Will you die knowing you did everything you could to get better?

[Ambivalent1]

I've been pushing through every obstacle all my life but new health problems, etc appear again and again and fuck up all my progress. It's maddening. I just hope that knowing I did my best can give me the peace I had sought right before the end someday. I don't believe peace is found in death. How can it when death is devoid of experience?

 

[noxu77]

just a general question have you tried everything gym strict diet vitamin sups ( athletic greens, ashawaganda) and the last is kinda more vital with people who are male (AGAB) have you done testosterone filled activity's , mma (judo ,wrestling ,muay thai), heavy labour ect (if you are out of city ,wood chopping ect ) health is very random im a diabetic but these things help me regulate my health , ofc health goes down with age but things like stressors can kill even faster (ashwaganda a good stress reducer naturally increases test indirectly ,and i think so too death isn't peace ,you literally cannot feel it when you die so what is it for you are still in pain until you literally turn your body off you never actually found it ( my perspective not imposing any views on anyone )

 

[leftdreaming]

I will die having tried a lot, but not everything. Can't afford inpatient and fucked up saying too much in therapy. Basically I'll die having tried too much and ending up having limited my options. But that's life for ya.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Yes. I'm at peace with the effort I've made. It really was a very rigged game anyways.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case wanting to die isn't an "illness", it's a rational response to existing here in this harmful and dreadful world where we are destined to suffer more and more as time goes on. Existing just doesn't appeal to me anyway, it's a futile burden and a chore, I think it's always preferable to cease existing no matter what as nobody can be harmed by not existing, to die solves what the true problem which is existence in itself, existence could never be a desirable state, the existence of life is a cruel, tragic mistake and there's no value to slowly deteriorating from old age which is all that existing leads to.

And to me the absence of everything is true peace, existence is just an unnecessary disturbance in what would otherwise be the perfect state of non-existence, there is no peace to be found in this hellish world, it only exists in nothingness.

 

[Nights]

No, i could do more expect i don't have the courage to do this, i can rob shops and escape my country and do all of crazy shit that seems cool like traveling a lot and taking drugs, but i don't have the courage to do this, my brain forces me to be responsible and not do these things, but i don't care, i have no regrets from the side of "trying to recover"

 

[SoftWorries]

Yes. I've tried a lot but not everything. I'll be able here with a goodbye post the day it's everything if nothing works

 

[Ambivalent1]

just a general question have you tried everything gym strict diet vitamin sups ( athletic greens, ashawaganda) and the last is kinda more vital with people who are male (AGAB) have you done testosterone filled activity's , mma (judo ,wrestling ,muay thai), heavy labour ect (if you are out of city ,wood chopping ect ) health is very random im a diabetic but these things help me regulate my health , ofc health goes down with age but things like stressors can kill even faster (ashwaganda a good stress reducer naturally increases test indirectly ,and i think so too death isn't peace ,you literally cannot feel it when you die so what is it for you are still in pain until you literally turn your body off you never actually found it ( my perspective not imposing any views on anyone )

I'm floxed so I can't workout. Floxed happens after a certain antibiotic causes tendonitis. It can cause other things but I don't have that stuff.

 

[noxu77]

yes i do remember it but forgot some of the keys parts , when i researched about it for a friend it said isometric movements have you tried isometric movements doesn't involve joints just muscle you need to do the form properly tho , and healthcare you working with them? and im sorry i didnt know that but also peoples adaptability differ.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

In my case wanting to die isn't an "illness", it's a rational response to existing here in this harmful and dreadful world where we are destined to suffer more and more as time goes on. Existing just doesn't appeal to me anyway, it's a futile burden and a chore, I think it's always preferable to cease existing no matter what as nobody can be harmed by not existing, to die solves what the true problem which is existence in itself, existence could never be a desirable state, the existence of life is a cruel, tragic mistake and there's no value to slowly deteriorating from old age which is all that existing leads to.

And to me the absence of everything is true peace, existence is just an unnecessary disturbance in what would otherwise be the perfect state of non-existence, there is no peace to be found in this hellish world, it only exists in nothingness.

Bingo, I agree with everything that you said …..
Those who enjoy life and are pro life go and enjoy and I hope you enjoy your life till your last day on earth and as for me my happiness is my eternal peace that will last forever.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Bingo, I agree with everything that you said …..
Those who enjoy life and are pro life go and enjoy and I hope you enjoy your life till your last day on earth and as for me my happiness is my eternal peace that will last forever.

You won't experience it, so according to your logic I guess you had peace up until you were born. What did 1000AD feel like? Don't say peaceful. Peaceful is a feeling.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

You won't experience it, so according to your logic I guess you had peace up until you were born. What did 1000AD feel like? Don't say peaceful. Peaceful is a feeling.

