P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,938
I kicked myself off with alcohol again today again. Why is it so fucking hard to die .... I just wanna cease a useless existence!!! Sorry for rant / vent!
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,439
Because… The human body is evolved not to die.
•If we try to starve to death, the body will not easily allow it.
•We can't hold our breath to die because there is reflex associated with gasping.
•If we try to poison ourselves, the body will try to resist it- expel the poison through vomiting or other reactions.
So I understand what you meant by stating that it is so hard to die. That is true.

society as restricted every easy method otherwise we could just walk into a shop and buy N
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,504
Because prolifers , news orgs, governments made assisted suicide , nembutal , cyanide capsules etc illegal

All these things were legal or should be legal. But they aren't because evil people went through great effort to make these things a crime illegal
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,938
cyanide capsules etc illegal
LOL cyanide wouldn't be the prob, it's painful !!! LOL ok no prob .... I'm desperate right now and full of alc.

Yeah: N I wish for it so much right now!
 
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_Alfarooq_

_Alfarooq_

Useless bastard almost making the decision to CTB.
Jul 24, 2023
291
I kicked myself off with alcohol again today again. Why is it so fucking hard to die .... I just wanna cease a useless existence!!! Sorry for rant / vent!
Perhaps try to jump off a building??? Almost instant death
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,938
Perhaps try to jump off a building??? Almost instant death
I can't do it I have the chance 24/7 from 20th floor ... I'd have done it if SI didn't stop me. Jumping is too cruel for me.
 
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EndJstifiesTheMeans

EndJstifiesTheMeans

Bad english, didn't go to school sorry
May 14, 2023
448
I kicked myself off with alcohol again today again. Why is it so fucking hard to die .... I just wanna cease a useless existence!!! Sorry for rant / vent!
I know the feeling.. life is a torture
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,504
LOL cyanide wouldn't be the prob, it's painful !!! LOL ok no prob .... I'm desperate right now and full of alc.

Yeah: N I wish for it so much right now!
I saw a video of a guy Michael marin or whatever. He was in Court. He had cyanide capsules. As soon as they read the guilty verdict he took the cyanide capsules. It didn't look that painful to me and was down very quickly. That video is easy to find.

But prolifers have everyone believing every suicide method except nembutal is painful
 
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_Alfarooq_

_Alfarooq_

Useless bastard almost making the decision to CTB.
Jul 24, 2023
291
I can't do it I have the chance 24/7 from 20th floor ... I'd have done it if SI didn't stop me. Jumping is too cruel for me.
Ah, the SI (Survival Instinct, if I got the abbreviation correctly?) that lies to you and says that there is still hope in this life. What type of hope you have? The reason why I am still here is because I want to travel and so, I don't have the desire to CTB yet. But it's your choice. Your lucky you have a free escape from this world with that method right there. Good luck.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,938
I saw a video of a guy Michael marin or whatever. He was in Court. He had cyanide capsules. As soon as they read the guilty verdict he took the cyanide capsules. It didn't look that painful to me and was down very quickly. That video is easy to find.

But prolifers have everyone believing every suicide method except nembutal is painful
I think several grams of it are pretty much peaceful. CN- is indeed my emergency backup method. But I'd need to travel for it right now.
Ah, the SI (Survival Instinct, if I got the abbreviation correctly?) that lies to you and says that there is still hope in this life. What type of hope you have? The reason why I am still here is because I want to travel and so, I don't have the desire to CTB yet. But it's your choice. Your lucky you have a free escape from this world with that method right there. Good luck.
Still too much hope left my life could find a "turnaround" and family, that 's the biggest issues here that prevent me.
 
figure8

figure8

The sun goes down
Jul 17, 2023
76
I can't do it I have the chance 24/7 from 20th floor ... I'd have done it if SI didn't stop me. Jumping is too cruel for me.
Honestly if I lived on the 20th floor, I'd be gone long ago...
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,938
Honestly if I lived on the 20th floor, I'd be gone long ago...
Lucky you!!! I already have a "problem" changing the lamps for the terrace lighting although there's no real "danger" for me.
 
