TheDevilsAngel
LetMeFree
- Apr 22, 2019
- 768
Why can't he leave me alone... My ex that is.... He is doing everything in his power to break me even more than I already am.... How long can someone chip a way at another person before they can't take anymore.....
I'm in bits today, so I'll start with what happened.... I woke this morning to find pages of things ex had written I did not read them because the last time it was all crap.... I had to go to the shop to get change... I had a reed on my door for Xmas it was gone.... I found it out the back he threw it over the gate.... So u went to the shop and when I got home notice a green leafy thing I have outside door gone... Was at side the house..... I continued u about my day not feeling good..... At 4 today my phone lost signal I couldn't figure it out.... I got one customer care and discovered someone (ex) had bought a sim and used my number... It can be reversed but prob not til 26th...my heart sunk... All my phone calls messages etc on it then he logged into my email and what'sapp had messages on them.... I feel so violated and on top of it earlier today he was emailing me pretending to be someone saying they were coming to my house and they have the address that I give them.... I know it wasn't me.... I had so many messages just from sister and girl across road my nurses men for weed.... He is so cruel to do this... I'm a mess a rang guards why I don't know did it after two different suicide helplines advised me... I'm so alone no one has a answer no one can help.... I have to get the toys out for kids for santa... How long can I do this pretending.... I'm worried about sleeping tonight and did not sleep much last night.... I tell myself I'm my own person he does not own me nor has he the right to control me anymore... Am I right? I feel he is way out of line and im starting to worry about my safety and what he will do next..... Its just lucky I had another phone otherwise it would be impossible to even ring my mother..... He does not know about this phone... I had missed call from private number it was him I no because I was talking to girl across road and she had missed call off private around same time... He is randomly ringing people's numbers.... I mean I ring lots from nurses to coal man etc... I'm so afraid
I just want to go.... My birthday is coming up I can't stop thinking about it... I don't want to cut I'm trying to stop, two weeks now.... But I so desperately want to get a rope and tie it around my neck and be done with this.... I suffer enough, he does not need to make it worse... And the voices who do I listen to... Leave me alone I can't take this!!!! I thought to vent may help but it didn't im so torn between living for my kids and ending it all.... I've tried over and over again just to do my best.... But the kids they need me if it was up to there dad they would not even have a toy for Xmas or clothes or food and heat and electric.... I'm trying my best why must I suffer....
Happy Christmas to everybody here (my spirit is dead and its all about acting tomorrow but for anyone looking forward I hope ye have a good day)
I'm in bits today, so I'll start with what happened.... I woke this morning to find pages of things ex had written I did not read them because the last time it was all crap.... I had to go to the shop to get change... I had a reed on my door for Xmas it was gone.... I found it out the back he threw it over the gate.... So u went to the shop and when I got home notice a green leafy thing I have outside door gone... Was at side the house..... I continued u about my day not feeling good..... At 4 today my phone lost signal I couldn't figure it out.... I got one customer care and discovered someone (ex) had bought a sim and used my number... It can be reversed but prob not til 26th...my heart sunk... All my phone calls messages etc on it then he logged into my email and what'sapp had messages on them.... I feel so violated and on top of it earlier today he was emailing me pretending to be someone saying they were coming to my house and they have the address that I give them.... I know it wasn't me.... I had so many messages just from sister and girl across road my nurses men for weed.... He is so cruel to do this... I'm a mess a rang guards why I don't know did it after two different suicide helplines advised me... I'm so alone no one has a answer no one can help.... I have to get the toys out for kids for santa... How long can I do this pretending.... I'm worried about sleeping tonight and did not sleep much last night.... I tell myself I'm my own person he does not own me nor has he the right to control me anymore... Am I right? I feel he is way out of line and im starting to worry about my safety and what he will do next..... Its just lucky I had another phone otherwise it would be impossible to even ring my mother..... He does not know about this phone... I had missed call from private number it was him I no because I was talking to girl across road and she had missed call off private around same time... He is randomly ringing people's numbers.... I mean I ring lots from nurses to coal man etc... I'm so afraid
I just want to go.... My birthday is coming up I can't stop thinking about it... I don't want to cut I'm trying to stop, two weeks now.... But I so desperately want to get a rope and tie it around my neck and be done with this.... I suffer enough, he does not need to make it worse... And the voices who do I listen to... Leave me alone I can't take this!!!! I thought to vent may help but it didn't im so torn between living for my kids and ending it all.... I've tried over and over again just to do my best.... But the kids they need me if it was up to there dad they would not even have a toy for Xmas or clothes or food and heat and electric.... I'm trying my best why must I suffer....
Happy Christmas to everybody here (my spirit is dead and its all about acting tomorrow but for anyone looking forward I hope ye have a good day)
