Why is every method so effing hard

[swanchild]

Hanging sounds horrible, drowning seems impossible, I don't have anywhere to jump from nor would I have the guts, I don't have access to or the ability to receive drugs, the drugs I do have I tried to OD on and it did nothing, basically my SI is so high everything is traumatic before I've even touched it. Why is this so hard I wish I could just close my eyes and it all be over. Why can't I die?

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish suicide is straightforward in my case, I find it so cruel and terrible how I cannot just easily die in peace with no risks involved, all I wish for is a painless death just like never waking again.

 

[NaoTheGoat]

The boring answer is that our body got tested by all those forms of dying by thousands of years, so most of the specimen that are left have ways to counter them (even if week). Hanging requires the most skilll but has better efficiency, meanwhile jumping is the cheapest, however i think hanging is safer as long you take preucations

 

[Worndown]

SI.

 

[wanttodie12345]

This is where my mind is too! I think many of us wish we could just go to sleep and not wake up - that's my ideal method, haha. I don't have access to firearms. I'd try heroin or fent, but they are illegal and I don't know how I would access. OD with anything else seems likely to fail. Helium/nitrogen are difficult to access without raising alarm from house mates, expensive, and I don't have the physical ability to maneuver the tanks on my own. Can't get myself to a high enough height. Don't want to traumatize anyone like that anyway, so trains are also out. I've wandered around the house looking for anchor points and couldn't find any private enough or strong enough. Can't access illegal meds from the dark web, and I'm afraid of scams that would leave me with an unknown substance that might not be the peaceful end I seek. I keep coming back to sedating myself as best I can with what I have and going to sleep with a plastic bag, but I hear SI would likely wake me up and cause struggles and panic anyway.
Really makes me frustrated that society keeps limiting access to anything that might help with a peaceful passing. It should be an individual's choice - not up to government or healthcare to decide that we've suffered enough. I just want a peaceful way out! (or at least fast and easy - a second of pain for a reliable exit?)

 

[DeathSleep]

It sounds like you feel trapped here. I can definitely relate to that. Like most people I'm wired to avoid pain which is a problem. A bullet to the brain is the best I can hope for I suppose.

 

[sos]

it's not effing hard once you've managed to succeed at the practice run with one of the methods

it requires research and practice

and also determination to successfully push thru w ur efforts

sorry for the boring answer

short answer; SI . . .

 

[clawsofperdition]

feeling the same. i miss when nembutal was a thing. had a chance and survived. never again

 

[Esokabat]

feeling the same. i miss when nembutal was a thing. had a chance and survived. never again

You survived N?

 

[nohopenofuture31]

Hanging sounds horrible, drowning seems impossible, I don't have anywhere to jump from nor would I have the guts, I don't have access to or the ability to receive drugs, the drugs I do have I tried to OD on and it did nothing, basically my SI is so high everything is traumatic before I've even touched it. Why is this so hard I wish I could just close my eyes and it all be over. Why can't I die?

I feel the same. I have kids so I need to make sure I do this safely when there's no potential of the finding me (don't want them to have the trauma). The only method that seems plausible and almost 100% success is the SN method. But I don't have the willpower to get out of bed, let along source SN and the AE they require.I didn't know why we have to be forced to live when all we want to do is be done with it all

 

[mr.smileysad]

I feel the same. I have kids so I need to make sure I do this safely when there's no potential of the finding me (don't want them to have the trauma). The only method that seems plausible and almost 100% success is the SN method. But I don't have the willpower to get out of bed, let along source SN and the AE they require.I didn't know why we have to be forced to live when all we want to do is be done with it all

Why would you leave your children like that?

