Venting why the hell do therapists say things like this??

[therhydler]

I thought she would be the first therapist I could like, or at least openly talk to. Since I am a bit crippled after my first attempt the first question is always what happened to me and I have to say. The first thing she said was "most people in our society seem to look down on suicide and don't accept it as a solution". I nodded. "But I disagree" she went on. I opened my eyes wide in disbelief. "I think everyone should have the right to decide about their own lives." Finally, I thought, I have found an acceptable therapist!

She went on to say that she has read lots of accounts of NDEs and as a person is drifting off towards death they always encounter a heavenly angel, full o light, ready to take them into their arms. "BUT" she said, and she gave me a very grave look, "the accounts of NDEs of people who attempted suicide are terribly frightening. They don't encounter an angel, instead they get stuck in an endless limbo and the thoughts and feelings that pushed them towards suicide are repeated over and over and over again... that doesn't sound very pleasant, does it?"

Well, fuck off. This is the second therapist (out of 3 I have been to) to have told me something like this. Do they really think this helps in ANY way??? "Scaring" people out of suicide? I am 100% certain I will ctb. And I don't need people who I go to for help to be telling me stories like this. Even if it is true.... The most help I have found is here, where I could for the first time talk openly about my feelings and about suicide. Why are so many therapists morons.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Damn. She sounds like a total bitch. I hope you manage to find a better therapist. I've had my share of awful and useless therapists. One of them used to stare at me intently as if she was trying to enter my mind. To the point where I felt my space being invaded.

The last one used my trauma in order to train her team of newbies and then dumped me with no warning. Added to that, she couldn't even deal with my level of trauma anyway so I wasted a whole year with her. Fuck em all (apart from the FEW good ones).

 

[therhydler]

Damn. She sounds like a total bitch. I hope you manage to find a better therapist. I've had my share of awful and useless therapists. One of them used to stare at me intently as if she was trying to enter my mind. To the point where I felt my space being invaded. The last one used my trauma in order to train her team of newbies and them dumped me. Added to that, she couldn't even deal with my level of trauma anyway so I wasted a whole year with her. Fuck em all (apart from the FEW good ones).

Wow, I'm sorry you had such bad experiences :( that sucks

 

[Aesthler]

Why? I dunno, maybe because fear mongering is a common tactic used by every institution to try and control behavior. I wouldn't believe a word of it, keep fighting the good fight.

 

[15dec]

Ugh, that sounds so awful! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you can find a better therapist too, there are definitely good ones out there! My counsellor was nice (though the cbt didn't work) so I was pretty lucky and I hope you find someone caring too. I've found most of my support here as well so at least we have SS :)

Imo the reason why therapists (and people in general) resort to saying things like that is to try and scare you into doing what they want. I understand not wanting others to ctb of course but there are better ways to go about it, instead of guilting or scaring the suicidal person and making them feel worse. I've had similar things, a mental health worker telling me if I carried on being suicidal nobody would ever employ me (as if I woke up one day and decided I was going to pretend to be suicidal for the next few years of my life, or that I could just stop feeling that way), and my parents telling me that if I ctb they will as well, and once saying we could 'do it together' when I had a breakdown. People just suck sometimes really.

 

[NoOneKnows]

and why do you bother with therapist if you as you said are "100percent certain" you are going to ctb ?

 

[JustAboutDone]

and why do you bother with therapist if you as you said are "100percent certain" you are going to ctb ?

I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive. People can be 100% set on ctb but still go about daily business to keep up illusions for other people - or even themselves - until the bus arrives.

 

[JustAboutDone]

@therhydler, I'm sorry you had a tedious time of it. Sometimes it's really hard to know where therapists are coming from, isn't it?

Was she trying to "guilt you" into staying? Or make you think or what! Either way, it sounds horribly close to unethical to me. What evidential proof does she have of anything? I'm afraid I just don't believe for a second that any bad things happen to people who commit suicide. God, or another other power - or anything - knows anyone who ctb would only do so after suffering immense pain so there is no way they would be made to suffer more.

Xxx to you

 

[therhydler]

@therhydler, I'm sorry you had a tedious time of it. Sometimes it's really hard to know where therapists are coming from, isn't it?

Was she trying to "guilt you" into staying? Or make you think or what! Either way, it sounds horribly close to unethical to me. What evidential proof does she have of anything? I'm afraid I just don't believe for a second that any bad things happen to people who commit suicide. God, or another other power - or anything - knows anyone who ctb would only do so after suffering immense pain so there is no way they would be made to suffer more.

Yeah, I think so too... it's just doesn't make sense that you would get punished for suffering so much...

 

[therhydler]

@therhydler, I'm sorry you had a tedious time of it. Sometimes it's really hard to know where therapists are coming from, isn't it?

Was she trying to "guilt you" into staying? Or make you think or what! Either way, it sounds horribly close to unethical to me. What evidential proof does she have of anything? I'm afraid I just don't believe for a second that any bad things happen to people who commit suicide. God, or another other power - or anything - knows anyone who ctb would only do so after suffering immense pain so there is no way they would be made to suffer more.

