Venting Why I hate toast

[Inferdan]

It's horrible. The crunch makes me shiver. What it's made of sickens me and mold can thrive on it. What's more, the taste of the burn marks after toasting always kills me a little inside. People are taken advantage of with overpriced bread, and some people are actually addicted to it! I can't take it. Every time I see bread, I take it to the yard and burn with with my flamethrower. Other times, I grind it into tiny pieces and give it to the ducks. if they enjoy it, might as well let them.

Edit: Before people think I'm serious, this is a joke, and a response to "Ten threads we haven't seen...", etc., etc.

 

[Mort]

It's horrible. The crunch makes me shiver. What it's made of sickens me and mold can thrive on it. What's more, the taste of the burn marks after toasting always kills me a little inside. People are taken advantage of with overpriced bread, and some people are actually addicted to it! I can't take it. Every time I see bread, I take it to the yard and burn with with my flamethrower. Other times, I grind it into tiny pieces and give it to the ducks. if they enjoy it, might as well let them.

:)

 

[Inferdan]

:)

You've been waiting for your moment for a while now, and you've finally taken it this is perfect

 

[terry_a_davis]

OP is a toastophobe. I like toast

 

[Inferdan]

OP is a toastophobe. I like toast

Toastophobe, haha, nice one. It's officially a part of the English language now :p

 

[Brick In The Wall]

One time I saw Baby Jesus in my toast. He told me to go forth and bread the message.

 

[Epsilon0]

One time I saw Baby Jesus in my toast. He told me to go forth and bread the message.

Please don't come aknockin' at my door. I am gluten intolerant.

 

[mesohappy]

AAaaah,but what if its GARLIC toast??

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

OP is a toastophobe. I like toast

This is negating. OP has a right to his preferences without labeling.

 

[Dear Flabby]

One time I saw Baby Jesus in my toast. He told me to go forth and bread the message.

Well, stop loafing around, then!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Why I love toast:

catbreading.org

 

[Dear Flabby]

Well, stop loafing around, then!

Edit: Sorry @Brick In The Wall , I didn't mean to insult your spiritual beliefs. I can't help it—I belong to the "pun-per-nickel" sect. We practice rye humour:)

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Edit: Sorry @Brick In The Wall , I didn't mean to insult your spiritual beliefs. I can't help it—I belong to the "pun-per-nickel" sect. We practice rye humour:)

No harm done, I've been known to attend that church on occasion.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I belong to the "pun-per-nickel" sect

Fart goblins!

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Fart goblins!

Holy Shit Demons!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Holy Shit Demons!
View attachment 29405

You've been in my bathroom? Eeeeeek!

 

[Brick In The Wall]

You've been in my bathroom? Eeeeeek!

Have a hug, an no I didn't wash my hands!

 

[Jean4]

I hate toast too!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

In the similar threads below, "Anyone else hate babies?" popped up (ha ha, that was so easy).

So I googled images with the search term "babies toast."

I found "How not to use babies to promote your product." This is so wrong.

Spoiler: Wrong

 

[Deleted member 1465]

In the similar threads below, "Anyone else hate babies?" popped up (ha ha, that was so easy).

So I googled images with the search term "babies toast."

I found "How not to use babies to promote your product." This is so wrong.

Spoiler: Wrong

View attachment 29406

I have a vivid imagination, but I can honestly say...no...just, no.

I have a vivid imagination, but I can honestly say...no...just, no.

Hahahahaha we used to run the typical 'Bonnie Baby' competition every year on the paper. I was always looking round for stock images with which to promote it. It's a bloody good job I never found this one

 

[faraway_beach]

NYC's mayor got criticized for asking for his bagel to be toasted. I don't like the mayor. The enemy of one's enemy is one's friend, so toast is my friend.

 

[Epsilon0]

NYC's mayor got criticized for asking for his bagel to be toasted. I don't like the mayor. The enemy of one's enemy is one's friend, so toast is my friend.

I like your toast, sorry, I mean post.

 

[the box is empty]

I hate toast. It's coarse and rough and irritating. And it gets everywhere.

 

[marcusuk63]

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I am enraged. I feel the suffering of all of you who have dealt with the scattering of crumbs, the torturous scraping sounds, the uneven spreading of butter or margarine, the over toasting, the under toasting, the uneven toasting. This is my last post. You will likely see me on the news. I am sorry for the unwanted attention that will undoubtedly be drawn to this site, but I can no longer sit impotent and silent.

As of tonight, toast is toast.

Goodbye, community. Know that I do this for you. I do it for the world. If one less person ctb's because of the treachery of toast, I will know my life was worth something. When you remember me, raise a glass if you wish, but please...no toasts.

 

[Dear Flabby]

I am enraged. I feel the suffering of all of you who have dealt with the scattering of crumbs, the torturous scraping sounds, the uneven spreading of butter or margarine, the over toasting, the under toasting, the uneven toasting. This is my last post. You will likely see me on the news. I am sorry for the unwanted attention that will undoubtedly be drawn to this site, but I can no longer sit impotent and silent.

As of tonight, toast is toast.

Goodbye, community. Know that I do this for you. I do it for the world. If one less person ctb's because of the treachery of toast, I will know my life was worth something. When you remember me, raise a glass if you wish, but please...no toasts.

Well, my goodness gracious, you..crumbled..yes, crumbled,
Under pressure.
Are you certain?
Have you considered both sides of the slice?
When life gives you lemons, make delightfully tangy marmalade, yes?
(Sarcasm)

 

[Inferdan]

I am enraged. I feel the suffering of all of you who have dealt with the scattering of crumbs, the torturous scraping sounds, the uneven spreading of butter or margarine, the over toasting, the under toasting, the uneven toasting. This is my last post. You will likely see me on the news. I am sorry for the unwanted attention that will undoubtedly be drawn to this site, but I can no longer sit impotent and silent.

As of tonight, toast is toast.

Goodbye, community. Know that I do this for you. I do it for the world. If one less person ctb's because of the treachery of toast, I will know my life was worth something. When you remember me, raise a glass if you wish, but please...no toasts.

Songs will be sung in your memory, while all history of toast will rise into the air as embers, and into the ground as ashes. Farewell, my friend...you will be dearly missed, but it is for the greater good...

 

[Mort]

Sum of the best si fi ever well in my humble opinion :)

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Sum of the best si fi ever well in my humble opinion :)

LoL excellent. 'Ahhh so you're a waffle man!'

 

[Inferdan]

LoL excellent. 'Ahhh so you're a waffle man!'

*looks at cyborg crewmate*
See, see what he's like?