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HillebrandC12B

Member
Feb 10, 2020
59
Has anyone just wished that they could take the pain or disease from someone else? It sounds silly, but like, there are so many people out there that dont want to die, they want to live, have a life to live, yet they are forced into a choice they dont get to make. I feel guilty when i think about it, but most of the time i would rather be in their shoes.
 
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Deathbydemo

Deathbydemo

Mage
Feb 15, 2020
518
Yes absolutely. A couple of years ago, a woman my age now died and left behind a husband and a young daughter. She had a rare form of blood cancer. It sounds awful but I wish so much that it could have been me.
 
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HillebrandC12B

Member
Feb 10, 2020
59
Yes absolutely. A couple of years ago, a woman my age now died and left behind a husband and a young daughter. She had a rare form of blood cancer. It sounds awful but I wish so much that it could have been me.
Yeah my father just found out he may have lukemia, and while i dont neccesarily get along well with him, well, at all really. I know my siblings care about him, i just feel like itd be better if it was me. Selfishly and unselfishly I guess. Quite an irritating feeling.
 
Deathbydemo

Deathbydemo

Mage
Feb 15, 2020
518
Yeah my father just found out he may have lukemia, and while i dont neccesarily get along well with him, well, at all really. I know my siblings care about him, i just feel like itd be better if it was me. Selfishly and unselfishly I guess. Quite an irritating feeling.
I guess, in the grand scheme of things, what we feel is probably relatively "normal". If a terminal illness were to take me away, nobody would deem my death a selfish one, and I know that's what I truly want more than anything. It is a very irritating feeling indeed. This place is great to vent out this type of thing and to know we aren't alone with our thoughts.
 
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HillebrandC12B

Member
Feb 10, 2020
59
Yeah 2 nights ago i was impulsive and tried some text therapy shit, and i laid it all fucking out there. And all the dude says is.. you are really brave for sharing all of this. Its like, do i fucking look like im being brave? Lol now just, im still feeling impulsive today. And its always a crapshoot as to whether i do or dont. I try finding the smallest things to keep me going,. Once tried to ctb in my basement with full, and well, found a box of cigs i left down there and said fuck it nvm. Im just everywhere really
 
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mesohappy

mesohappy

Cat piss sammich??
Jan 10, 2020
674
I wish that now, after seeing various family members "fight" their deaths from disease and suffer long right up to the end.It makes me feel guilty for considering CTB..I wish I could make some sort of a deal to lay down my own life so that they can come back and live the life they fought so hard to hold onto.
 
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HillebrandC12B

Member
Feb 10, 2020
59
I wish that now, after seeing various family members "fight" their deaths from disease and suffer long right up to the end.It makes me feel guilty for considering CTB..I wish I could make some sort of a deal to lay down my own life so that they can come back and live the life they fought so hard to hold onto.
Id deal with the devil if i could take someones paim and make it my own.
 
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sickInsominic42

sickInsominic42

My destination, eternal slumber
Feb 16, 2020
123
As a person suffering from chronic pain and that has a degenerative disease causing me to feed for my feeding machine I would never wish this on anybody. I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy (even though that happens to be myself)
 
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highlyvolatile

highlyvolatile

I don't know anymore.
Feb 14, 2020
278
A relative of mine just passed away and I wish i could have taken her place. She was so young. Younger than me. Her dad's been through enough and he was caring for her and her sister on his own. Ive lived enough, I wish I died instead of her.
 
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A

a_strange_day

Arcanist
Jul 16, 2019
461
Yes & No. I definitely wouldn't like to be in their shoes, I already have enough to deal with and having seen two people close to me die from cancer I wish to no one to suffer like that. But In "my" perfect world people like me would be euthanasied in a medical environment so that their organs and everything useful could be removed and help people who want to live.
 
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AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
No because having a disease translates to a great deal of suffering. I want to ctb, but I do not want to go through a great deal of suffering due to disease.
 
sickInsominic42

sickInsominic42

My destination, eternal slumber
Feb 16, 2020
123
Yes & No. I definitely wouldn't like to be in their shoes, I already have enough to deal with and having seen two people close to me die from cancer I wish to no one to suffer like that. But In "my" perfect world people like me would be euthanasied in a medical environment so that their organs and everything useful could be removed and help people who want to live.
They have a program called dying with dignity but it's so ridiculous the amount of stuff they have to do. And it's not legal in many states
 

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