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figure8

figure8

The sun goes down
Jul 17, 2023
76
Lucky you!!! I already have a "problem" changing the lamps for the terrace lighting although there's no real "danger" for me.
I think it's a good thing, though. I wouldn't want to kill myself on impulse. So I'm glad I didn't have access to anything that could seriously hurt me, especially when I was younger.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,258
I find it so inhumane how suicide is purposely made so difficult, the problem will always lie in this anti-suicide society where people are expected to just suffer until they die anyway so meaninglessly and unnecessarily. It really repluses me how people are left with no other options than risky and barbaric methods, it's so inhumane how methods like Nembutal aren't even legalised despite this world undeniably being such a hellish place.
 
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Sweet Tart

Sweet Tart

Arcanist
May 10, 2023
452
I'm also kind of confounded by how hard it is to ctb. Before arriving at this site, I thought it would be easy. It makes sense that the body resists but it's still surprising that there are so few accessible methods. There is so much abuse and homicide in the world; it feels like a disconnect that this can be happening while an individual wishing to peacefully end their suffering has so many obstacles.
 
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K

k1w1

Experienced
Feb 16, 2022
258
LOL cyanide wouldn't be the prob, it's painful !!! LOL ok no prob .... I'm desperate right now and full of alc.

Yeah: N I wish for it so much right now!
I'm not sure you'd be around long to feel much pain, but everyone has their benchmark for suffering. A Balkan politician/General/war-maker downed a shot of the stuff he'd prepped & pocketed after recieving a life sentence in the Hague quite recently. He was out before the judge summed up. Must be true....it's on yootoob
 
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shantyizlit

shantyizlit

Really, what was the point?
Jul 7, 2023
189
Perhaps try to jump off a building??? Almost instant death
I shit bricks just thinking about heights especially after I intended to ctb that way and ended up just staring down at the ground far down legs like jelly. Seems impossible.
 
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_Alfarooq_

_Alfarooq_

Useless bastard almost making the decision to CTB.
Jul 24, 2023
291
I shit bricks just thinking about heights especially after I intended to ctb that way and ended up just staring down at the ground far down legs like jelly. Seems impossible.
I feel like I will react that way too... But it's worth it if your life is that trash
 
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shantyizlit

shantyizlit

Really, what was the point?
Jul 7, 2023
189
I feel like I will react that way too... But it's worth it if your life is that trash
Of course it was worth it, but even though in my head I knew this was what I wanted biology just kicked in and gave me SI. There's always the case of just doing it and overcoming SI, and it really is just an instantaneous decision.. but the more I think of it, I don't want my last experience being one of excruciating pain even if it's only for a moment.
I just literally can't do it.
 
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アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,199
Its hard to die because of the present society and survival instinct. Your body is equipped with countermeasures to ensure your survival, even if you don't want to survive. Like vomiting when you ingest something toxic or when you aren't getting enough air you have a gasp reflex. The society is also another one to blame, its so inhumane how they force us to stay alive as long as we are fit enough to work. They don't even bother trying to make better therapeutical sources or even just making the psych wards at least a little bit more humane. Its disgusting, I really hope they change someday, become more open minded, maybe. You can't expect the body to change its ways because of evolution over thousands of years but i really hope people change their ways.
 
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_Alfarooq_

_Alfarooq_

Useless bastard almost making the decision to CTB.
Jul 24, 2023
291
Of course it was worth it, but even though in my head I knew this was what I wanted biology just kicked in and gave me SI. There's always the case of just doing it and overcoming SI, and it really is just an instantaneous decision.. but the more I think of it, I don't want my last experience being one of excruciating pain even if it's only for a moment.
I just literally can't do it.
Oh yes, the Survival instinct, that lies us and tells us that there is still hope in this life. It's the reason why I am still here. We think life is gonna get better so it makes us value our life more.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,938
I'm not sure you'd be around long to feel much pain, but everyone has their benchmark for suffering. A Balkan politician/General/war-maker downed a shot of the stuff he'd prepped & pocketed after recieving a life sentence in the Hague quite recently. He was out before the judge summed up. Must be true....it's on yootoob
Yes I know it! Sure he did it because according to his own personal view he was not guilty and death was the better option for him.
Oh yes, the Survival instinct, that lies us and tells us that there is still hope in this life. It's the reason why I am still here. We think life is gonna get better so it makes us value our life more.
SI is a double edged sword. Sure, for us here SI is a big problem but in most other cases it saves the body from severe injuries and unwanted death and such situations happen more often than we may really notice.
 
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