Why shouldn't i force myself to ctb?!

[Unknown21]

Recently, my life has taken a bad turn, financially, psychologically, Mentally and socially. There is no real porpuse in continuing and living or wait longer than that. I have been planning for a year and I really want to go out. I know that ctb is the best solution for me and will solve all my problems, but my problem is that when I get close to the date or to do it I feel overwhelmed and wanting to cry or thinking about my family, and this makes me abort the attempt every time even though I have been adhering to the protocol ( my method is SN ) for more than a day. SI IS A REAL BIG BITCH.

My question is, would it be wrong for me to force myself, even a little, in order to end this suffering? Would this be the reason for my failure and my request for help, for example?

I don't know what to do anymore, I'm really tired and exhausted.

 

[Worndown]

It is your choice at the end if the day. It is safe to assume all who ctb have forced themselves.

 

[tbroken]

Personally i was and maybe deep inside of me I'm still a positive person, who thinks that there are many ways of solving problems in life and maybe it is true.
But to force myself i would start smoking a lot, drink and when I'd see a complete stranger in the mirror i would force my way to ctb.