P
pearlontherange
Member
- Aug 18, 2024
- 7
So a bit about me I'm in therapy and on anti-depressants and I objectively feel much better after treatment.
Side note: the right combo of meds + a good therapist is godsend for feeling better.
Anyways it's a little contradictory that I still find suicide very appealing, but from a rational perspective I just think to myself "meh why not." My existence is a rollercoaster definite bright spots and dark spots, but I just don't find a rote existence of going to work, sleep, wake up, etc very appealing.
(Also I just find it funny that I'm this collection of molecules deciding "actually I don't like this configuration. Let me change it up by letting the forces of nature take me." )
At the end of the day, even though I don't have my depression goggles on, I still think this is me putting my best foot forward. I don't think it's sad that I'm going to die, it kinda makes me happy knowing that I can fully write how this story ends.
Hope that wasn't too long
Side note: the right combo of meds + a good therapist is godsend for feeling better.
Anyways it's a little contradictory that I still find suicide very appealing, but from a rational perspective I just think to myself "meh why not." My existence is a rollercoaster definite bright spots and dark spots, but I just don't find a rote existence of going to work, sleep, wake up, etc very appealing.
(Also I just find it funny that I'm this collection of molecules deciding "actually I don't like this configuration. Let me change it up by letting the forces of nature take me." )
At the end of the day, even though I don't have my depression goggles on, I still think this is me putting my best foot forward. I don't think it's sad that I'm going to die, it kinda makes me happy knowing that I can fully write how this story ends.
Hope that wasn't too long