TheLastGreySky
Arcanist
- Nov 24, 2023
- 400
I want to recover -- at least, I would assume it would be beneficial to do so versus CTB.
But, I guess I'm kind of filled with apathy again.
So maybe you can tell me things you're looking forward to or reasons you want to push forward, etc.
For me I feel like life itself is kind of against my moral compass. Until recently I was finding it hard to get a job because I have felonies,
But I found out that you can pass a background check for employment to not disclosing information as long as you're in a different state they won't check unless it's a medical or government job/or something like a bank etc.
So then I'm now filled with the disgust that I have to lie just to survive. I'm currently staying with a (new) girlfriend and about to start work.
Like I got her hooked up with a job at a factory and got a lot of good things for her, but for me... I'm just really not finding any motivation to make plans for next year. I built my identity around being a father, and now I have to play the legal system just to get a Fighting Chance at my freedom and my family. And really, if I lose those battles my life is over.
I'm struggling with trying to be optimistic, and in the event that I do get all the things I want, I don't want to get depressed because I never plan to actually get that far. So maybe I do need to start making plans I'm being successful whether or not I actually do get a miracle.
The last thing I was excited for was Mortal Kombat 1. and I guess I'm kind of disassociating on if there's anything I even enjoy anymore.
But, I guess I'm kind of filled with apathy again.
So maybe you can tell me things you're looking forward to or reasons you want to push forward, etc.
For me I feel like life itself is kind of against my moral compass. Until recently I was finding it hard to get a job because I have felonies,
But I found out that you can pass a background check for employment to not disclosing information as long as you're in a different state they won't check unless it's a medical or government job/or something like a bank etc.
So then I'm now filled with the disgust that I have to lie just to survive. I'm currently staying with a (new) girlfriend and about to start work.
Like I got her hooked up with a job at a factory and got a lot of good things for her, but for me... I'm just really not finding any motivation to make plans for next year. I built my identity around being a father, and now I have to play the legal system just to get a Fighting Chance at my freedom and my family. And really, if I lose those battles my life is over.
I'm struggling with trying to be optimistic, and in the event that I do get all the things I want, I don't want to get depressed because I never plan to actually get that far. So maybe I do need to start making plans I'm being successful whether or not I actually do get a miracle.
The last thing I was excited for was Mortal Kombat 1. and I guess I'm kind of disassociating on if there's anything I even enjoy anymore.
![[NoName]](/data/avatars/s/4/4003.jpg?1542567263){kind=avatar}
