For some of us, suicide is one of the options. What if there is something that can be done to stop your suicide? Would you be willing to live if someone can help you? If yes, please say how..
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I'm fighting for a brain surgery. If it works as intended, I will regain my freedom, and once I regain my freedom I will have no reason to ctb.
Maybe, however, the fear of growing old and helpless will get to me.
SinisterKid
Visionary
- Jun 1, 2019
- 2,113
Immediately after my 1st and nearly successful attempt, there was a queue at my door wanting to give help. I accepted it all. Group therapy was great, it gave me some purpose. The case workers were great, I had a wonderful rapport with one of them. The first little head doc was great, he actually listened and thought about what he heard. Suddenly, I had more hope than I had had for a long time.
But slowly, as you try to recover, the help dries up and is replaced by, well, nothing very much. The one place I went where I felt I fit in, closed, funding withdrawn. The little head doc moved on and the others I saw were just not in the same ball park. Therapy decided I was "stable" so it all stopped. Medical professionals cannot do anything about the physical stuff.
So began the slow decline to where I am now, more or less back to square one. The only real difference will be, I am now much more educated about suicide and am determined the next attempt will be the last.
But slowly, as you try to recover, the help dries up and is replaced by, well, nothing very much. The one place I went where I felt I fit in, closed, funding withdrawn. The little head doc moved on and the others I saw were just not in the same ball park. Therapy decided I was "stable" so it all stopped. Medical professionals cannot do anything about the physical stuff.
So began the slow decline to where I am now, more or less back to square one. The only real difference will be, I am now much more educated about suicide and am determined the next attempt will be the last.
Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
Hello @Dino007. Can I ask why you're asking? Let us know a little about yourself and your situation before we get to the heavy petting, okay?
Hi.. I am asking because I am in kinda similar situation. I know some help can may be stop me from killing myself.. But not sure if I will recieve it
Money. I'm in a terrible financial situation.
But even just the relief from the constant anxiety and regret and remorse would help greatly. Someone told me that sometimes the miracle isn't that something just falls into your lap, sometime's it's a shift in perspective.
I'm praying for that too.
But even just the relief from the constant anxiety and regret and remorse would help greatly. Someone told me that sometimes the miracle isn't that something just falls into your lap, sometime's it's a shift in perspective.
I'm praying for that too.
Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
Is it some specific kind of help you're looking for? What are the barriers to getting it?
If you'd prefer being helped rather than killing yourself, then by all means seek help.
My situation is all messed up. I am emotionally dependent heavily on one person and the thought of losing him is making me lose all the hope. Noo therapy or meds is helping me.
I would. If something would be able to kill the pain instead of me. If anyone could demote all the corrupt politicians to the coal miners. If people would be kind to each other and stop trying to be opportunistic sycophants. If something could erase my memories, selectively if possible. I can't stop thinking about the agonizing first and also the last post from the tragic methanol guy earlier. My mind is a dumpster fire that just wont go out.
I think only divine intervention can help me. If there is such thing.
I always been dependent emotionally on one person. First it was my brother - when he moved out I've got first depression episode. Than it was my first and only girlfriend - when we broke up I had suicide attempt. Now my mother tries to support me and be with me. But in 6 months she will have to go back to country where she lives - and probably then I will snap again and CTB :(
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I can so much relate to this. I have a very sharp brain and I am realizing that its just a curse. I remember every single thing that keeps hurting me back. Just cant stop them,
Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
@Dino007, are you getting treatment now? Have you told your doctor it's not helping? Maybe another doctor and/or another form of treatment will be more helpful.
I'm sorry you're struggling.
I'm sorry you're struggling.
@Soul, I have no hope at all. I would like to share my story but not in an open forum. Is there a way to PM? Where are you from? Are you looking to CTB?
Nice
Member
- Jun 11, 2019
- 18
More complicated than that.. He keeps going back and forth and making me an emotional wreck. I know that many people ask me to move on from such a toxic guy. But I am just not able to. I love him with all my heart.
Weems
Experienced
- May 5, 2019
- 204
As usual, I feel like we're in a similar boat. Every day I agonize over how I wasted my college years. Did I say day? I meant minute.
Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
You have to be here for a few days before you can use private messaging. You don't have to talk about yourself if you don't want to, but if we don't know your situation it's hard to offer relevant responses.
I had my heart broken by someone who kept disappearing and reappearing. I understand that you don't want to stop loving him; it's his love that's low quality, not yours. But that doesn't fix the situation.
What is it that you want to do?
You just stole my words Soul. My love is beautiful and I dont want to lose it.
Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
There you are, then. It's your love that you treasure. It's an attribute of who you are. When you forgive, it's because you're a compassionate person. It's you.
It would be easier if the man you love were capable of something similar, but apparently he isn't. That hurts but it doesn't have to kill you.
I just don't know why I wasn't wired like everyone else. I wish I could have a second chance. I'm trying hard to hold it together but I'm terrified it's too late.
