trail shift at an arty type cafe on Friday. I am very nervous as I always get this horrible feeling in my stomach before starting a job and uncontrollable nerves, it's lead me to quit previous jobs within like a week, but I can't do that this time as I need money to pay parents rent and this cafe offers good pay highest I've had. Any tips please advise! How to hide the nerves from customers, co workers etc..
Find a way to tell all the customers that you're on a trial shift, or that you're being considered for a role there...at the very least, mention that you're training. People are always sympathetic to trainees/newbies/people who need work. I'm also a big proponent of anti-anxiety meds and beta blockers. You will be great! It's gonna be great for your confidence to get out of the house and meet cool people.
 
freemefrompain

freemefrompain

Member
Aug 5, 2019
39
T
Find a way to tell all the customers that you're on a trial shift, or that you're being considered for a role there...at the very least, mention that you're training. People are always sympathetic to trainees/newbies/people who need work. I'm also a big proponent of anti-anxiety meds and beta blockers. You will be great! It's gonna be great for your confidence to get out of the house and meet cool people.
I hope so! Currently struggling to get tired and sleep cos it's legit tommrow morning ! I'll let this thread know how it goes
 
azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I hope so! Currently struggling to get tired and sleep cos it's legit tommrow morning ! I'll let this thread know how it goes
They'll be so lucky to have you, and the fact that you and your contact person there hit it off is a great sign. Hope you sleep well.
 
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