Mizrable80

Mizrable80

Member
Mar 25, 2020
9
I'm afraid that my suicide will traumatize my younger brother and might cause him to be suicidal which is something I don't want for him. I understand that leaving will hurt a lot of people including my brother but I'm afraid to influence anyone especially him. I did write him a lengthy letter and I want to have a meaningful talk with him but it's really hard to talk about this with him especially if I've been hiding these feelings from him.

Any of you have the same setbacks/fears? How would you go about dealing with this? What's your insight?
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
How old is your brother? Does he look up to you?
 
faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
I am sure my CTB would influence some people. My former friend had 2 CTB attempts so I won't even notify her of my journey, this may trigger her CTB thoughts.
My friend is suicidal since 2017 so my CTB can be a 1 step forward for him, like an example.
I broke up with my gf recently because did not want to trigger her CTB thoughts or just make her realize her bf CTB. She has BPD so triggering CTB thoughts is more than possible in her case.
However, I cannot be responsible for others. These are their lives. But of course I can avoid some things.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
It will crush anyone that cares for you and it may influence those close to you as they suffer in their guilt. There is no way around this. No amount of letters or explanations can prevent this. The best they can do is offer explanation to attempt to foster understanding and an acceptance. But grief and guilt always follow a loss for those that care.
That's not what you want to hear but it's the truth as I see it.
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
It is not at all certain that this will be a bad thing in the long term, because as time moves on, the causal relationships get more and more complex.

You killing yourself could be the reason for the outbreak of WW3, or it could mean that your brother becomes an antinatalist, his wife leaves him because she wants children, marries his best friend and the child she has with him is a genius and discovers a cure for cancer, which might then save your brother from dying.

So, yes, it will probably traumatize him—but it is absolutely impossible to predict what this will mean for him in the long run. It could mean he stays out of some harms way. He could've been run over by a truck if you hadn't killed yourself, but instead he attended your funeral. He could find new meaning within it and do something great.

And in the same vein, you staying around could have grave consequences as well.

I'm not joking btw, I'm serious.
 
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T

toomuchtimetodie

"to be overly conscious is a sickness"
Mar 13, 2020
296
I remember reading an article that they don't rush to disclose the method used when a celebrity ctb because it may influence fans especially those of a similar age if they are suicidal themselves. The article was about Aviccii if anyone knows it or can find it I wouldn't mind looking at it again.
 
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Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
I remember reading an article that they don't rush to disclose the method used when a celebrity ctb because it may influence fans especially those of a similar age if they are suicidal themselves. The article was about Aviccii if anyone knows it or can find it I wouldn't mind looking at it again.
This is true. It is commonly seen as bad journalistic form to disclose a method or any details for fear of triggering copycats.
And it's true. If a famous person can do it then many others feel it must be easy to adopt their technique.
Which is ofc bollocks, but human psychology is what it is.
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
This is true. It is commonly seen as bad journalistic form to disclose a method or any details for fear of triggering copycats.
And it's true. If a famous person can do it then many others feel it must be easy to adopt their technique.
Which is ofc bollocks, but human psychology is what it is.
Yes but that is the result of pro-life ideology.
Yes but that is the result of pro-life ideology.
I could just as well be happy about that, because it means that I have helped people with crucial information on how to end their suffering.
 
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Notabadguy

Notabadguy

Mage
Feb 7, 2020
576
I'm afraid that my suicide will traumatize my younger brother and might cause him to be suicidal which is something I don't want for him. I understand that leaving will hurt a lot of people including my brother but I'm afraid to influence anyone especially him. I did write him a lengthy letter and I want to have a meaningful talk with him but it's really hard to talk about this with him especially if I've been hiding these feelings from him.

Any of you have the same setbacks/fears? How would you go about dealing with this? What's your insight?
It will crush anybody that cares for you. No doubt about that.
 
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LucasG

LucasG

I like frogs
Apr 18, 2020
7
it will definitely influence him.
 
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ExitStageLeft

ExitStageLeft

Experienced
Mar 7, 2020
233
Outside your immediate context, probably not. However, if the financial aftermath of this pandemic is what I think it is, there will be a rash of suicides anyway.
 
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Mizrable80

Mizrable80

Member
Mar 25, 2020
9
How old is your brother? Does he look up to you?
He's 19 and I'm not sure if he looks up to me but I know he enjoys being around me and we have our good times. I feel ashamed that he sees me the way I am and I haven't accomplished anything.
It will crush anyone that cares for you and it may influence those close to you as they suffer in their guilt. There is no way around this. No amount of letters or explanations can prevent this. The best they can do is offer explanation to attempt to foster understanding and an acceptance. But grief and guilt always follow a loss for those that care.
That's not what you want to hear but it's the truth as I see it.
I guess I just have to think about my actions more and try my best to comfort the ones I care before I go. I'll eventually get over this or not....
 
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Lastravel

Lastravel

Member
Feb 23, 2020
95
Excellent question.
My answer may disturb some of you so be aware that it could worsen your state of mind if you follow reading.



If you have a caring family, close friends, etc... I won't lie, it will be terrible for them, there is no doubt about it. People around you could feel anger, guilt, frustration, betrayal... they may feel ten times the pain you're going through yourself. This is extremly sad.
Even with time going on, the pain will be part of their life. It is devastating and unpredictable. This is the main reason I'm not being impulsif right now. I have to find a way to reduce the pain for my family.

Today I wrote a letter, it wasn't part of my plan, now I'm trying to look for testimonial of people having a loss (especially from parents and siblings ). Each time I try to guess what my parents would feel, I end up crying. On the opposite I don't give shit about my own death. My aunt passed away few month ago from cancer, I didn't feel anything, while my dad (his brother) was really sad. I guess it mainly depends on how you can relate to people, what relations you have had with them, what reason bring them to die and how they did, if they suffered, the way you hear their death, and so many others things you can't control. I know it's not pleasant to hear this but I would rather chose to know this in order to try minimizing the family or friends circle pain.

Besides some of us may have altered emotions, in my case because of schizophrenia, I have unaproprial or lack of emotions. I know this is not a "normal" brain reaction.

I wrote bad english hope it won't be misunderstood.
 
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blivogade

blivogade

Member
Nov 7, 2019
88
Unfortunately yes, it will affect everyone around you even those you may not have known.
its the one thing thats holding me back, the idea of my actions affecting my family and friends is tough and something that will probably take me a while to come to terms with.
 
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I

I screwed up

Waiting for the damn bus
Sep 11, 2019
883
Unfortunately yes, it will affect everyone around you even those you may not have known.
its the one thing thats holding me back, the idea of my actions affecting my family and friends is tough and something that will probably take me a while to come to terms with.
Exactly my situation
 
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