Why I want to CTB

[bulliedpunk]

I cannot live with the way Ive been programmed. Ive been bullied by my family, my friends, my coworkers growing up. I have learned to be subservient and not stand up for myself. I believe Ive been groomed this way by my bullies. I avoid conflict and it is difficult to stand up to people, especially people I like, for fear of causing problems. Even my ex GF noticed this and called me a pushover/bitch.
I am a bigger guy in size, but people can sense if you are weak mentally and will test and push your boundaries and see what they can get away with.
As a man, I can't let myself be this way. Ive been forced to be this way throughout my childhood and teens and 20s. I recently ran into my bully, and even though he noticed I was bigger, He was able to push my boundaries and make me do stuff for him. Its too late to change the way I am. I dont want conflict with anyone, I just want to get along with people. Women notice these traits and deem you as unnattractive. I do not want to live in this world where bad people like that win and get good jobs and nice women, and good people like me lose and get low positions and no girls.
Not having a dad or a father figure to teach me to stand up for myself may have played a part. Only my mom and her sisters teaching me to be a pushover

That is why i want to ctb.

Also because my ex gf can very easily find multiple guys very quickly to replace me and it takes me so long to find just 1 partner. Women complain that life is so unfair to them, but they can easily get partners more than men. The dating game is very unfair to me, so much so that its not even worth playing. Only if you are top tier guy can you get many women. And even if I do find a girl that I like, her sexual past will be extensive. That is not worth it for me.

 

[Zoltiel]

The world is a cruel and unjust place. Studies have even shown that not much changes after high school, if you didn't have a good time in high school, you will carry that with you for a very long time no matter how much your outer circumstances change. It's a brutal pill to swallow, and I have tried for 10 years to make things better, but it is futile because I have no foundation to build that on. Those formative years ARE the foundation of your life. If you have moved around a lot, were an outcast or bullied, I'm sorry but you got VERY unlucky due to circumstances outside your control. Honestly the best advice I can give you is this, try your absolute best, give it everything you've got, CTB will always be there as a last resort option.

 

[vulturecyclop]

Trust me, you don't want to be female either. Being either gender can be equally as bad.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

If you can't live with the way you've been programmed, you can indeed ctb. You can also take self defense courses and martial arts. You can research boundaries.

I'm curious why you would reject an extensive sexual history or assume that's all that you would attract, however, I do not want to make you defensive. I'll just note that it also sounds like programming, that is, what someone else said and you ended up somehow believing to be representative of reality.

Welcome, and I'm glad you reached out. From my perspective, that was brave.

 

[Time]

Welcome, bulliedpunk. And thanks for sharing your story with us.

I identified with almost everything you posted. Sounds like you're describing me...

 

[faust]

Hello, let me explain briefly what I think about your situation. I will be using quotes so that it will be easier for you what I am talking about
"difficult to stand up to people, especially people I like, for fear of causing problems " - it was never easy to defend each other in situations like that. When we talk about standing up for/against somebody/something, we might assume that we have to show our strong character and iron knuckles. This is not good too. The strongest weapon you can have is your calmness and respect to another person even if he/she is not right. If they feel that they cannot provoke you, you won't be bullied. They need to drive you crazy, they get satisfaction from this.
"I recently ran into my bully, and even though he noticed I was bigger, He was able to push my boundaries and make me do stuff for him " - the next time it happens just say something like that: sorry bro, I cannot help you. If he tries you to feel guilty, just say: "I think it would be better to find somebody else who can help you, unless you want to waste your time asking me". If he/she insults you, say sth like that: if I am so bad for you, why are you wasting time on me? There are many other people who can help you"
"I do not want to live in this world where bad people like that win and get good jobs and nice women, and good people like me lose and get low positions and no girls. " - you are not obliged to have a nice girl and a nice job. A nice girl may divorce with you, take away your children, get your house and you may be in a deeper hole. And a well-paid job doesn't mean you will have freedom and you will like it. It is much better to find a job that you like instead of looking for a well-paid. A few words more about girls. I think you need somebody who will understand you. Try to find somebody whose interests are the same as yours. Or maybe just kind-hearted. Might be charity members, girls who like art, books, etc.
"The dating game is very unfair to me, so much so that its not even worth playing. " - I am sure there are enough girls who thinks the same, may be you were looking in the wrong place.
"her sexual past will be extensive. " If that matters for you, you can always find a virgin/girl who did not have much partners. Nowadays it is much harder, but they still exist. Btw some girls watching anime are good too. They are less likely to become a potential gold-digger and love whoever you are. There are some lonely girls too, who are looking for love but think that most guys are obsessed with things like sex, etc.
*****************************
A few more words. If somebody is trying to bully/offense me, it sometimes turns into laughter, because the arguments they provide are idiotic. If you want to hear some non-sense you can always ask "why" on each offense. Eventually your opponent will lose the track of what is going on. He will have to recall more and more new words and the conflict will be talked out
*****************************
No matter what your decision will be, please feel free to talk to us and express what you feel. Sending you hugs

 

[bulliedpunk]

"Nowadays it is much harder, but they still exist. Btw some girls watching anime are good too. They are less likely to become a potential gold-digger and love whoever you are. There are some lonely girls too, who are looking for love but think that most guys are obsessed with things like sex, etc."


