Venting Why recover...

[Already Gone now]

At this point in my life, I'm done with it. I'm not going to make excuses for why I want to die, let's just say I deserve suffering. I've been a bad person to so many people, taking advantage of friends and family and others. I want to rebuild my life and live peaceful. But there's a sadness that's attached to the want to recover. I'm not worth saving. There's no redemption for me, huge coward that loathes every second of his existence. I can't stand this anymore. I'm going to go tie my noose and see if rational thoughts come to mind. If not, I'm going through with it tonight. No one will notice I'm gone til my body starts to decompose and the smell.
Please, someone help me...

 

[Sulyya]

I think there's always potential to do good, even if there are things you can't recover from. The past happened and that's that but if there is something you can rebuild, try it imo.

 

[lpfx]

From what I can gather, it sounds like you still want a chance at living. I could be wrong, this is just from what I can gather.

The biggest thing I can tell you is not to take CTB lightly. It should be done with a clear head and a sound decision.

There are many resources out there for recovering, and many methods of self care that can help, and if you're up to it and think it may be beneficial, you could go as far as to try and make amends with old friends and family.

Best of luck to you, op. I hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be awful feeling trapped in that situation, but I hope that in whatever happens you find relief from your suffering.

 

[SVEN]

I don't know what best to say. That you have reached out to here, maybe means you want reminded that there are friends you have never met who wish you well, whatever you decide.
If you are at all unsure about CTB, you can allow yourself one more night to think things through and settle.
If you are sure, then know that no one here would dare to criticise or judge you. You are wished well, whatever your life drives you to do.
Be kind to yourself.

 

[Already Gone now]

I don't have any supportive people in my life, I feel hated by almost everyone. My Mom laughed at me when telling my issues to her.
I can't shake the feeling of wanting to die. I've already been self harming and I do this because I owe the universe my suffering. And I don't see the point of continuing life. I feel guilty wanting to recover, because... What is there for me after that, I'm an ugly piece of shit and I want out.