I
Iamhere2005
Member
- Feb 25, 2023
- 30
a feeling and belief that one is so disconnected and unable to fully feel a part of this life and this life specifically with other humans. Yes there are examples of people that are isolated and have "nothing." But we have so many examples of people that are beloved and have love all around them yet they feel alone or different or shameful so they can't truly feel full (of love, connection, meaning). If one has real deficits wherein they cannot get access to other people that is a tangible and very difficult issue to overcome. AND for some they can get access to people and are receiving the connection BUT they cannot hold it and they feel just as lost and alone and possibly shameful as the person that cannot get access to people. In the end, the inner voice and inner sense of connection are what hold the key to a life one wants to be in. I think this is why therapies often fail to truly help people. Without changing the belief in and sense of connection nothing much is really happening and then that depressed/anxious person with suicidal ideation will continue to want CTB. So getting to that core subconscious sense of being enough, accepted, loved, and able to connect with others is the (really fucking hard) work. Early experiences as a child will create this imprint of feeling not enough, shameful, etc for then desiring CTB. Pretty awful and doesn't seem like most therapists know what to do here. Lastly, I say this to offer gold stars to all of you out there working really hard to do the work, face your fears, show up to therapy, take those pills, and bravely trying to change your life. You are awesome and people don't appreciate the efforts you make to just keep going even as your brain and body are telling you to give up. I see you and I hope your subconscious finally sees your importance, uniqueness, beauty, and the truth that you are ok and deserve space to make a great life.
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