Even nice girls who watch anime, go to church, charity members are still having lots of sex. Average girls have sex at a much higher rate than average guys because sex is always available to them. Guys will always sleep with less attractive girls because they are easy. It is not fair that prostitution is not legal for men so that wwe can have sex too

 

[mesohappy]

Welcome and sorry to hear about your situation.I wish you luck in whatever you do.If you DO decide to ctb,I would just hope its what YOU truly desire for yourself.Don't let your bullies bully you into it.Then those assholes win.

 

[TAW122]

I understand your situation as I've been a victim of bullying, a fucked up society, and also the way I'm programmed. Not being able to accept the things in society, the lies, the delusions, the falsehoods, all contribute to my wanting to CTB as well. I don't think your reasons are bad at all, they are perfectly valid. I will not gatekeep and tell you what you should do since you are the only person who can make the decision for yourself and yourself only. Just like what @mesohappy said, make sure that you are choosing this because you WANT to (free will), NOT because the bullies push you into this decision (coercion). I wish you peace in whatever you end up choosing to do.

 

[mesohappy]

"Nowadays it is much harder, but they still exist. Btw some girls watching anime are good too. They are less likely to become a potential gold-digger and love whoever you are. There are some lonely girls too, who are looking for love but think that most guys are obsessed with things like sex, etc."


Even nice girls who watch anime, go to church, charity members are still having lots of sex. Average girls have sex at a much higher rate than average guys because sex is always available to them. Guys will always sleep with less attractive girls because they are easy. It is not fair that prostitution is not legal for men so that wwe can have sex too

So your worried about being with a girl with an extensive history,but would be willing to go to a prostitute?

 

[andy69]

I cannot live with the way Ive been programmed. Ive been bullied by my family, my friends, my coworkers growing up. I have learned to be subservient and not stand up for myself. I believe Ive been groomed this way by my bullies. I avoid conflict and it is difficult to stand up to people, especially people I like, for fear of causing problems. Even my ex GF noticed this and called me a pushover/bitch.
I am a bigger guy in size, but people can sense if you are weak mentally and will test and push your boundaries and see what they can get away with.
As a man, I can't let myself be this way. Ive been forced to be this way throughout my childhood and teens and 20s. I recently ran into my bully, and even though he noticed I was bigger, He was able to push my boundaries and make me do stuff for him. Its too late to change the way I am. I dont want conflict with anyone, I just want to get along with people. Women notice these traits and deem you as unnattractive. I do not want to live in this world where bad people like that win and get good jobs and nice women, and good people like me lose and get low positions and no girls.
Not having a dad or a father figure to teach me to stand up for myself may have played a part. Only my mom and her sisters teaching me to be a pushover

That is why i want to ctb.

Also because my ex gf can very easily find multiple guys very quickly to replace me and it takes me so long to find just 1 partner. Women complain that life is so unfair to them, but they can easily get partners more than men. The dating game is very unfair to me, so much so that its not even worth playing. Only if you are top tier guy can you get many women. And even if I do find a girl that I like, her sexual past will be extensive. That is not worth it for me.

I wish I could tell you things can get better, but they may not. My partner broke up with me almost a year ago, and I am now too old to find someone new.

 

[faust]

"Nowadays it is much harder, but they still exist. Btw some girls watching anime are good too. They are less likely to become a potential gold-digger and love whoever you are. There are some lonely girls too, who are looking for love but think that most guys are obsessed with things like sex, etc."


Even nice girls who watch anime, go to church, charity members are still having lots of sex. Average girls have sex at a much higher rate than average guys because sex is always available to them. Guys will always sleep with less attractive girls because they are easy. It is not fair that prostitution is not legal for men so that wwe can have sex too

I think that most men would not like to work in escort. It is because your clients will be absolutely different. They can be young or old, they may have different bodies. Some of clients will be gays/transsexuals and if you are pure hetero, it may be hard for you.
Now let's return to girls. I agree with you that girls are usually getting more sex. I think this is because they have more options to choose. In my opinion males are more often obsessed with sex meaning that they have bigger demand and less supply (sorry for overacting) while females have a smaller demand and bigger supply.

 

[bulliedpunk]

QUOTE="mesohappy, post: 568184, member: 13842"]
So your worried about being with a girl with an extensive history,but would be willing to go to a prostitute?
[/QUOTE]
Just for sex, . women are having sex at the same rate, and as an average male thats the only way i can have just as much sex
I dont want to be a prostitute, what are you talking about

I think that most men would not like to work in escort. It is because your clients will be absolutely different. They can be young or old, they may have different bodies. Some of clients will be gays/transsexuals and if you are pure hetero, it may be hard for you.
Now let's return to girls. I agree with you that girls are usually getting more sex. I think this is because they have more options to choose. In my opinion males are more often obsessed with sex meaning that they have bigger demand and less supply (sorry for overacting) while females have a smaller demand and bigger supply.

