Help why is this bus so hard to catch

[freonix]

not sure if i'd ctb soon, but even if i did, i'd have no idea how to do it at all.

obvious choice is SN but it's classified as a hazardous/explosive chemical here (singapore) and the customs in my country are really strict, i don't think i have the energy left to deal with any legal problems that come up. even if i did, the only sources i've found are dubious unreviewed listings from overseas countries so i'm not sure if i should risk that. (CCS does not ship here)

i have no access to drugs or guns in my country. i don't have any medications to OD with and getting enough to do so is also hard here. would fling myself off a building but i have a fear of heights already :-/ was considering drowning but i can't think of a place in my country where i'd be able to drown unnoticed for long enough for it to work.

only option left i can think of is partial but i'm afraid my survival instinct will kick in... does anyone know any other methods i might've missed? (or the best kind of rope for partial...)

 

[MissionSucksAssFul]

Sorry your government's a bag of dicks... I hope you get to your desired outcome with as little bullshit as possible! Also: every country has drug dealers, have you tried talking among peers and such to see if anyone's connected?

 

[moya117]

It is hard, even methods like jumping from a high place, train, trucks, and all that still have a chance of surviving with a losing limb, while I think OD is my ideal, I don't really recommend it, because it have a high high chance of failure, plus it leaves you with organ failure and all that, and it just add to your sufferings

 

[freonix]

thank you, i wish they weren't a bag of dicks too :-(

have you tried talking among peers and such to see if anyone's connected?

i don't have many people in my life, and i can't think of anyone that would have the connections (or be willing to give them to me).
even if i did, drugs are pretty illegal here (death penalty) & quite frowned upon (in my circle at least) so i don't think i'd get very far unfortunately.
most i've heard from others is vaping and weed, both of which are illegal....

while I think OD is my ideal, I don't really recommend it, because it have a high high chance of failure, plus it leaves you with organ failure and all that, and it just add to your sufferings

yeah, i've heard far too many horror stories about OD, and i don't think it's too much to ask for the ability to ctb peacefully

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm also trapped here because of the fact that suicide is so complicated and difficult, I hate this hellish world where we are unfairly denied a right to die, it's certainly a cruel undeserved punishment existing here, all those who want to be gone should just be able to free themselves from this world in peace. It disgusts me how even despite the fact how there is unlimited potential to suffer in this world, existing is still viewed as an obligation rather than a choice.