This is where my mind is too! I think many of us wish we could just go to sleep and not wake up - that's my ideal method, haha. I don't have access to firearms. I'd try heroin or fent, but they are illegal and I don't know how I would access. OD with anything else seems likely to fail. Helium/nitrogen are difficult to access without raising alarm from house mates, expensive, and I don't have the physical ability to maneuver the tanks on my own. Can't get myself to a high enough height. Don't want to traumatize anyone like that anyway, so trains are also out. I've wandered around the house looking for anchor points and couldn't find any private enough or strong enough. Can't access illegal meds from the dark web, and I'm afraid of scams that would leave me with an unknown substance that might not be the peaceful end I seek. I keep coming back to sedating myself as best I can with what I have and going to sleep with a plastic bag, but I hear SI would likely wake me up and cause struggles and panic anyway.
Really makes me frustrated that society keeps limiting access to anything that might help with a peaceful passing. It should be an individual's choice - not up to government or healthcare to decide that we've suffered enough. I just want a peaceful way out! (or at least fast and easy - a second of pain for a reliable exit?)

Mushrooms may alter your mind enough to the point youre temporarily comfortable doing something you wouldnt normally be.

Hanging sounds horrible, drowning seems impossible, I don't have anywhere to jump from nor would I have the guts, I don't have access to or the ability to receive drugs, the drugs I do have I tried to OD on and it did nothing, basically my SI is so high everything is traumatic before I've even touched it. Why is this so hard I wish I could just close my eyes and it all be over. Why can't I die?

sounds like you aren't really commited to dying, just like to idealize it. maybe spend some time in self reflection thinking about what your end goals genuinely is?

 

[Leiden]

It really is so disheartening that there isn't an easy painless way out. Some methods also take more planning and understanding than I have and would surely mess it up. I'm scared of every method. I think the only one I feel most at peace with is N, but the evils took that away from us. It's very scary. The people who have CTB are brave BRAVE MFs!!

 

[CantDoIt]

For real, every method describes how to do it and then a huge, long list of unpleasant side effects.
I think a lot about it and am sure it's the right decision for me but nothing but N has the qualities that I truly want in a method. Everything else is scary. Even SN, do I want to be feeling pain or regret or having some kind of panic attack at the end?

 

[ausiegal]

I 100% agree! I never knew it would be this hard to successfully die. Unfortunately there are no risk-free, fail safe options.

 

[justamirror]

Taking a life … your own life … when you body is actively functioning to keep you alive and prevent your death … has got to be so very hard. It wouldn't make sense if it wasn't.

 

[tiredandafraid]

This is where my mind is too! I think many of us wish we could just go to sleep and not wake up - that's my ideal method, haha. I don't have access to firearms. I'd try heroin or fent, but they are illegal and I don't know how I would access. OD with anything else seems likely to fail. Helium/nitrogen are difficult to access without raising alarm from house mates, expensive, and I don't have the physical ability to maneuver the tanks on my own. Can't get myself to a high enough height. Don't want to traumatize anyone like that anyway, so trains are also out. I've wandered around the house looking for anchor points and couldn't find any private enough or strong enough. Can't access illegal meds from the dark web, and I'm afraid of scams that would leave me with an unknown substance that might not be the peaceful end I seek. I keep coming back to sedating myself as best I can with what I have and going to sleep with a plastic bag, but I hear SI would likely wake me up and cause struggles and panic anyway.
Really makes me frustrated that society keeps limiting access to anything that might help with a peaceful passing. It should be an individual's choice - not up to government or healthcare to decide that we've suffered enough. I just want a peaceful way out! (or at least fast and easy - a second of pain for a reliable exit?)

This is well said. It's all very true. I feel hopeless. I'm tired of physical pain and the mental fuckery that accompanies it.

For real, every method describes how to do it and then a huge, long list of unpleasant side effects.
I think a lot about it and am sure it's the right decision for me but nothing but N has the qualities that I truly want in a method. Everything else is scary. Even SN, do I want to be feeling pain or regret or having some kind of panic attack at the end?

N is my choice too. It's really making me miserable that here's no way to get it in the US.

 

[AmIForReal]

I too feel it is harder than it should be. I just started looking into things I hope I find my way to ctb.