Discussion Will it be less traumatic to my family if i did it in a hotel \ motel?

[Unknown21]

I'm thinking about doing it in a hotel just to spare my family this traumatic event. What would be less shocking, my family finding my dead body and then burying me, or the police calling them and telling them I'm in the morgue?
I think both options are bad, but I don't know which is less harmful to them.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Obviously having someone else besides your family discover the body would be less traumatic for them. Ideally a police officer should find it as this is part of their job. Chances are, they will probably see a dead body sometime in their career anyway and they don't know you personally.

 

[Darkover]

Your thoughts about minimizing harm to your family are understandable, but it's important to realize that both situations would likely be extremely painful for them. The impact of losing someone this way can be profound, no matter how they receive the news.

 

[Unknown21]

Obviously having someone else besides your family discover the body would be less traumatic for them. Ideally a police officer should find it as this is part of their job. Chances are, they will probably see a dead body sometime in their career anyway and they don't know you personally.

The moment my family receives the news, will it be as shocking as if they found my dead body?

Honestly, when I imagine this moment, my heart beats faster and I get anxious.

Your thoughts about minimizing harm to your family are understandable, but it's important to realize that both situations would likely be extremely painful for them. The impact of losing someone this way can be profound, no matter how they receive the news.

Of course, the event will be shocking and painful, but I will do what I can to minimize it. I do not want anyone to suffer because of me, especially my siblings.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Are you loved? If so, it'll be traumatic either way. I suppose not finding you and not seeing your body would be "less traumatic", though. At least they wouldn't have that image seared into their minds for the rest of their lives.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

This is what I will probably end up doing. I don't want someone I know to be the one to find me.

 

[Unknown21]

Are you loved? If so, it'll be traumatic either way. I suppose not finding you and not seeing your body would be "less traumatic", though. At least they wouldn't have that image seared into their minds for the rest of their lives.

No, I am not loved by my family especially my parents, only my siblings, I have a good relationship with them, and I feel that the news will be difficult for them.

I suppose not finding you and not seeing your body would be "less traumatic", though. At least they wouldn't have that image seared into their minds for the rest of their lives.

But they'll have to identify my body and see me dead eventually, right.

Idk, but I think they have no escape.

 

[rozeske]

I think it's the better option, although you have to accept everything surrounding suicide is going to be hard on them. They don't necessary need to identify your body if you have your id card with you and you look recognizable, it's not a common requirement, but if they do, it will be a choice and they will be ready to see your body unlike suddenly stumbling up on it and be traumatised.

 

[Unknown21]

I think it's the better option, although you have to accept everything surrounding suicide is going to be hard on them. They don't necessary need to identify your body if you have your id card with you and you look recognizable, it's not a common requirement, but if they do, it will be a choice and they will be ready to see your body unlike suddenly stumbling up on it and be traumatised.

Right, I think that's the best option too. I hope they get through it peacefully. Thank you for your response and understanding.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think a hotel is the better option. You can always try to protect the people there by putting a sign up to alert authorities too.

Yes, I expect someone from your family would still be called to identify you but, they would be going in knowing that's what they were about to do. They wouldn't just be walking into the living room or wherever you would plan to do it at home. I doubt- following that they would be able to dissasociate that room with that sight.

The only thing I can think of where it may be of more comfort would be a sense that they wish they could have been there right at the end. Sometimes, you do get the sense that loved ones want to be able to do stuff for their family members- even after death. Maybe it helps with closure or something. But, you think how families will go to great lengths to take care of the remains.

Still, it would be obvious that you had chosen to go to a hotel to spare them the trauma so, I would have thought they'd be grateful for that.

 

[Raven_Nevermore]

I've actually considered a nearby cemetery. From the road it appears no one has visited their deceased loved ones in years. There is no wall or fence of any kind surrounding it. It's maybe 30 or 40 or so yards from the main street. Whenever we drive past there, I see there's a gazebo there.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I'm very positive than being told by police would be less traumatic than seeing a dead body with your own eyes, so I think hotel option would cause less direct trauma.