Peaceful is nothingness… You know how things were before you were born just not existing

just a general question have you tried everything gym strict diet vitamin sups ( athletic greens, ashawaganda) and the last is kinda more vital with people who are male (AGAB) have you done testosterone filled activity's , mma (judo ,wrestling ,muay thai), heavy labour ect (if you are out of city ,wood chopping ect ) health is very random im a diabetic but these things help me regulate my health , ofc health goes down with age but things like stressors can kill even faster (ashwaganda a good stress reducer naturally increases test indirectly ,and i think so too death isn't peace ,you literally cannot feel it when you die so what is it for you are still in pain until you literally turn your body off you never actually found it ( my perspective not imposing any views on anyone )

i guess being born oh it's gone from Model, Long Legs, please be in my music video to "male" what a turnaround at all that is better than being born a "sub Saharan baboon" like what the mate told me …. Oh gym and strict diet my mum mentioned about this "group admin" to make his "mupengo" do that … Home bound doing nothing at home for 10 years couldn't travel and work oh the stories I could tell. Oh Tina the ex oh those stories ( through a lot a lot) … Yeah true happiness indeed… Anyway I'm just rambling but I wish you all the best with whatever decision you take.

 

[Ambivalent1]

yes i do remember it but forgot some of the keys parts , when i researched about it for a friend it said isometric movements have you tried isometric movements doesn't involve joints just muscle you need to do the form properly tho , and healthcare you working with them? and im sorry i didnt know that but also peoples adaptability differ.

Looks interesting. Healthcare denies the problem exists.

 

[ToTheTwillight]

I think I had more than a share of trying in life to try and get good results, only to get smothered in the face with harsher and harsher reality

 

[Forever Sleep]

No- I probably won't have tried all I could have tried to 'get better'. I definitely won't have put myself through what other people may consider to be an appropriate amount of effort. Other people's pro-life opinions don't really matter to me though. This is my life and my experience.

I'm hanging on currently so as to not upset my Dad. However- in terms of my life and my 'worth' after that- it's up to me. I probably don't feel the obligation to endlessly keep fighting at life. I don't think my life is valuable to me- so- therefore- once the people to whom my CTB would affect are gone- I'll feel less obligated to keep going.

I get the impression you feel like you 'owe it to yourself' type of thing? I don't feel that. I guess because I don't necessarily feel that my life has intrinsic worth. Moreover- I feel like my life belongs to me. So- if I want to stop trying- I'm entitled to.

Each to their own though. I guess some people want to feel like they've fought with everything they had. I suppose I just don't see the reward- presumably more life (and more problems) being worth it. I guess from a religious standpoint though- it makes sense. Religious people seem to think God wants them to endure all that suffering and come out strong- or- reap their reward in heaven.

 

[thrutrekfinaly]

I could be given unlimited money and still choose to exit. My reasons for it is cause after I've experienced everything I care to experience, maybe help a few ppl along the way, I'll still have no desire or reason to continue. The money would only allow me to make haste.

 

[flapjax]

I've been pushing through every obstacle all my life but new health problems, etc appear again and again and fuck up all my progress. It's maddening. I just hope that knowing I did my best can give me the peace I had sought right before the end someday. I don't believe peace is found in death. How can it when death is devoid of experience?

I'll have died doing everything I can. Ive done all I can afford and used more than all the energy I had, so I think I can die having done enough.

 

[DurkheimsCat]

Bingo, I agree with everything that you said …..
Those who enjoy life and are pro life go and enjoy and I hope you enjoy your life till your last day on earth and as for me my happiness is my eternal peace that will last forever.

Exactly! I'm pro-choice which means everyone gets to have their choice as long as you don't impose it on others. For me, ctb is the only rational response to all the chaos and misery in the world. So maybe my absence will make space for someone that wants to endure this.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Well, I did everything I could to live a normal, fun life. I did everything I could to help those I cared about. I never took a day for granted. I'm autistic, but not mentally ill. I don't deem suicidality as synonymous with mental illness. Some cases, it can be. However, if by "get better", you meant live a full life... absolutely. I gave this everything I had.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Well, I did everything I could to live a normal, fun life. I did everything I could to help those I cared about. I never took a day for granted. I'm autistic, but not mentally ill. I don't deem suicidality as synonymous with mental illness. Some cases, it can be. However, if by "get better", you meant live a full life... absolutely. I gave this everything I had.

Did you ultimately fail in your attempt to have a fulfilling life? Because of autism?

 

[blacksand]

Some of us especially older are just aware that no self improvement will help, it's beyond an intellectual thing at this point we just know deep down it's time to return to nothing again and feel a tremendous sense of clarity accepting it.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Some of us especially older are just aware that no self improvement will help, it's beyond an intellectual thing at this point we just know deep down it's time to return to nothing again and feel a tremendous sense of clarity accepting it.

When did that awareness arrive? Waiting until I'm past middle age to have my ah-ha moment sounds awful.

 

[blacksand]

When did that awareness arrive? Waiting until I'm past middle age to have my ah-ha moment sounds awful.

I'm not talking about me so much as others that are a little older. But at 27 I can feel the beginnings of this acceptance, knowing deep inside my bones that this life is all a bunch of BS and simply putting an end to it is the best choice.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I'm not talking about me so much as others that are a little older. But at 27 I can feel the beginnings of this acceptance, knowing deep inside my bones that this life is all a bunch of BS and simply putting an end to it is the best choice.

I thought you were over 50 by your comment.