Maybe if I felt like I had close relationships, that I was able to open up and act appropriately with people I would stick around. But i'm an emotional Retard
inconsequential
Enlightened
- Jun 1, 2019
- 1,011
Y'all got any more of them new bodies with functioning organ systems?
Hey there, you replied to my post on the partners forum. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but we're in the same state. I put my kik on your page.
Rose
ad finitum
- Nov 11, 2018
- 96
An immense amount of help could fix some of my issues, and give me at least a reason to continue on for a while (though a lot of my reasons are completely external to myself, and impossible to fix at all or at least in my lifetime).
The problem is that it's not reasonable for me to expect that help from other people. If it breaks me so much, I understand why it ends up just frustrating other people and potentially pulling them down with me. Especially since from many perspectives (especially of the people who think they have the energy to make them capable of helping) it's extremely simple.
There's truth in it when they say that it's at least partially my fault, for acting & thinking how I do. The only thing is people can't seem to look at it from my perspective. I'm frustrated too. It's not so simple as just "putting a little bit of effort in" when it's literally part of my core being that's contributing to it. I can't just change who I am, or how I view the world. I can't just ignore everything that I don't like. It's everything but simple. It's everything.
Point is, yeah help could keep me alive longer, but I don't think it's worth it for anyone involved, and I think it's quite unrealistic of me to expect it (at least to the extent that I'd need).
I'd likely reach the same conclusion in the end, anyway, and it's very possible that I could end up dragging someone down with me.
I'm not saying any of this is inherently true for anyone else, it's obviously very nuanced & specific.
The problem is that it's not reasonable for me to expect that help from other people. If it breaks me so much, I understand why it ends up just frustrating other people and potentially pulling them down with me. Especially since from many perspectives (especially of the people who think they have the energy to make them capable of helping) it's extremely simple.
There's truth in it when they say that it's at least partially my fault, for acting & thinking how I do. The only thing is people can't seem to look at it from my perspective. I'm frustrated too. It's not so simple as just "putting a little bit of effort in" when it's literally part of my core being that's contributing to it. I can't just change who I am, or how I view the world. I can't just ignore everything that I don't like. It's everything but simple. It's everything.
Point is, yeah help could keep me alive longer, but I don't think it's worth it for anyone involved, and I think it's quite unrealistic of me to expect it (at least to the extent that I'd need).
I'd likely reach the same conclusion in the end, anyway, and it's very possible that I could end up dragging someone down with me.
I'm not saying any of this is inherently true for anyone else, it's obviously very nuanced & specific.
Help me? When they themselves dont even know what they want or need? When they dont even know or understand themselves? How can people like that ever hope to help anyone when they cant even help themselves? Their half ass emotions and half ass words can never help anyone. They can just save that up their own ass. I dont need that idiocy. Everything they do is nothing but lies. Intentions be damn if they dont have the conviction to see it through. I know what I want and I will wont settle for anything less. I have had enough.
mamiko9399
Member
- Jun 14, 2019
- 20
If ppl will listen me when I was 8-9yrs old -yeah.But they didn't and get let things happens,maybe even it's as well my fault that I not screamed enough laud...but well...
It's not happens so
It's not happens so
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
I have already accepted every form of "help" available from the system. All of it except my pension has hurt far more than it helped, and that, they lied to me about regarding my eligibility for 15 years while they watched me struggle on the street. We live in a disgusting predatory society where even the people whose job is to "help" are nothing but conniving monsters who care about nothing but their own profit.
Fuck society, fuck people, FUCK "HELP".
The only thing that would make me less suicidal would be enough money to live in complete isolation for the rest of my life. I could do it with very little, half a million. COMPLETE isolation. Even then I would eventually get old and weak and the vultures in the "care" system would come back to exploit me, so I would still eventually have to ctb to avoid that.
Fuck society, fuck people, FUCK "HELP".
The only thing that would make me less suicidal would be enough money to live in complete isolation for the rest of my life. I could do it with very little, half a million. COMPLETE isolation. Even then I would eventually get old and weak and the vultures in the "care" system would come back to exploit me, so I would still eventually have to ctb to avoid that.
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Crystal Labeija
Experienced
- Jun 3, 2019
- 216
A good job that pays well and doesn't make me want to jump out of a window. A large social circle. Enough money for good therapy. More say in shaping my future.
thedutchguy
Slowly drowing
- Jun 5, 2019
- 114
No I don't think it can turn my mind around. Maybe a 2% chance on it. But won't see that happen with my mind made up mostly.
Every time I do try , to hold on proven that I can't trust no one. My health is fed up. Social don't care anymore. Slowly working towards the end and it ease my mind.
I give it sometime but slowly I get to the point for CTB.
Every time I do try , to hold on proven that I can't trust no one. My health is fed up. Social don't care anymore. Slowly working towards the end and it ease my mind.
I give it sometime but slowly I get to the point for CTB.
