Venting why is this shit so difficult??

[nemesis_]

i straight up just don't have an anchor point. i can't buy anything and install it because i still live with my parents who know i'm suicidal. my rope is completely useless now. i can't just go to a hotel cause of my social anxiety. plus the rooms are pretty much suicide proof anyway. i've been considering buying a nylon belt and just hanging myself from my door, but the high quality ones are expensive and i still wouldn't feel "safe" (lol) using one to ctb. i even considered using the string to my blinds lmao. i'm so desperate to die i can't even put it into words. but i'm terrified of failing and ending up disabled. if i knew my method was 100% gonna work, i'd do it immediately.

this is so fucking frustrating.

 

[itsgone2]

i straight up just don't have an anchor point. i can't buy anything and install it because i still live with my parents who know i'm suicidal. my rope is completely useless now. i can't just go to a hotel cause of my social anxiety. plus the rooms are pretty much suicide proof anyway. i've been considering buying a nylon belt and just hanging myself from my door, but the high quality ones are expensive and i still wouldn't feel "safe" (lol) using one to ctb. i even considered using the string to my blinds lmao. i'm so desperate to die i can't even put it into words. but i'm terrified of failing and ending up disabled. if i knew my method was 100% gonna work, i'd do it immediately.

this is so fucking frustrating.

Agree. I have an anchor point but I fear it's too low. Still, I regret not trying yesterday, when I planned to do so. Yes, I would immediately as well. Now I have to go to work today. I so wish I was already gone.