Winter Dispair

[instormdrains]

I suffer from year round depression but it gets way better in warmer seasons and I hit absolute rock bottom in December. Dec 2023 I had my first plan to end it then I decided to give it a year for me to do anything. Dec 2024 came around still was crazy depressed so I spent the entire month trying and failing and the entire year was on and off attempts but I never had the courage to jump. Id sit on the edge from 3-5am only to walk home. Last attempt was July but I feel like im losing myself. Sooner or later ill fall back into psychosis and im really dreading it. Im very social and I've made many friends in uni but ive been finding it harder to conversate as the temp drops. Im very religious which is why I've never had the courage to go through with it but after several years of suicidality im losing resilience. Do you guys also get worse in the winter

 

[whywere]

I have had SAD (seasonal affective disorder) all my life. I live where in the winter it gets daylight around 8am and goes dark around 4:30pm. I have a light bar that I use, and I also go to a warmer climate, read much sunnier, for at least 3 weeks in the middle of winter to help.

With massive depression, adding SAD amplifies everything so much, and it is very hard.

So, I fully understand where you are coming from.

Have you looked into getting a light bar to sit in front of? It helps me a lot.

Hugs to you my good friend.

Walter

 

[instormdrains]

I have had SAD (seasonal affective disorder) all my life. I live where in the winter it gets daylight around 8am and goes dark around 4:30pm. I have a light bar that I use, and I also go to a warmer climate, read much sunnier, for at least 3 weeks in the middle of winter to help.

With massive depression, adding SAD amplifies everything so much, and it is very hard.

So, I fully understand where you are coming from.

Have you looked into getting a light bar to sit in front of? It helps me a lot.

Hugs to you my good friend.

Walter

Thanks Walter:)

Honestly I probably should get one it'd help me a lot. Id need to get one soon before I fall to deep into depression. Would it be able to help with psychosis? I haven't told anyone I'm depressed besides 1 friend so my familly suddenly seeing a massive lamp in my room will raise too many questions

 

[whywere]

Thanks Walter:)

Honestly I probably should get one it'd help me a lot. Id need to get one soon before I fall to deep into depression. Would it be able to help with psychosis? I haven't told anyone I'm depressed besides 1 friend so my familly suddenly seeing a massive lamp in my room will raise too many questions

I have no one who ever comes and visits my place, HOWEVER, I work from home and have had colleagues see the lamp when I have had the camera on.

I tell them that I use it to remind myself of being in Hawai'i and that it puts me in a great mood.

I LOVE my light bar when it gets darn at 4:30pm and I switch it on. In a little while my mood always gets better and I will always have one as long as I live in a 4-season climate with a VERY short daylight winter.

There is always a way of explaining something away without getting into detail and quite frankly, it is no one else's business what I do anyway.

I would really look into it and see if it would help put you in a better mood during the cold and dark days of winter.

I also want to mention that I have what they call a "desktop" model, it is approximately 12inches high by 7 inches wide. Perfect for me and does the job really well without having a large item in my way.

Lots of hugs and caring thoughts to you, my good friend.

Walter

 

[prettyclam]

Something about winter is depressing, maybe the dead trees, lack of animals, cold temperatures, I don't know. I also get more depressed and suicidal in winter. For me the depression is exacerbated by the fear of living a new year and holiday trauma. December is my cut off point for ctb. Living past December 31st will be a nightmare

 

[Ligottian]

I am EXTREMELY cold natured. Cold weather is hellish to me.