 

[mesohappy]

I wish I could tell you things can get better, but they may not. My partner broke up with me almost a year ago, and I am now too old to find someone new.

Somewhere out there,theres an old messed up, horny broad telling herself the same thing.I hope you cross paths with her.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

OP: goddamn, bubba! you're tall AND not autistic? just become a libertine and enjoy getting more ass than a toilet seat

I'm an efilist, but you're pulling the ejection handle without even trying to recover from stall.

 

[faust]

QUOTE="mesohappy, post: 568184, member: 13842"]
So your worried about being with a girl with an extensive history,but would be willing to go to a prostitute?

Just for sex, . women are having sex at the same rate, and as an average male thats the only way i can have just as much sex
I dont want to be a prostitute, what are you talking about
[/QUOTE]
Sorry, nothing personal. I was just replying to this message "It is not fair that prostitution is not legal for men so that wwe can have sex too "
If you want sex, you can always keep trying. Maybe the problem is that you don't know which approach to use. Nobody is born a macho, it is a matter of practice. But could you tell me, do you feel any fear when you want to talk to a pretty but stranger girl?

 

[bulliedpunk]

Just for sex, . women are having sex at the same rate, and as an average male thats the only way i can have just as much sex
I dont want to be a prostitute, what are you talking about

Sorry, nothing personal. I was just replying to this message "It is not fair that prostitution is not legal for men so that wwe can have sex too "
If you want sex, you can always keep trying. Maybe the problem is that you don't know which approach to use. Nobody is born a macho, it is a matter of practice. But could you tell me, do you feel any fear when you want to talk to a pretty but stranger girl?
[/QUOTE]I have no problem approaching girls and getting their numbers. I even get dates and make out with women. But women tend to lose interest as time goes on. Getting them to my place to have sex is the issue sometimes. Either they say they dont feel comfortable or something else. I know they have had one night stands before. Even having sex with multiple guys at the same time. But it is what it is. Im tired of wasting my time. I want sex. I dont care if nobody is entitled to anything. I want sex, and women are getting it more than me, and its not fair.

 

[faust]

Sorry, nothing personal. I was just replying to this message "It is not fair that prostitution is not legal for men so that wwe can have sex too "
If you want sex, you can always keep trying. Maybe the problem is that you don't know which approach to use. Nobody is born a macho, it is a matter of practice. But could you tell me, do you feel any fear when you want to talk to a pretty but stranger girl?

I have no problem approaching girls and getting their numbers. I even get dates and make out with women. But women tend to lose interest as time goes on. Getting them to my place to have sex is the issue sometimes. Either they say they dont feel comfortable or something else. I know they have had one night stands before. Even having sex with multiple guys at the same time. But it is what it is. Im tired of wasting my time. I want sex. I dont care if nobody is entitled to anything. I want sex, and women are getting it more than me, and its not fair.
[/QUOTE]
If you keep them "warm" throughout your date, it can be easier to sleep with them afterwards. Like touching, saying something hot, showing that you want them. Or maybe call them to a party/night club and then say that there is no need for her to go home, she may stay with you. Or create kind of surprise, that she will definitely like and say you forgot it at home, would you like to come with me? If e.g. your gf has a party at her home, you may suggest her helping to clean the mess. You will probably be alone there as nobody usually stay when it's time to tidy.

 

[mesohappy]

Sorry, nothing personal. I was just replying to this message "It is not fair that prostitution is not legal for men so that wwe can have sex too "
If you want sex, you can always keep trying. Maybe the problem is that you don't know which approach to use. Nobody is born a macho, it is a matter of practice. But could you tell me, do you feel any fear when you want to talk to a pretty but stranger girl?

I have no problem approaching girls and getting their numbers. I even get dates and make out with women. But women tend to lose interest as time goes on. Getting them to my place to have sex is the issue sometimes. Either they say they dont feel comfortable or something else. I know they have had one night stands before. Even having sex with multiple guys at the same time. But it is what it is. Im tired of wasting my time. I want sex. I dont care if nobody is entitled to anything. I want sex, and women are getting it more than me, and its not fair.
[/QUOTE] If your looking for a quick fix to just hold you over for awhile and you got some extra cash at the end of the week,maybe you could hit up a massage parlor.They have them all over my town and police don't seem to bother neither the patrons or the workers.I don't know how it is where you live,but over here they are basically a brothel.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you are being bullied in your life, and it's hard to stand up for yourself. Maybe if you tried standing up for yourself with little things first, it might become easier to stand up for yourself with bigger things later.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

This guy was a troll, right?