Xxx to you

The other therapist put it like this - she said committing suicide is like taking your coat off in the freezing cold. I don't think I have a coat to take off though... so no

 

[Johnnythefox]

they always encounter a heavenly angel

This screams "Jesus freak" to me, did she have a bible beside her or a crucifix round her neck?
Only a believer in the bearded one up in the clouds would say that, I would suggest a therapist who is an atheist.

 

[JustAboutDone]

did she have a bible beside her or a crucifix round her neck?.

Lollll

 

[therhydler]

This screams "Jesus freak" to me, did she have a bible beside her or a crucifix round her neck?
Only a believer in the bearded one up in the clouds would say that, I would suggest a therapist who is an atheist.

Haha no, and she said she is not religious. But she was dressed head to toe in lavender and the walls were lavender and lavender flowers were everywhere... it was a bit creepy tbh

 

[JustAboutDone]

Haha no, and she said she is not religious. But she was dressed head to toe in lavender and the walls were lavender and lavender flowers were everywhere... it was a bit creepy tbh

You did very well not to turn and run!!

 

[Johnnythefox]

Haha no, and she said she is not religious. But she was dressed head to toe in lavender and the walls were lavender and lavender flowers were everywhere... it was a bit creepy tbh

Yeah, sounds like a lavenderian! Those are the worst ones.

 

[therhydler]

Yeah, sounds like a lavenderian! Those are the worst ones.

Lol

 

[Johnnythefox]

If you are in the UK then you could use this to find a therapist, my understanding is that these are licensed therapists.
https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk

 

[therhydler]

If you are in the UK then you could use this to find a therapist, my understanding is that these are licensed therapists.
https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk

Unfortunately I'm not but thank you :)

 

[JustAboutDone]

If you are in the UK then you could use this to find a therapist, my understanding is that these are licensed therapists.
https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk

Whom, hopefully, do not have a thing for lavender

 

[NoOneKnows]

I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive. People can be 100% set on ctb but still go about daily business to keep up illusions for other people - or even themselves - until the bus arrives.

aha , just i dont think there are many therapists that would accept and try to heal patient that is 100%certain (not even1%chance left) to suicide later anyway. Maybe in otehr countries its different, was just wondering. Good luck in any case

 

[Hopeless_soul]

This screams "Jesus freak" to me, did she have a bible beside her or a crucifix round her neck?
Only a believer in the bearded one up in the clouds would say that, I would suggest a therapist who is an atheist.

I was just about to post that. Regardless of your personal beliefs, you should always run away from therapists who talk about God. Those are usually manipulative scammers.

 

[RyanSuicide]

I thought she would be the first therapist I could like, or at least openly talk to. Since I am a bit crippled after my first attempt the first question is always what happened to me and I have to say. The first thing she said was "most people in our society seem to look down on suicide and don't accept it as a solution". I nodded. "But I disagree" she went on. I opened my eyes wide in disbelief. "I think everyone should have the right to decide about their own lives." Finally, I thought, I have found an acceptable therapist!

She went on to say that she has read lots of accounts of NDEs and as a person is drifting off towards death they always encounter a heavenly angel, full o light, ready to take them into their arms. "BUT" she said, and she gave me a very grave look, "the accounts of NDEs of people who attempted suicide are terribly frightening. They don't encounter an angel, instead they get stuck in an endless limbo and the thoughts and feelings that pushed them towards suicide are repeated over and over and over again... that doesn't sound very pleasant, does it?"

Well, fuck off. This is the second therapist (out of 3 I have been to) to have told me something like this. Do they really think this helps in ANY way??? "Scaring" people out of suicide? I am 100% certain I will ctb. And I don't need people who I go to for help to be telling me stories like this. Even if it is true.... The most help I have found is here, where I could for the first time talk openly about my feelings and about suicide. Why are so many therapists morons.

Problem is MANY therapists do not have mental health problems themselves and never have, so they are very pro life. Take what they say with a pinch of salt

 

[ReadyasEver]

I was just about to post that. Regardless of your personal beliefs, you should always run away from therapists who talk about God. Those are usually manipulative scammers.

The therapist was looking for a trigger point, an idea or belief that would get your attention and consider the notion. They are trained to do that, find a core principle or belief in the patient they do not want to violate. I don't necessarily agree with this because they have 50/50 chance or greater in pushing the patient farther away.

 

[Smilla]

This screams "Jesus freak" to me, did she have a bible beside her or a crucifix round her neck?
Only a believer in the bearded one up in the clouds would say that, I would suggest a therapist who is an atheist.

Yup. And this therapist is forcing their spiritual beliefs/worldview onto you.
Unethical as fuck, they should be exploring YOUR beliefs with you, not shoving their own down your throat.

I'd get the hell out of there, pronto.

Sorry this happened to you, you deserve better, much much better.

 

[therhydler]

Sorry this happened to you, you deserve better, much much better.

