Venting Whyyyyyyyy

[Wezzy777]

I hate it.
I wish I could just change things.
The people in my life who are supposed to be helping me AREN'T helping. They're making everything WORSE. And it's not like it's on purpose (besides my brother, maybe) hut it's j Sir how they are.
But they seem to hate me and I hate how it's justified and I hate how If I'm not dead I'll have to see them again.
And I can't even blame my mom for having me because she was practically forced to. But just directing my anger at my dad is just so hard.
Their both messed me up messed up my brother and now we're both screwed and we both did messed up things. I'm probably worse though.
Uughn
I just want to go! Today was probably the most suicidal I've felt in awhile. Now I'm just Neutral, I guess. I don't want to die too badly anymore.
But at the same to me I know he'll come back worse and my issues will just come to slap me in the face. So I should just do it.
I hate having a roommate, I should be just gotten a studio apartment. Then I'd be alone all the time.

Ughnnhn. I don't know. When I say I want to die it isn't for attention. I'm so serious. I just sent to go. Because everything is getting SO bad. I can practically Invision my future getting worse.
Maybe something horrible can happen to me later on today where I just fucking kill myself already. I hope that happens. I deserve it.

I don't know what his post is. Mostly just anger at me for going back on hanging myself. It felt it and I was scared. As if I prefer living?? . I could've been dead 7 hours ago. Ughhhnn.
Or i don't know. I just want things to stop, or to have never existed at all.

 

[tbh2023]

I hate it.
I wish I could just change things.
The people in my life who are supposed to be helping me AREN'T helping. They're making everything WORSE. And it's not like it's on purpose (besides my brother, maybe) hut it's j Sir how they are.
But they seem to hate me and I hate how it's justified and I hate how If I'm not dead I'll have to see them again.
And I can't even blame my mom for having me because she was practically forced to. But just directing my anger at my dad is just so hard.
Their both messed me up messed up my brother and now we're both screwed and we both did messed up things. I'm probably worse though.
Uughn
I just want to go! Today was probably the most suicidal I've felt in awhile. Now I'm just Neutral, I guess. I don't want to die too badly anymore.
But at the same to me I know he'll come back worse and my issues will just come to slap me in the face. So I should just do it.
I hate having a roommate, I should be just gotten a studio apartment. Then I'd be alone all the time.

Ughnnhn. I don't know. When I say I want to die it isn't for attention. I'm so serious. I just sent to go. Because everything is getting SO bad. I can practically Invision my future getting worse.
Maybe something horrible can happen to me later on today where I just fucking kill myself already. I hope that happens. I deserve it.

I don't know what his post is. Mostly just anger at me for going back on hanging myself. It felt it and I was scared. As if I prefer living?? . I could've been dead 7 hours ago. Ughhhnn.
Or i don't know. I just want things to stop, or to have never existed at all.

To kill yourself is very hard. That's why we all still here so you're not alone. I'm suicidal but I just can't kill myself.

 

[Anonymousa]

The indecision of wanting to live or to die is very painful. It can make you keep going through this cycle of hope and despair and for me that's more painful than just sticking to one or the other. Its understand to want to die cus we are desperate to escape the pain we are in but we might want to stick with life cus of our brain tries to see the potential for it to change for the better and SI stopping our suicides. Things could change for the better but its also okay to quit now as avoid future pain. If you want to try ctbing later then you said you are still able to so you don't have to worry about a potential escape plan from life's pain not being able to be done in the future.

I am sorry most people don't understand your pain and suicidal thoughts but here on this site are people that will understand and listen to what you have to say.

 

[Wezzy777]

The indecision of wanting to live or to die is very painful. It can make you keep going through this cycle of hope and despair and for me that's more painful than just sticking to one or the other. Its understand to want to die cus we are desperate to escape the pain we are in but we might want to stick with life cus of our brain tries to see the potential for it to change for the better and SI stopping our suicides. Things could change for the better but its also okay to quit now as avoid future pain. If you want to try ctbing later then you said you are still able to so you don't have to worry about a potential escape plan from life's pain not being able to be done in the future.

I am sorry most people don't understand your pain and suicidal thoughts but here on this site are people that will understand and listen to what you have to say.

Yeah, it just sucks. I wish I could just take..hesitation put of my brain or something.

And thank you. I like this site Becuas soft how I can say these things compared to there which I'd her banned or something. Talking always helps through the hopeless, I guess.