 

[awaitinglove]

i feel like no and yes because i'm in the same boar as yo. Obviously it will be more traumatic if they find you, but also hearing about the news of your death will be painful in general which can lead to trauma. Regardless of whatever we decide it could hurt one person or more //: it depends on the feelings though, cause it could all be fine for u and others but not for everyone lol

 

[locked*n*loaded]

But they'll have to identify my body and see me dead eventually, right.

Idk, but I think they have no escape.

Probably true. Often it is done through a video or photo now, not actual viewing of the body.

 

[absolutelyyou]

Both are going to be unimaginably painful for them, I'm so sorry. However I will say from experience- my aunt found my mom after she took her own life via gunshot and even though it was non gore-y scene she is still far more scarred from having found her than I was from getting a call from the local police chief compassionately as possible letting me know that my mother was found deceased and only after asking to know what happened did he as softly as he possibly could let me know she took her own life. Both routes will cause pain but I do think one is the obvious winner.

 

[Unknown21]

Both are going to be unimaginably painful for them, I'm so sorry. However I will say from experience- my aunt found my mom after she took her own life via gunshot and even though it was non gore-y scene she is still far more scarred from having found her than I was from getting a call from the local police chief compassionately as possible letting me know that my mother was found deceased and only after asking to know what happened did he as softly as he possibly could let me know she took her own life. Both routes will cause pain but I do think one is the obvious winner.

I am truly sorry for your loss, your mom is now at peace. I think you are right, both options are painful, but there is one that is less painful.

 

[willitpass]

I plan on going to a hotel even though I live alone. I don't want anyone I care about coming to do a welfare check on me and stumbling upon my body. If I have the energy I'll put up a curtain and sign in the hotel room warning that there is a dead body and to alert authorities without entering. That would spare the minimum wage hotel workers from seeing that. If I'm honest I don't know if I'll have it in me to be bothered to rig that all up. The hotel I'm staying at doesn't have an entry walkway or anything into the rooms so to set up a curtain would take some time and a little creativity, which at this stage of desperation I may not have. At worst a hotel worker finds me, at best no one sees me until first responders arrive.

 

[ladylazarus4]

I plan on going to a hotel even though I live alone. I don't want anyone I care about coming to do a welfare check on me and stumbling upon my body. If I have the energy I'll put up a curtain and sign in the hotel room warning that there is a dead body and to alert authorities without entering. That would spare the minimum wage hotel workers from seeing that. If I'm honest I don't know if I'll have it in me to be bothered to rig that all up. The hotel I'm staying at doesn't have an entry walkway or anything into the rooms so to set up a curtain would take some time and a little creativity, which at this stage of desperation I may not have. At worst a hotel worker finds me, at best no one sees me until first responders arrive.

would there be a risk of someone seeing the sign and calling emergency services before you die?

 

[willitpass]

would there be a risk of someone seeing the sign and calling emergency services before you die?

The sign would be inside my hotel room. I'm booking an extra day longer than I anticipate needing and will put the do not disturb tag on the door, so no reason anyone should be coming in until I miss check out.

 

[Nikitatos]

Seems like suicidal people are more considerate and caring than the general population. That's nice that you want to make things as easy as possible for those you leave behind.

I've always thought that being an uncaring, unfeeling, self-centered jackass makes it easier to succeed in life. Psychopaths seem to do well in life.

 

[kyhoti]

My grandfather found his brother after a CO attempt, note and everything. Years later, he found my mother after an intentional OD in his house. It fucked him up enough that he sold that place.

I'm planning on CTB outside, in the woods, to spare the lovely ladies here at my motel. No matter how or where I go down the slide, those who care about me will have feelings. It's part of life. I hope I can manage it gracefully.

 

[ADBoy777]

I think it's much less traumatic for them to see your actual body especially if the method effects the body visually(like SN turns the color to blue shades) it will ease the reaction a bit Imo

 

[Unknown21]

I'm planning on CTB outside, in the woods, to spare the lovely ladies here at my motel

I would love to do it in the woods too but unfortunately there is no such thing where I live. wish you luck and peace.