M
Motoko
Member
- Feb 27, 2020
- 92
Hello everyone,
I just need to quickly get something off my chest.
Due to many reasons, with one being a determinant one, I finally decided to do it.
I was supposed to ctb on New Years Eve 2019. I quit my job which was the most promising job in my life. Cancelled anything that was associated with my personal data etc.
I didn't have guts to do it. I feel so bad about myself that I didn't have enough courage.
Then I said that I will ctb when my savings will end. Again, no courage.
After few months I had no money at all so I sold my phone to have money for food and got a minimum wage job (only possible option during covid).
I've had a loop tied around my neck while standing on chair for about 10 times already. I got so used to it that at the time I was sure that I'm more than ready and "experienced", but no.
One day I will share more about my life etc., but disregarding all that, I just have no idea why am I still playing this stupid game.
I just need to quickly get something off my chest.
Due to many reasons, with one being a determinant one, I finally decided to do it.
I was supposed to ctb on New Years Eve 2019. I quit my job which was the most promising job in my life. Cancelled anything that was associated with my personal data etc.
I didn't have guts to do it. I feel so bad about myself that I didn't have enough courage.
Then I said that I will ctb when my savings will end. Again, no courage.
After few months I had no money at all so I sold my phone to have money for food and got a minimum wage job (only possible option during covid).
I've had a loop tied around my neck while standing on chair for about 10 times already. I got so used to it that at the time I was sure that I'm more than ready and "experienced", but no.
One day I will share more about my life etc., but disregarding all that, I just have no idea why am I still playing this stupid game.
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