Xdyzine
Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most.
- Nov 19, 2020
- 66
I messed up bad again, after a week long hellish tapering off benzo's and dealing with thoughts of CTB , I like the impulsive fool I am took the dose I was on before and went to sleep skipping work again, this will be the start of the second week in skipping work because of all the anxiety and depression , I just couldn't take it. (so weak and stupid of me I know), my dad doesn't know I'm struggling with this. He's old fashioned and just wants me to work till I'm dead, I've worked hard since the past three years with hardly any time to eat or even take a piss from 9in the morning till 8 at night (why I started benzo's to cope in the first place). It's pure hell. And now that I messed up after more then a week's struggle I'm considering going back to my old doses so I can function and go to work, cause hey it's back to square one already. Every morning is that same " I wish I'd never woken up." Would really like some input my brain is a mush. 