Thanks

 

[Smilla]

The therapist was looking for a trigger point, an idea or belief that would get your attention and consider the notion. They are trained to do that, find a core principle or belief in the patient they do not want to violate. I don't necessarily agree with this because they have 50/50 chance or greater in pushing the patient farther away.

But this therapist wasn't merely talking about God/asking questions about a patients beliefs. They were spewing them, as if it was truth, almost like indoctrination which is wrong and not therapeutic.

 

[ReadyasEver]

But this therapist wasn't merely talking about God/asking questions about a patients beliefs. They were spewing them, as if it was truth, almost like indoctrination which is wrong and not therapeutic.

Agreed Smilla, a little over the top. They do search for that belief or principle that rocks you and makes you to consider to stop. This one took it way too far and let her personal feelings into the discussion. That's a sign of a bad therapist.

 

[TAW122]

I have never had a therapist say this to me (since I never broached the topic of death or suicide as it's too much of a risk for me), but I did have similar things in regards to the problems I face. Some of the more prominent frustrations I had were when I had legitimate problems, the therapist would not give me the advice of "how" or "what" I should in xyz situation. Instead she just beat around the bush, wasted time, and ultimately it was insulting to just have useless questions aimed at me. It's like "oh let me just ask you how you feel about blah blah blah, go a bit off tangent, circle jerk about societal or her own views on some irrelevant shit, and waste time because somehow you'll just gain some amazing insight, and magically figure it out!" #wowthanksimcured yeeet! /s

Yeah, fuck counseling, therapists, and what not. Even if let's say there is a good one (extremely rare and will likely go broke many many times over before then), it's still futile because they can't solve the problems that I'm facing (never being able to get a genuine relationship with another woman if I really wanted one, obtain virtuosity in music especially piano, fully curing and riding of my Aspergers, to name a few.). I too, hate it when society and people keep pushing therapy and counseling as some go to solution. They are coming from an falliable and incorrect premise and they even refuse to acknowledge it. It's always either "You didn't find the right one, keep going, keep looking", "You didn't try hard enough", "You didn't want to get better", "There is always one that works, you haven't found it yet", "chemical imbalances/you haven't found the right medication", "you need to try abcxyz/you need to give it time for abcxyz to work", "depression is treatable/it's the depression talking," and more... They never admit that sometimes there is just no solution (except for death). Fucking ridiculous and disgusting. This is also why I stopped listening to their bullshit, drivel, advice, and what not, and also kept my real intentions quiet and hidden as possible. I'm not waiting until fucking society changes their view on suicide, or some doctor giving me the greenlight on when it's time for me to go, therefore, I have a firearm and when the very time comes, I'll check out.

Why? I dunno, maybe because fear mongering is a common tactic used by every institution to try and control behavior. I wouldn't believe a word of it, keep fighting the good fight.

Exactly, and any institution, person, or entity with the power to take my freedom away, I do NOT trust them at all, and in fact, I view them as my opposition and the party working AGAINST me. They don't always have my interests in mind, it's them, them, them, and of course, ALWAYS THEM. Therefore, they are not my allies, nor friends, but rather enemies.

 

[Stillnotsure]

I thought she would be the first therapist I could like, or at least openly talk to. Since I am a bit crippled after my first attempt the first question is always what happened to me and I have to say. The first thing she said was "most people in our society seem to look down on suicide and don't accept it as a solution". I nodded. "But I disagree" she went on. I opened my eyes wide in disbelief. "I think everyone should have the right to decide about their own lives." Finally, I thought, I have found an acceptable therapist!

She went on to say that she has read lots of accounts of NDEs and as a person is drifting off towards death they always encounter a heavenly angel, full o light, ready to take them into their arms. "BUT" she said, and she gave me a very grave look, "the accounts of NDEs of people who attempted suicide are terribly frightening. They don't encounter an angel, instead they get stuck in an endless limbo and the thoughts and feelings that pushed them towards suicide are repeated over and over and over again... that doesn't sound very pleasant, does it?"

Well, fuck off. This is the second therapist (out of 3 I have been to) to have told me something like this. Do they really think this helps in ANY way??? "Scaring" people out of suicide? I am 100% certain I will ctb. And I don't need people who I go to for help to be telling me stories like this. Even if it is true.... The most help I have found is here, where I could for the first time talk openly about my feelings and about suicide. Why are so many therapists morons.

Everyone has their own response to people telling them they want to ctb. The scare tactic in general isn't new. It isn't smart and has had studies proving it is ineffective. The "scared strait" tv show is a glaring proof of this. They found the majority of kids on the show are still little shits and committing crimes.

Take it with a grain of salt. I've been through a string of counselors too. I go in and tell them I will be interviewing them for the job. I explain my expectations of them and ask about their gender views on topics important to me. I've had many appointments where we didn't get past the first one because we were too far off from one another. Keep trying. You'll find someone you mesh with.

 

[LastDay]

I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive. People can be 100% set on ctb but still go about daily business to keep up illusions for other people - or even themselves - until the bus arrives.

Yes! Thank you. I'm go to therapy regularly and still trying to make life work. At the same time I'm still weighing out the method and the right time to do it. I really hope it's soon.