The same people who say shit like 'it's your life, live it how you wanna' are the same ones who are anti suicide.
I am in another controversial community and asked for help with a major issue I am having. I prefaced it by saying that it came up because ctb is a rational solution to the issues we face in that community, but
could the same issues continue post-death, whether ctb or other causes? Made it clear to all that the underlined was the focus. Made it clear that if no one else had considered it and the crickets chirped, I would let it go and we could continue to another subject.
Most couldn't address the post-death question, so I suggested we move on. Wait a beat, then the conversation shifted to what people felt capable of addressing.
One responded that if you can't change the situation, and you don't know what happens after, then live the best life you can in what is.
It is her way of coping that works for her. I am considering it. There is still a small bit of best life, such as engaging on this forum. For her the worst does not yet sufficiently outweigh the best life she can live.
After that, the conversation rapidly deteriorated. Some were triggered by my bringing up ctb. A couple actually attacked, said such talk is not welcome, negated me, suggested I go to other resources for support, and gave me the impression that for them I turned into a monster, rather than seeing that the monster is the cause our suffering to the point that many of us do consider, and some ultimately choose, ctb because there is no other solution and the suffering is too immense. I did not pull their slot machines of hope that they are still relying on, like a loving god or a higher purpose or having any agency in the outcome.
What was positive for me was the confidence I've gotten from engaging here. I maintained my position and did not let them derail my thread, my purpose. When one claimed the venue was pro-life, I questioned if *it* was pro-life or if *she* was? Then she fired back, "Well what is then? Pro *death*?? And I responded, "What about pro-choice?" I said many times to move on from the conversation. A few others wanted to get their digs in, I maintained reason and repeated the suggestion to move on. We were all finally allowed to when the accusatory woman said to. It was clear she needed the power of the last word. I was already in my power, I let her have it. (The last word, that is.)
The whole thing was quite a study in conversations and how people need to empower the illusions that falsely empower them when the monster threatens. For many ctb is the monster rather than what causes it, and the one who does it or considers it becomes monstrous as well. By engaging with ctb, I got some of my power back, and I made into something smaller and non-threatening - a tool that may or may not be the best answer to my challenges. Just because I have a hammer, doesn't mean I've turned the challenge into a nail. But a hammer may be the only viable tool even if it isn't a nail.
And to make sure I stay on the topic of the thread, if ctb is my only viable solution, as it is for many situations, then it would be so damn nice if it were legal and safe. Safe options exist, the legality does not. Until it does, the solution itself is another huge problem.
